» Innocence is always unsuspicious «
My world had been turned on its head twice over now. Chem leaving me in a manner that confused and hurt my heart, then my dear brother never showed up at Tundra. That was enough disruption for quite a while in the my eyes, but the quakes… oh how that changed everything. I had hid away in the far corner of beqanna, tried to avoid stay safe, but the fae pulled me to the mountain like everyone else. But after the announcement was made I left and returned to my corner of solitude. My reddish brown coat ashy from the high dust in the air. I stayed there for a long time, waiting for the courage, for healing. I wasn’t ready to join the world. I hadn’t mourned the life I had lost before going to Tundra let alone the loss of everything I had ever known.
But the time had made me realize that the solitude was no way of living, and if Vaughan knew I had hidden myself away for all this time he would have drug me out by my ear tufts. I knew it was time to go… but I hadn’t a clue where. Chamber, Falls, and Chem’s herd lands were the only places I ever knew. I didn’t know where to go now, but a new life, a new family was something I would just have to build from the bottom up. Something that would take time, and it would start in the field, where her father had been recruited to both Gates and Chamber. Now the new lands were looking for members, and I would start over with one of them. It was just a matter of time until someone came to me, and until someone gave me the opportunity. I just keep telling myself- baby steps.
I never imagined life would be like this. There was so much to learn still, and I feel behind in life. I know there is more to it than what I’ve known. When will I feel like I’m really living? When will I know when I have found the right place? I don’t think I can keep jumping from place to place. I don’t think I know how to be “unattached.” My whole life had been attached; to Vaughan, to Chem, to mother. This just can’t be it.
The field was as it always was, or how I believed it always was. I haven’t been here enough to know one way or another. Other horses were scattered about and conversations were being held randomly throughout. Some came, some went, others lingered and watched. I was the latter, I watched from the tree line, the spring breeze pulling me in, but my body didn’t move. Baby steps. I watched as the clear sky slowly changed, as clouds grouped and rearranged to the wind’s will. Conversations started and ended and still a watched, it was what I knew, I had watched my life over the past few years, I hadn’t partaken.
I closed my eyes tight and took in the crisp air, I had to stop being a passenger in my own life. I knew it had to change, and when I opened my eyes my legs had moved, I had left the outskirts, and entered the field. Ok, yeah I knew I had moved, but it’s my story to tell. I walked around and picked up on bits of conversation, obviously nothing she felt she could join in on, but it was interesting to hear what others discussed, especially after years of self- imposed confinement. Vaughan came to mind, he always did, he would have loved this kind of thing, he would have made a game out of it so that I wouldn’t stress so much. I sighed and let the thought go. I had to do this for myself, and I was. I just had to wait for the right opportunity to come along. Trust your gut. Yes, that is what Vaughan would say, maybe Kimber too. I stopped in the throngs of the field, a part of the action and obviously ready… or more so wanting. My russet frame looked bright against the blue sky and the wind licked at my mane and tail…. And I? I was ready….I hope.
Vessel
Kimber x Nymphetamine
OOC: I tried to get her started back in September but life wasn't ready to let me, let's try this again. I revamped an old post, so sorry if it's familiar to you. But I promise after the second paragraph it is all new.