[mature] Kali; - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Tephra (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=85) +------ Forum: Islandres (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=42) +------ Thread: [mature] Kali; (/showthread.php?tid=21853) Pages:
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Kali; - Kharon - 11-25-2018 kharon oh baby, I have not been kind I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind RE: Kali; - Kali - 11-29-2018 While they were around other people, she mostly still hid in his mane, clinging tight to his hair and curling against his neck and closing her eyes ‘til they were alone again. But when it was just them, she was juuust starting to slip back into her normal shape and snuggle up as they walked again. It was a little easier after trying it with Mom, when she’d so badly wanted cuddles like when she’d been little, all curled up tight against Mom’s side. And then Mom’d coaxed her into wandering for a while, and it had helped in a so-quiet way, giving her something to focus on other than the loud, echoing numbness in her head. Her head drooped as she walked beside her Khari; it had felt so heavy lately, and the effort to stand tall rarely felt worth it. She rubbed her cheek against Khari’s shoulder and let out a quiet little sigh. He slowed, found them a place to curl up, and she nodded and settled beside him, tucking herself up against him and snuggling as close as she could get, her cheek resting against his neck. Sure, she agreed, closing her eyes and rubbing her cheek against him just a little more. Whatever you want. He was unusually quiet, but she didn’t think much of it ‘til he asked her what she’d said. She lifted her head and turned to look at him, expression gently puzzled. He tried to play it off, but it made her look closer, notice the ache in his eyes, the weariness there. It’s fine. This is cozy. Nice. She pressed a little closer as he pulled her in, snuck a little nuzzle to his cheek in the hopes of reassuring him. Cozy and quiet and alone sounded perfect, and she was happy to just curl up with him and be for a while. I like it. She wasn’t really much of one for playing these days, but she was alwayyys ready to cuddle with her Khari. Just hold me, maybe? she asked softly, and brushed the side of her nose against his neck. Tucked up against him and wrapped up in his embrace, blanketed by his wing and bathing in the scent of him, still smelling like home even though their home had changed, it sounded perfect. He was home. RE: Kali; - Kharon - 12-02-2018 kharon oh baby, I have not been kind I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind RE: Kali; - Kali - 12-05-2018 Her sweet Khari. She nodded too and let him pull her in, melting against him with a cozy sigh. Wiggled just a little to snuggle extra close, drape herself over him just so, press a soft little kiss to the side of his neck. She loved the feel of his wing tucked around her, like he was wrapping her up in his love. Like he could chase away all the bad and the hurt and keep her safe with the touch of soft feathers and the way he held her to him even when he was sprawled out on the ground like that. She even managed a little smile for him, even if his eyes were closed. Didn’t matter if he couldn’t see it, he’d hear her think it, and knowing that made her heart just a little lighter. As long as you need, she answered him, letting her nose brush along the side of his neck. Had another headache, didn’t he? He didn’t like to tell her, but she could see it in the way he squeezed his eyes shut, in the hint of a wince, knew from how he picked the shade when he was normally so drawn to sun and light and warmth. Do you need to be farther away? We could...we could try out on the ocean, if maybe it’s safe? She wasn’t sure if the plague could find them out on the water. There was still a tiny part of her that was afraid to be out on the water again, caught flashes of memory from Taiga at the thought, enchanted water flooding her nose and mouth, stealing the breath from her lungs--but the water was theirs, held them up on its shining, gleaming surface the way it did for so few. Shy of the gods themselves making another appearance, it should be safe enough. At least from magical water torture. Okay, so the thought still made her curl tighter against her Khari and shudder. But she’d do it for him. If he thought it would help. She stroked his hair and nuzzled the side of his neck again, giving him a moment to think it over. RE: Kali; - Kharon - 12-09-2018 kharon oh baby, I have not been kind I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind RE: Kali; - Kali - 12-11-2018 Kali sighed softly and angled her head to let him reach her neck better, trace his lips along it and sneak a kiss just below her ear. It felt so cozy and right, and she nuzzled him back, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his face just beyond his mouth. Her Khari. I miss you too. Miss how things used to be. Before…She trailed off with a little shudder, not quite finishing the thought, or at least not so directly. Before Taiga and terror and trauma had shoved her so deep inside herself he'd barely been able to coax her back out. Before life had struck them again, sent her skittering right back into the dark recesses of her mind she'd barely begun to come back to him from. She missed light in their eyes and smiles on their lips, unburdened hearts and cozy contentment. And more. She missed excitement, missed the way she used to buzz with delight and energy, the way sometimes when he touched her it set her nerve endings on fire, made electricity tingle and shimmer beneath her skin. She missed feeling alive. I'm starting to. I think, at least, she answered, and snuggled a little closer, nestling against him, shifting a little restlessly. You're helping with that. A lot. She brushed her lips against the line of his jaw, chased the touch with the softest touch of her nose. He and