06-15-2017, 09:34 PM
He was both intrigued and appreciative of the way Aten intuitively seemed to understand him. So much of his life had been repeated miscommunications and misunderstandings. Because Ruan was so wild, so different. Not a diplomat or even someone who can speak easily, hold a normal conversation. Words never came easy for him. Rather, he spoke with his body, his eyes, his movement.
As wild things do.
But Aten. Aten always seemed to understand, and it surprised him. It pleased him. The former-wolf man was drawn to it, that equal understanding, and a quiet smile tilted the corner of his mouth.
The young man stepped forward, slow enough for Ruan to watch his movements, as he reached out toward little Polaris. When Aten had her scent, he pulled back, looking over her with the same sort of soft interest Ruan had for her. She was such a rare little treasure, so strange and beautiful. So unique.
He caught just a flicker of hesitation before Aten responded, reluctant to dredge up memories of family that weren't here with him, perhaps. He felt immediately guilty at that, that he'd ask such a personal question without thinking how it might affect the young man. But Aten still answered him regardless, telling of his father, his mother, his siblings that he knew of, and the sister that raised him. A pang of old hurt struck through Ruan, but he held his quiet until Aten was done.
"I am unsure if I have any younger siblings; I have not been to visit my dam lately."
Ruan wanted to ask if he'd like to, if he wanted to see his mother and family again. He hoped Aten didn't feel trapped here or obligated to stay, though Ruan would never want to lose him. Aten was his greatest addition to the Taiga, and he was infinitely glad the gold stallion had wandered in that day.
He sensed his own question was going to be reflected back at him, but once again Aten understood things he never spoke aloud; Ruan didn't speak of his family. Not as in depth as Aten had gifted him with. However, it perhaps hadn't been easy for the young man, and it wasn't easy for Ruan either, but he would answer regardless as well.
"Have you decided to take her on as one of your own? I have a feeling she'd be rather happy to have you raise her; you'd be a good father for her."
A soft smile, warm with affection, reached his black lips as his sharp, blue gaze fell to the teeny filly again. "Yes. She is mine, now," he said quietly, as if it were a vow to always protect and care for her. The compliment about being a good father was welcomed and a little painful. He'd maybe never have his own children anymore.
"Thank you," he replied anyway. He may never be a good ruler or diplomat, or even a husband ever again, but he knew he was a damn good father. Maybe that was all he was anymore. "I was also raised by my older sister," he began, looking to Aten again as he carefully opened up the wound of his past to him. "I only ever had her and my mother. They're both gone. Never knew my sire." His dam took her own life, tortured and abused for so many years and finally taking control of her life in the only way she could. He didn't know how his only sister died, only that she was dead.
Family had always meant everything to him, and he'd lost every bit of the one he'd had.
And now he was losing his own.
"I met Reagan and..." he fell quiet. His eyes dimmed with hurt, unfocused for a moment before returning to Aten again. He continued, his voice droning and carefully lacking the emotions ripping through him. "And my whole world changed. She helped discover the Taiga, and I came here with her. Had a family, adopted children. Had one of our own." He cut himself off there. Because they were gone now. He'd found her with another man, a secret he never shares, and told her not to return home. And she still hadn't. His son, his only child, was gone without a word. Some of his adopted children also left.
His only family was broken.
All he had now was Jinju. And Polaris. And Aten. Though, he wasn't a son. But Aten knew him better than his own son did, perhaps. He'd been consumed in that depression, that loss, when Aten had found him tonight. His family was gone. He wouldn't have another. He wasn't sure he could ever love anyone else.
"Do you want training, Aten?" He changed the subject, directing them to something that had been on Ruan's mind for days now. The last thing he wanted was to lose this remarkable person, but he wouldn't be able to train Aten himself and still protect their vast expanse of forest of wild-hearted beings, kindred spirits. "There is a new land.. You may be older than what they're used to, but they could train you to fight, if it's something you have an interest in." He didn't want to lose Aten, didn't want to send him away when he was as helpful at home as Jinju had been through these hard times. But he couldn't justify holding Aten back from something he might desire.
