now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Loess (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=88) +----- Thread: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris (/showthread.php?tid=20965) |
now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - leliana - 09-30-2018 it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in @[vulgaris] RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - vulgaris - 10-01-2018 Vulgaris
Normally he’s able to rein in his emotions, keep them bottled tight and packed away until it’s time for another cleansing. His hunger only gnashes its teeth when he drops the muzzle. But lately it surges just beneath the surface and tests the boundaries until it finds a little more give in him. Vulgaris hates the way his skin is always burning hot now as though the adrenaline will never stop dumping into his veins like toxic waste. He’s on edge where before he was always so self-assured and relaxed in his own domain. He knew that even if he wasn’t near, then Wolfbane and Kaurma were keeping an equally watchful eye on the kingdom.
But now he’s got a fever that only blood will break. Now he can never be full again. He gives Leliana her space but even that picks at him. He wants to tear her shell apart and demand answers as he would with anyone else. Yet he remains silent, brooding in the heat of his rage as he watches from afar. Vulgaris manages to choke down the embers of his hatred whenever Adna is near and he vaguely remembers how to be gentle with her. He kisses her forehead each night and professes his love for his tiny daughter at any opportunity, but the second she leaves him it’s all misery again. He turns his gray head when she speaks his name but he says nothing in response. There is no control over his tongue when he opens his mouth so he thinks it best to just keep it shut. A slow sigh eases from him but it feels like the smog of some great fire in the crisp spring night, dirty and coating anything it touches. Still, he draws closer to Leliana and presses his lips to her cheek. Loving her is a language that comes as easily to him as breathing. His head has been so full of all the questions he could gather the past few days but he finds nothing of use now. Instead he has an exhaustion that only the warmth of her skin can soothe. So he leans his face against her neck and he frowns at how small she feels against him. Vulgaris kisses down to her shoulder and explores the edge of her shoulder blade for a while before moving on to her spine. She’s always beautiful to him but he worries, always troubles himself with his woes for her. “I’ll always love you, Leliana,” he mumbles against her back lazily. He’s still tense with his finger on the trigger but his grip is a little loosened with her around. “But I’ll kill anyone who looks at you wrong.” It goes without saying what he wants to do to anyone who would hurt her. The scars of his face and the point of his teeth say more than words ever could. No one worships pain the way he does, whether he’s giving or taking. No one could ever lay at the altar of agony and relish in it like Vulgaris. " ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. " RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - leliana - 10-01-2018 it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in @[vulgaris] RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - vulgaris - 10-03-2018 Vulgaris
He frowns when he feels the early quakes of her sobs breaking through her but he only presses tighter against her. His lips feel wrong every second they’re not on her skin. Vulgaris wants to pour all the strength he has into her and he tries his best to build her back up with his love, as if it could fill in the space between skin and bone. Before her, there was never a time when he felt weak. There was power in every fiber of his being and he never knew how to yield, to step back and surrender even when he could triumph. He never had to pick his battles.
But now he has her and Adna to think of. Now there are reasons to come home at night. Then she’s speaking and he’s listening to her every word. Words have never come naturally to him and he breathes a slow sigh as he tries to gather what little he can think to say. “Leliana, I was alone when you met me. I have been alone for so long,” he says softly into the cradling warmth of her trembling body. There were bodies and sleepless nights but they never curled up in that void of his soul and called it home. They never cared to run their fingers through the tangled mess of his life and pick out the pieces they liked best. No one ever tried to kiss him back together like she did, and so he considered himself isolated. “Maybe if we were never broken we would never fit together.” The thought sounds stupid when it leaves his lips but it’s too late to take it back now. “You are my life, my salvation. I love you. For tonight and forever.” He traces his lips across her skin until he returns to her cheek, kissing the trail that her tears have made down her face. Maybe he doesn’t deserve her but he doesn’t dare say it out loud. If she ever realized how much greater a love she could find, she would surely leave. Vulgaris is greedy for her affection and her touch. He wants to drown in the ocean of her heart. " ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. " RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - leliana - 10-04-2018 Leliana but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me @[vulgaris] RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - vulgaris - 10-05-2018 Vulgaris
He breathes a sigh of relief when her quakes turn to weak trembling and the tears don’t come quite so easily. At least he can manage that much. He’d always believed he was the worst at comforting others. His hands were simply not made to cradle others’ hopes and dreams but rather to crush the life from his enemies. How could he ever learn to foster things like joy and happiness? But here she is, overcoming whatever darkness envelops her while he holds her. Vulgaris begins to wonder if maybe he’s not quite so useless as he thought.
