Before they even left the meadow, he knew he'd need to stop. Knew he would need to rest, so he could take them home. Take her home.
Stay a while, Atrani, he breathed softly into her hair. There is something I must do first. And then we will go home. He'd hovered, making sure there were no obstacles around her to trip and harm her, making sure there were no others near enough to find her before he returned. I will be as quick as I can. He pulled her to his chest, tucked her in close and embraced her. Listen for your mother, he wanted to say, but held it in. He wasn't sure why.
Then he'd left her. Found that place in the meadow where he'd first set eyes on Leliana. He thought he might have dreamt that she was there too. Or perhaps she had been. But rest did not join him, even there. And he'd had to claim it the only other way he knew how.
When he'd returned to Atrani, his breath shallow from a fractured rib and a gash above his eye, he'd been coated in blood that had blanketed him when he finally slept; some was his, most wasn't. He still was, as they walked, as they ghosted through the lands until they finally reached the sandbar to Ischia. He kept her at his side, walking slow and steady. But Cerva's hoofbeats never neared them. Maybe she just needed longer. Maybe he should go back for her once Atrani was home and safe. No, he wouldn't leave her alone; maybe they would both go back in the morning. Or give Cerva a day first.
He was uncertain now, when he'd always been so confident.
Confidently at Cerva's side.
He shook his head, pushed the thoughts away. They slowed to a stop at the lip of the ocean. The sandbar that led to the island stretched before them, and he nudged her onto it before him, steadying her. This is a path through the sea. It is dangerous, so never try to cross it without me. He guided her carefully to the left side of it until the water licked at her little feet, and then the right, showing her how narrow it was before falling in place behind her.
You will know it one day, but for now only walk. I won't let you fall. I will never let you fall.
He was solemn. Numb. And they walked the rest of the way in silence, only the rush and whisper of the sea in their ears. Night was falling, but only he could see it. A painful truth, that he had broken her before she was even born. That he'd already damaged her, like everything else he touched.
They didn't stop until he was guiding her into the darkness of home, a shallow hollow in the rock with vines hanging across the entrance like a camouflage. It no longer smelled like Leliana, a scent long lost in time's passage. How long had it been? At least a month, he supposed. Maybe two. But he pushed those thoughts away too. Only Atrani.
He left her there a moment without a word, stepping to the spring just outside and dropping himself within. The chilled current brushed against him, swept away the layer of blood -some his, most wasn't. He lay motionless a while, letting the spring system pump the filthy water away and replace with fresh again. Finally, he shook off and returned to her.
Rest, he said, settling before the opening so she couldn't wake up and wander out without his careful eye. Then he fell quiet, and watched her. How long would he wait until he searched for Cerva? Maybe he wouldn't have to.
Stay a while, Atrani, he breathed softly into her hair. There is something I must do first. And then we will go home. He'd hovered, making sure there were no obstacles around her to trip and harm her, making sure there were no others near enough to find her before he returned. I will be as quick as I can. He pulled her to his chest, tucked her in close and embraced her. Listen for your mother, he wanted to say, but held it in. He wasn't sure why.
Then he'd left her. Found that place in the meadow where he'd first set eyes on Leliana. He thought he might have dreamt that she was there too. Or perhaps she had been. But rest did not join him, even there. And he'd had to claim it the only other way he knew how.
When he'd returned to Atrani, his breath shallow from a fractured rib and a gash above his eye, he'd been coated in blood that had blanketed him when he finally slept; some was his, most wasn't. He still was, as they walked, as they ghosted through the lands until they finally reached the sandbar to Ischia. He kept her at his side, walking slow and steady. But Cerva's hoofbeats never neared them. Maybe she just needed longer. Maybe he should go back for her once Atrani was home and safe. No, he wouldn't leave her alone; maybe they would both go back in the morning. Or give Cerva a day first.
He was uncertain now, when he'd always been so confident.
Confidently at Cerva's side.
He shook his head, pushed the thoughts away. They slowed to a stop at the lip of the ocean. The sandbar that led to the island stretched before them, and he nudged her onto it before him, steadying her. This is a path through the sea. It is dangerous, so never try to cross it without me. He guided her carefully to the left side of it until the water licked at her little feet, and then the right, showing her how narrow it was before falling in place behind her.
You will know it one day, but for now only walk. I won't let you fall. I will never let you fall.
He was solemn. Numb. And they walked the rest of the way in silence, only the rush and whisper of the sea in their ears. Night was falling, but only he could see it. A painful truth, that he had broken her before she was even born. That he'd already damaged her, like everything else he touched.
They didn't stop until he was guiding her into the darkness of home, a shallow hollow in the rock with vines hanging across the entrance like a camouflage. It no longer smelled like Leliana, a scent long lost in time's passage. How long had it been? At least a month, he supposed. Maybe two. But he pushed those thoughts away too. Only Atrani.
He left her there a moment without a word, stepping to the spring just outside and dropping himself within. The chilled current brushed against him, swept away the layer of blood -some his, most wasn't. He lay motionless a while, letting the spring system pump the filthy water away and replace with fresh again. Finally, he shook off and returned to her.
Rest, he said, settling before the opening so she couldn't wake up and wander out without his careful eye. Then he fell quiet, and watched her. How long would he wait until he searched for Cerva? Maybe he wouldn't have to.
@[Atrani]
