Anyone, birthing;

[despair]

i could dig myself out of the loneliest of graves for you, could be taken down like a dog that got itself a mouthful of blood and liked the taste, could give myself up belly-up. crane toward you like a heliotrope in the sun.

Despair is new enough to this world that he does not fear the dark edges of his mother’s voice. After all, this is the voice he slept to while he was still safely curled up within her womb, the only voice he knows of yet. Every breath is the sound of safety to him and he knows that he belongs at her side right now, bundled tight to her warmth and love. It takes little to fill his belly for now and so he returns to her face quickly, eager to listen once more as she speaks to him with carefully calculated words. Love. Her voice goes soft around this word and it makes him feel fuzzy inside.

“Love you,” he parrots, smiling up at her still. But then she grows serious and concerned, dimming his bright expression as she explains that there is someone looking for them. His little head nods slowly as he tries to memorize her words. Similar to her, but he wants to hurt them? The first flower of fear blooms black within him and his legs tremble despite having found their footing. He swallows the lump forming in his throat as tears begin to swell within his shimmering eyes. He presses tight to her chest for comfort and buries his face against her.

Find me, she says, and Despair begins to associate her with safety and protection now. Shiya uses words that claim possession over him and, foolish boy that he is, he believes that these are the phrases of a mother. Some day he might realize that this is a slow poison meant to consume and corrupt him, but today is not that day, so he remains nestled snug to her.

“Protect me,” he mumbles weakly against her skin as he looks up at her, his guardian angel with sharp teeth and predator eyes. He wonders why this evil stranger might look like her but he doesn’t think to ask. His trust in her is all encompassing enough that her word is more than enough for him to believe in everything she says. Meanwhile, little scales have developed along his spine and they stand on end like a puff adder, terrified and threatened.

here is the field in my heart that bears your name. here is the whole country, aching and tender,
i named after you. here is my whole entire heart.

@[Shiya]