09-13-2016, 08:12 PM
Life—it had felt so simple once.
It had become sort of a puzzle to her though. A puzzle that became too big to put together despite the many times she tried to get all the pieces in their places. It seemed every time she got to the last few pieces there would be more. The puzzle became more complex and larger. The pieces shaped into something else, something that did not quite fit together.
But she, years ago, began to understand that everything was linked together in this so-called life. It is what has made her so curious about the world and that all it entails. She wanted to know everything, old and new, good and wicked. And it is the very reason she stands here before the gift-giver; the monster she is beginning to feel like is her father.
<I> “What do you need to change?”</I> He asks, and she’s not very pleased about the question. It’s too much for her to answer because she isn’t quite sure what she needs to change. Well, she does know parts and pieces of who she is and wants to be but that’s about all she knows. “I don’t know really,” she says honestly, “I just know I don’t want to be the person I was that let go easily of everything I had.” She doesn’t want to see the things she loves and cares about to be gone—taken advantage of again.
She looks at him with disappointment when he tells her that she surrenders too easily and also doubts too easily. However, it was the truth. Lucrezia did surrender herself into the doubtful thoughts of her mind. She overthought much of the over, looking for the underlying motives in even the simplest of things. It had never been uncommon for her to lose sleep, asking herself why someone did what they did, what it might, and what to do about it. Sometimes it was for the greater things though, such as her home and family. She is very sensitive and cares deeply for about others.
Her eyes then narrow when he tells her she must’ve deserved everything she has lost. Lucrezia was not stupid though, she saw the crocodile smile – the one her father often gave her when he lied and pushed her to do things. “No.” She says firmly to him, cutting him off when she talks about his wing and set of curved horns. “I didn’t deserve what I lost.”<I>I didn’t deserve any of this that has happened to me,</i> she thinks to herself.
“I did everything that I was told to do. I listened to what my father wanted me to be and did as I was told to do when I went to the Deserts. I did it for all of them, but they did nothing for me. They broke all their promises.” She huffs, her voice becomes louder and she becomes angrier as she speaks. “It’s their fault all of this happened. I became who I am now because of them.” She hates them. She hates her father. She hates her sister.
It had become sort of a puzzle to her though. A puzzle that became too big to put together despite the many times she tried to get all the pieces in their places. It seemed every time she got to the last few pieces there would be more. The puzzle became more complex and larger. The pieces shaped into something else, something that did not quite fit together.
But she, years ago, began to understand that everything was linked together in this so-called life. It is what has made her so curious about the world and that all it entails. She wanted to know everything, old and new, good and wicked. And it is the very reason she stands here before the gift-giver; the monster she is beginning to feel like is her father.
<I> “What do you need to change?”</I> He asks, and she’s not very pleased about the question. It’s too much for her to answer because she isn’t quite sure what she needs to change. Well, she does know parts and pieces of who she is and wants to be but that’s about all she knows. “I don’t know really,” she says honestly, “I just know I don’t want to be the person I was that let go easily of everything I had.” She doesn’t want to see the things she loves and cares about to be gone—taken advantage of again.
She looks at him with disappointment when he tells her that she surrenders too easily and also doubts too easily. However, it was the truth. Lucrezia did surrender herself into the doubtful thoughts of her mind. She overthought much of the over, looking for the underlying motives in even the simplest of things. It had never been uncommon for her to lose sleep, asking herself why someone did what they did, what it might, and what to do about it. Sometimes it was for the greater things though, such as her home and family. She is very sensitive and cares deeply for about others.
Her eyes then narrow when he tells her she must’ve deserved everything she has lost. Lucrezia was not stupid though, she saw the crocodile smile – the one her father often gave her when he lied and pushed her to do things. “No.” She says firmly to him, cutting him off when she talks about his wing and set of curved horns. “I didn’t deserve what I lost.”<I>I didn’t deserve any of this that has happened to me,</i> she thinks to herself.
“I did everything that I was told to do. I listened to what my father wanted me to be and did as I was told to do when I went to the Deserts. I did it for all of them, but they did nothing for me. They broke all their promises.” She huffs, her voice becomes louder and she becomes angrier as she speaks. “It’s their fault all of this happened. I became who I am now because of them.” She hates them. She hates her father. She hates her sister.
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