His memory was slotted. Sorted. Organized in a way he hadn't prepared himself for.
This was where he took her to Ischia.
No, wait.
She asked his name, and that's the name he gave. Ischia. He set her free from him before he did something terrible. And she came for him. She learned his name, saw his home, lay in his bed. He'd only known one way of loving until he met her-- No, that wasn't true.
Wasn't there another?
But his memory was slotted.
He was only two again, only holding a strange girl he found in the meadow.
But he wasn't in the meadow right now.
He frowned. Why did he feel like he loved her so damn much then? If he just met her? Why did she look older than just a breath ago? Why did he ache so completely with her lying here next to him? Why did he wish she'd wake and tell him she loves him. Just one more damn time.
An illusion. The magician was still training him. It must be that. Was he failing? His head was spinning. But she was here. And partly, that was all that seemed to matter. Except... Doesn't he..
Her breathing changed subtly, murmured and hushed words. Incoherent to him until she said his name, and he looked down, studied her. She continued, not that he understood any of it, and he might've forgotten something...
She looked kind of sick, didn't she? He thought so. She didn't used to look like that. Five minutes ago. Or had it been longer? His head hurt and something wasn't right. His eyes pinched shut, shuddered the lazy light of the late sun. Goddamn, his head fuckin hurt! Where the fuck was Cerva.
"Heartfire?"
His voice was strained, and he reached out for her. But he found a different body, one that did not smell at all like Heartfire. Or Cerva. Or Atrani.
Atrani.
He jolted to his feet and his gaze flew around. Where the fuck was she!?
"ATRANI!" he roared, searching for her.
Leliana knew. She was with her uncle. That fuckin bastard took his daughter. His last piece of Cerva, his whole goddamn heart. His reason for fuckin breathing.
But goddamn it, the second his eyes dropped to Leliana's body he broke. Fuck, he'd killed her. Just like Cerva. He was instantly crying, throwing himself down beside her, pressing against her and sobbing openly. "Fuck! I told you not to heal me! Why'd you fuckin heal me!" Oh my god, he killed her. He fuckin killed her. "Why'd you fuckin heal me.. Goddamn it, Leliana, I told you it was too much!" He clung to her desperately, brushing tears all over her beautiful body, completely unheeded and unashamed. Fuck, he lost her. He finally killed her. He'd tried so fuckin hard to set her free, to stay away.
Run, Love.
I'm the truth that you're afraid of.
@[vulgaris]
@[Heartfire]
wingin it.
