Had he been a mind reader, or had she spoken aloud or even murmured bits of her thoughts and wishes into his ears (and oh, at the memory; how he wishes for them to do that again, to be young and oblivious) - had he known, he’d tell her she had already been everything and more; alas, some thoughts are best kept to oneself.
She says she had been well, and he smiles a little. In insecurity, he wonders if that is because she had found something, someone, else to make her happy - or if perhaps the children are enough - and yet as she inquires about him he knows she cares about him at least in the same way she cares about everyone else, and he casts his eyes on her golden ones with a near-unmatched warmth, as always almost forgetting why he is here. ”There have been others,” he states almost matter-of-factly at first, hoping his voice doesn’t reveal how much he questions if she’d hate it, ”but I keep wondering what would have happened if I’d moved here instead.” he confesses directly after. There had been some of them he’d been with more or less as friends, one night to pass time together - Let, Caelestra the bear (that was the only time he’d taken a bear form), and Carwyn whom he actually cares for, though he can’t say it’s the same as with Eva. There’s no sparking fire, at least from his side, but there is a child on the way, and he figured it might be best that Eva knows that he hadn’t been sitting still in hopes of seeing her once or twice a year -
but still.
Somehow he can’t continue without some sort of approval, or defiance, from her. She’s at the back of his mind so often, that she might as well have cast a spell on him. And maybe he never found a cure because he didn’t want to.
”I eh…” looking away, his ears fall back and come back forth toward her, giving away it’s hard to say what he needs to. ”I don’t want to intrude in your life, so if you tell me to stay in the Pampas, I will.” Tail moving awkwardly then sitting perfectly still, the stallion looks to the rest of the island. Aquaria might or might not like him, he’s never completely sure about that mare’s feelings. Then there was the problem of Carwyn’s family looking for her and not finding her, and her need to return home at some point - and her apparent husband as she called him, not finding out about the new child.
And through all that, all he really wanted was to be close to Eva. Did she know?
from the ashes a fire shall be woken
@[Eva]