She says she loves him and the words send a shiver down the entire length of his spine. Somehow it disarms him every time she speaks those three words, sends him headfirst into a kind of tranquility that was never offered to him before. It leaves his skin electrified. Vulgaris relaxes his gray head over her as he continues to lip at the delicate inches of her neck. She knows that one bite could end her, especially while she is so weak. She knows and still she curls tight against him without a thought as to what he is or the things he’s done while she slept. He breathes into her while she speaks and it hurts him to hear the pain woven into her words. There is no remedy for the sort of ache she professes, he knows, and so he keeps her close where he can shield her from outside this moment. “I cherish every piece you give me. It feels like I can’t breathe when you’re apart from me,” he says when she steps back to watch him. “I never dreamed of even meeting someone so unattainable as you.” Then he kisses at the corner of her lips, starved for more of her divine touch against his skin. “I worship everything that you are.” And it’s true. Her heart is the cathedral where he confesses his sins and washes the blood from his hands. A single kiss of her lips is absolution, a baptism from all that he’s said or done with hatred on his tongue. She washes the guilt from his skin and untangles the mess of lust from his ribs – keeps it all for herself, leaving him blind to the beauty of others. (And it’s true. His fire burns only for her, forevermore.) When sleep clouds his head and leaves him drifting, his final thought each night is wondering how he could ever deserve to be loved by someone like her. Where before his dreams were always red and fevered, now they are only ever of her smile and the sound of her laughter. " ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. " RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - leliana - 10-06-2018 Leliana but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me @[vulgaris] RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - vulgaris - 10-08-2018 Vulgaris
There’s always been a hole worn into him, a pit where he stuffs everything he would rather not think about. Leliana reaches in and makes him whole again. She rips the cancerous pieces from him and kisses the marks she leaves all through him. In truth, he is terrified of how much power he has given her (continues to give her, endlessly, ad infinitum). It sends a sick shiver up his spine when she presses back against him and speaks her perfect offering to him. Every breath is a new covenant, a testament to their love as it grows into something even greater. It dwarfs the simple adoration of those around them.
But her words aren’t needed. He knows what she feels as it churns through them both like some ancient tide. The hormones breathe relief and joy into them after the ache of failure. The world is more vivid for a moment and the warmth of her touch is too much for him to bear. Their first night plays through his head and he’s trailing his teeth across her skin without a thought. He’s careful when he tests the softness of her skin with the razor edge of his fangs. They prick and pull but never enough to draw blood from her tired body when she invites him to relive the last autumn they shared. There is a desire gnawing at his bones but he never bites into her the way he wants to. This body never learned how to cherish the things it loves; it only knows to crush and consume, and God he wants to crush her with the weight of all this want. But he remains gentle with her. Every kiss up and down her spine is restrained. He fits over her hips like they were made for one another and he mumbles prayers through his teeth and against her skin. Vulgaris lets his lips map the curves of her body until he’s memorized the perfect slope of her back a hundred times. He wants to ruin her, God, he wants to rip her from the altar he’s built for her. But he must be content with this. He must only imagine the way he wants to break her this time. He closes his eyes and the dream blends into reality. She offers up her skin and he takes it. " ancient language, speak through fingers. the awful edges where you end and i begin. " RE: now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris - leliana - 10-09-2018 Leliana but there you go again, turning golden, right there in front of me @[vulgaris] |