He didn't want to lose him. And he tried to keep it from his eyes when he met Aten's gaze.
As wild things do.
But Aten. Aten always seemed to understand, and it surprised him. It pleased him. The former-wolf man was drawn to it, that equal understanding, and a quiet smile tilted the corner of his mouth.
The young man stepped forward, slow enough for Ruan to watch his movements, as he reached out toward little Polaris. When Aten had her scent, he pulled back, looking over her with the same sort of soft interest Ruan had for her. She was such a rare little treasure, so strange and beautiful. So unique.
He caught just a flicker of hesitation before Aten responded, reluctant to dredge up memories of family that weren't here with him, perhaps. He felt immediately guilty at that, that he'd ask such a personal question without thinking how it might affect the young man. But Aten still answered him regardless, telling of his father, his mother, his siblings that he knew of, and the sister that raised him. A pang of old hurt struck through Ruan, but he held his quiet until Aten was done.
"I am unsure if I have any younger siblings; I have not been to visit my dam lately."
Ruan wanted to ask if he'd like to, if he wanted to see his mother and family again. He hoped Aten didn't feel trapped here or obligated to stay, though Ruan would never want to lose him. Aten was his greatest addition to the Taiga, and he was infinitely glad the gold stallion had wandered in that day.
He sensed his own question was going to be reflected back at him, but once again Aten understood things he never spoke aloud; Ruan didn't speak of his family. Not as in depth as Aten had gifted him with. However, it perhaps hadn't been easy for the young man, and it wasn't easy for Ruan either, but he would answer regardless as well.
"Have you decided to take her on as one of your own? I have a feeling she'd be rather happy to have you raise her; you'd be a good father for her."
A soft smile, warm with affection, reached his black lips as his sharp, blue gaze fell to the teeny filly again. "Yes. She is mine, now," he said quietly, as if it were a vow to always protect and care for her. The compliment about being a good father was welcomed and a little painful. He'd maybe never have his own children anymore.
"Thank you," he replied anyway. He may never be a good ruler or diplomat, or even a husband ever again, but he knew he was a damn good father. Maybe that was all he was anymore. "I was also raised by my older sister," he began, looking to Aten again as he carefully opened up the wound of his past to him. "I only ever had her and my mother. They're both gone. Never knew my sire." His dam took her own life, tortured and abused for so many years and finally taking control of her life in the only way she could. He didn't know how his only sister died, only that she was dead.
Family had always meant everything to him, and he'd lost every bit of the one he'd had.
And now he was losing his own.
"I met Reagan and..." he fell quiet. His eyes dimmed with hurt, unfocused for a moment before returning to Aten again. He continued, his voice droning and carefully lacking the emotions ripping through him. "And my whole world changed. She helped discover the Taiga, and I came here with her. Had a family, adopted children. Had one of our own." He cut himself off there. Because they were gone now. He'd found her with another man, a secret he never shares, and told her not to return home. And she still hadn't. His son, his only child, was gone without a word. Some of his adopted children also left.
His only family was broken.
All he had now was Jinju. And Polaris. And Aten. Though, he wasn't a son. But Aten knew him better than his own son did, perhaps. He'd been consumed in that depression, that loss, when Aten had found him tonight. His family was gone. He wouldn't have another. He wasn't sure he could ever love anyone else.
"Do you want training, Aten?" He changed the subject, directing them to something that had been on Ruan's mind for days now. The last thing he wanted was to lose this remarkable person, but he wouldn't be able to train Aten himself and still protect their vast expanse of forest of wild-hearted beings, kindred spirits. "There is a new land.. You may be older than what they're used to, but they could train you to fight, if it's something you have an interest in." He didn't want to lose Aten, didn't want to send him away when he was as helpful at home as Jinju had been through these hard times. But he couldn't justify holding Aten back from something he might desire.
He didn't want to lose him. And he tried to keep it from his eyes when he met Aten's gaze.
sorry, still playing catchup, haha! And it got really long, sorry! D;
