09-16-2016, 08:14 PM
Magnus’s quiet laugh draws a smile out of me, coaxing my lips to curve upwards despite the lingering sorrow weighing me down. “If it were not for Noctem, I think I would envy you that. It is...difficult, to tread the line between worlds. To have so many others’ thoughts echoing so loudly in your head. This is the first time I feel...comfortable in my skin. It’s always been so dissonant, painful even, and now…” I look around, giving myself a moment to process the vast difference in how my senses function.
“It’s odd. I feel...as though I’m missing senses. But at the same time, the ones that work feel...more concrete. More tangible. For the first time, I only see what is physically here in front of me, only hear the sounds audible to my ears instead of picking up all sorts of static and extra noise. So it’s...it’s nice. But at the same time, so...naked. So stark, missing all the nuance, and of course there’s...well, Noctem. I think if it weren’t for missing him, I might even prefer this.” To be able to function normally in this world, that’s something I never thought I’d experience.
At the same time...it hurts to be without him. Magnus’s softly spoken wish that I find my way back to him has my heart aching with a fierce yearning that it could be so. Oh, someday soon, if only. “I hope so too,” I murmur quietly, letting that ache wash over me instead of drowning me. “Well you have certainly helped me today, Magnus. And I am very grateful for it.”
If he were family, I would curl up against him, rub my cheek against his shoulder, let out a quiet sigh against his skin, and expect him to wrap me up in an embrace. I’m not so familiar with the social rules for new acquaintances, and don’t have the quiet tug of intuition guiding me to tell me how much of that fits the situation. So I step closer and just brush the velvet softness of my nose against his shoulder in quiet gratitude. Hopefully that is at least not overstepping too far. “Thank you for your kindness.”
“It’s odd. I feel...as though I’m missing senses. But at the same time, the ones that work feel...more concrete. More tangible. For the first time, I only see what is physically here in front of me, only hear the sounds audible to my ears instead of picking up all sorts of static and extra noise. So it’s...it’s nice. But at the same time, so...naked. So stark, missing all the nuance, and of course there’s...well, Noctem. I think if it weren’t for missing him, I might even prefer this.” To be able to function normally in this world, that’s something I never thought I’d experience.
At the same time...it hurts to be without him. Magnus’s softly spoken wish that I find my way back to him has my heart aching with a fierce yearning that it could be so. Oh, someday soon, if only. “I hope so too,” I murmur quietly, letting that ache wash over me instead of drowning me. “Well you have certainly helped me today, Magnus. And I am very grateful for it.”
If he were family, I would curl up against him, rub my cheek against his shoulder, let out a quiet sigh against his skin, and expect him to wrap me up in an embrace. I’m not so familiar with the social rules for new acquaintances, and don’t have the quiet tug of intuition guiding me to tell me how much of that fits the situation. So I step closer and just brush the velvet softness of my nose against his shoulder in quiet gratitude. Hopefully that is at least not overstepping too far. “Thank you for your kindness.”