"No," she said, softly at first in almost a whimper. But there was so much more in her and he pushed harder to find it. She was so much stronger than she was perceived. Only the strongest could do what she does. She put herself through it day after day, withstood the pain in herself and focused on her family no matter what it took. She became what everyone else needed of her and never did a damn thing for herself.
"No," she got firmer. "No!" She pushed against him and he relented, leaning back and panting, still scowling at her as he listened. "No, you don't get to lecture me. You don't get to talk down to me." His heart pinched and swelled as he watched her, as if he could see a withered and weak flower suddenly bloom alive again. She was perfect, why couldn't she see it?
A ghost of a smile barely shaded his mouth as she continued, held there even under the attack of her words. His eyes were tired and he didn't hide the hurt he felt at everything she said. He deserved it, they both knew it. He deserved all of it and more. If only he could take it from her, feel all that pain so she didn't have to. So he took it like a well-deserved beating, hoping that it somehow eased hers even a little.
She fell quiet, drained and sinking down in the water with him, their legs folded and soaking. His hair was matted and clinging wetly to his bone faceguard and neck. He just watched her, his sides heaving from the exertion. The sickness and fight drained his energy too, though he remained where he was to reserve what was left of it. Just in case he needed it.
"I thought I could find it. I thought I had found it."
"You won't find it without me," he murmured under his breath, the sound of water drowning it out as he shifted near enough to reach out and brush away the trail of tears left on her cheek. He sighed and let his head drift down into the shallow waves, pillowed into a bed of loamy sand. Exhausted. Resting.
"You wanna talk about us? We can talk about us. Because you got it all wrong, Leliana. You've always been enough. You'll always be enough. You got it all wrong."
we're slaves to any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit but we love it too much