Momma and Daddy had been so patient with her, letting her struggle to process everything in her own time. Thank you for being so patient. RE: Kali; - Kharon - 12-16-2018 kharon oh baby, I have not been kind I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind RE: Kali; - Kali - 12-19-2018 Anything for you. Kali was so, so tired of the hollow, numb feeling that had settled so deep into her skin, made everything feel far-away and unimportant. She was sick to death of their dull eyes and quiet, aching sadness, of being scared all the time and feeling like nothing mattered. Because know what? They mattered. She did, and so did he, and she was done. She huffed out an impatient breath, and--huh? Oh. Kids? Like Tyr, or Kylie’s, or the other kids running around on the island? She shrugged. I dunno, not really. I guess I probably should. I used to wanna know everybody, but it’s felt so pointless lately. So...fleeting. Maybe that was part of the problem. Everything felt futile, like any effort she put in could be erased in a heartbeat, any progress she made destroyed in the blink of an eye by the whims of gods or fairies or fate. Friends could get ripped away at any moment, so why bother making them? But she was so damn tired of that feeling, of that...powerlessness. She wanted to feel alive again. Needed it somewhere deep in her bones. And if she tried hard enough, she could almost feel the way he’d made her skin come alive with his touch, made her ache and shiver and gasp, made electricity course through her veins. So she looked up at her Khari, reaching past memories of Taiga and destruction, past her pain and her fear and the all-consuming numbness that had swallowed her down so far. Khari? she asked, and suddenly it was a little hard to breathe, her heart skipping a beat of its steady rhythm, and then kicking up to a faster pace. You said...you said if I ever wanted… Her face flushed and she reached out to bump the top of her nose against his chin the way she used to, then turned the familiar motion into a shy little caress. It felt so good when you touched me. I want to feel good again. Maybe we could…? She didn’t really know what, exactly, but he’d promised he could do more. If she ever wanted. If you want to, I mean. ‘cause maybe he didn’t, now that she was...so quiet and heavy and sad and she had that ugly seared spot that was still healing and naked and maybe he wouldn’t want to kiss her more. Which...would be okay too. She looked away, worrying at her lower lip, all that determination melting away. He’d wanted to kiss her before, wanted to touch her and show her things, wanted her. What if he didn’t want her anymore, though? I just don’t want to feel like this anymore, Khari. I miss us. Maybe we could try to make each other feel better? she asked, and pressed a soft, shy little kiss to the corner of his mouth. The fluttering in her belly was more nervous than excited, not knowing if he’d want to, or if he’d pull back and get quiet and not want--ugh she pulled back a little herself to look up at him, eyes wide and full of fragility they hadn’t held the last time he’d kissed her. Or...I mean...it’s okay if you don’t wanna. RE: Kali; - Kharon - 12-23-2018 kharon oh baby, I have not been kind I wish I could scrape away the dirt that's on my mind RE: Kali; - Kali - 12-23-2018 He looked away from her, and her face fell. Oh. Okay. He...maybe didn’t want--oh. She curled in on herself a little, barely fighting off the urge to shift into something small and hidey. That wasn’t the flicker of heat she remembered seeing in his eyes, or want in the way his voice echoed in her head. He just sounded sad when he said he missed how they used to be too. Maybe...she guessed she’d gotten kinda skinny, and she still had that ugly singe where the hair had just begun to grow back, and...maybe he didn’t want her anymore? Maybe this sad, pathetic wreck of a girl she’d become wasn’t very...attractive. Yeah, okay, she answered, her heart aching at the way maybe kinda felt like oh um no thanks. Especially when he asked if there were anything else he could do to help her. Okay. It was okay. He didn’t wanna kiss her anymore, didn’t wanna touch her, no big deal, that definitely didn’t make her throat hurt or her eyes burn, and she for sure was not gonna cry. Had she lost that too? She could bear losing home, losing Taiga, losing Uncle Ru, could bear the whole world falling apart and ending and changing, time warping and stealing them away, god, she could do it, even if she was barely holding on, but him? If she lost him too, she thought she might die, might just stop trying, stop making herself eat when everything tasted like ash in her mouth, stop making herself drink when every swallow felt like the water rising up to choke her and steal the breath from her lungs, might just lay down and die of a broken heart if she lost him too. He was there, though, just...maybe just not how they used to be, all wild and free, eyes wide and hearts racing and--no, it was selfish to ask him to be like that with her when she wasn't like that anymore either. When she was...this. She closed her eyes tight against the sudden welling up of tears, ducked her head to hide her face, so dumb, she was so dumb to think--shouldn’t have asked, she was too broken, all the joy and the light gone from her eyes and her smile, almost nothing left of her to want anymore, why would he? Sorry, she whispered so, so softly in her head. Sure. Just...just hold me? That was safe, right? It wasn’t asking him to do anything he didn’t already do. Just don’t let go? Maybe you could sing to me? That would be nice too. Talking to him here in her head felt the best, always made her feel so safe and warm and wrapped up in love, just like when he held her under his wing. But he had the most beautiful voice, and hearing it out loud made her ears happy, made her heart lighter, made some of the tension melt out of her body. She could listen to him sing or talk or both, all day. |