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all the beautiful conditions of a man up in flame; shiya - magnus - 12-02-2018 desire consumes me like a fire consumes me good shouldn’t need to tempt us above @[Shiya] RE: all the beautiful conditions of a man up in flame; shiya - Shiya - 12-03-2018 Deep down all you want is love The pure kind we all dream of Despair. Her life’s fuel is now her son’s name. It’s so perfect how his name mirrors the upheavals of her life, and how his birth is a somber matter for the family. What began as something beautiful spiraled in whirlwind out of control. In the Pampas, Vulgaris coddles Leliana and their children, throwing Shiya into the plagued wilderness with her - their - child. In reality, she should be accustomed to this lifestyle, but it’s more painful with the boy nestled against her side. Even now, she wonders if it would behoove them to meet their demise instead of one day facing the truth of Vulgaris and his role in this. Her mind sinks beneath the waves, into the dark depths where Pangea had fallen. Maybe she could visit there again – under the ocean – and bring her son. It could be peaceful looking up and watching the last of their air bubbles swim to the surface. They would be done then with the cruelties of the world. They would have each other forever. Shiya doesn’t realize how absently she is ruffling Despair’s mane when she hears her name. It’s the life preserve she needed to extract her from an ocean of suicidal ideations. ”Hmm?” But she is rapidly blinking away the haze of her thoughts to look at a face long lost in her memories. ”Magnus,” his voice comes unbidden to her lips like it has been only a mere few days since they last met. ”Wow, yes. So many years.” Back then, she had briefly taken interest in the Valley’s affairs, but it was short-lived. It seems she isn’t destined for life in a kingdom. But is she really meant for anything? A breath catches in her throat, surprised that he remembers both her and her parting words. It softly pulls on her heart, stirring it to patter sweetly in her chest. Shiya thought herself to be numb by now, destroyed by her lifelong torment, but the smile he ignites says otherwise. ”Ever a charmer,” a soft, tumbling laughter suppresses her previous grief, pushing it out of her mind even if only for the moment. How is it possible that he is able to return and part the looming, dark clouds of her thoughts? It’s effortless for him. Every sinking feeling retreats when their eyes lock – her emerald to his gold – but then she looks away and down at her child. ”Despair,” it almost seems like a response to her wellbeing until she elaborates, ”This is my son, Despair.” Behind her plastic smile, there is undoubtedly sadness that poisons her blood and shadows her reptilian face. Her gaze wavers, reflecting her inner conflict as she introduces the boy with a honeyed voice. Shiya glazes over Magnus’ question, referring to her son instead of admitting how poor her life has always been, and how she expects it to always be. For a long while, she steadies her attention on her son. A child should bring joy, but when she peers down there is an awful emptiness in her gut. She will hold onto him – the only foal she has nurtured – but he is a painful reminder. With a slow, contemplative blink, Shiya returns the question to Magnus. ”You look well,” she begins as her eyes lift again to his, ”How are you?” Better than me, she quietly hopes. Unlike her, however, Magnus is able to smile with his entire being. He is able to open his heart and arms. He can love and swoon and bring joy. He is everything she isn’t, or at least, that’s how she sees him whenever her eyes flicker across the storytelling edges of his face and scars along his body. He is perfect. But we cannot escape the past, so you and I will never last original html by Jassal @[magnus] RE: all the beautiful conditions of a man up in flame; shiya - magnus - 12-04-2018 desire consumes me like a fire consumes me good shouldn’t need to tempt us above @[Shiya] RE: all the beautiful conditions of a man up in flame; shiya - Shiya - 12-17-2018 Deep down all you want is love The pure kind we all dream of Shiya watches with a gleam in her viridian eyes how Magnus dips his head down to her boy. There’s an easiness in the way he confronts the two of them, addressing her as though years haven’t separated their last engagement. Despite the sorrow shackled around her ankles, Shiya manages to still smile. Even as her mind continues to swim with ideations of suicide, Magnus provides enough distraction to talk her off the ledge. His whiskey voice, husky as it has ever been, is a balm to her pain. His company gives her hope before she catches herself. Always a foolish girl. The muscles of her jaw coil beneath her taut skin as she clenches uncertainly. It would be easier to run away and avoid his warm gaze, to rip off her ears so she didn’t have to listen to the honeyed words that touch his lips. It’s so easy to fall into a spell around him, but she fights it with her entire soul because there is no such thing as true happiness, fairytale endings, or love. Friendship? She doesn’t even know the word. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she manages to sweetly thank him although she has never thought herself to look good. Maybe, perhaps when she was young she had days of feeling fierce and beautiful, but that was before she was beaten down and torn apart and a mother to rogue, defected children. That was before life destroyed her and back when she thought she could ever have a life story like mother and father. ”I suppose the plague has not yet touched you?” She is immune, but her lips do not form the confession. It would tie into a question of how, and she would be forced to admit that she helped to resurrect Pangea for Carnage. Would that make her terrible? Still a monster? There’s nothing worse or lower than where her life is now. For this reason, she almost does, in fact, tell Magnus, but something holds her back. Perhaps it’s the boy innocently peering up at her. Willing to refocus the conversation away from herself, she asks, ”With the Gates gone, where are you now?” But we cannot escape the past, so you and I will never last original html by Jassal @[magnus] RE: all the beautiful conditions of a man up in flame; shiya - magnus - 12-22-2018 desire consumes me like a fire consumes me good shouldn’t need to tempt us above @[Shiya] |