06-20-2017, 05:03 PM
tangerine
face to the sun
Threw the mist she can just make out an approaching dark form. Her already pounding heart pounds a little harder and she takes a gulp of air as the form becomes Warrick.
He is a picture of calm and passivity, (even if he does look a little dejected, or is it just awkward?) and that sooths her. To Tang, the only thing worse than not finding him would be to feel his fury. If he were angry with her, it would be so different from the Warrick she knew, she wouldn’t know how to act. But he isn’t angry, he touches her gold cheek gently and her gaze lingers on his frown, afraid to meet his eyes.
Now that he is here, what does she expect? She hadn’t thought that far when she had left the group in Hyaline, she had only been furiously intent on finding Warrick. And now she had found him, or he had found her, and her mind is reeling. “I don’t love Amet.” She could whisper, but it’s not true.
And she won’t lie to him.
But his deep and voice rescues her from any rash words, and as he speaks she can’t help but let he eyes drift to meet the familiar comfort of his. “I know you,” He says, his words on shaking ground.
There has been too much left unsaid between them, the secrets which she had never meant to keep made her feel dull. Tang didn’t want to think sex, denied or given could drive a wedge between their friendship. She wants him to understand, she aches to be understood. And his words make her feel as if she knows her unfathomably well.
She melts into him as he pulls them together.
She takes a deep breath, drawing courage from the nearness of his body supporting hers and hers supporting his. With her head resting on his withers, she finds the words come easier.
“I don’t know what I am, Warrick.” She admits, dropping her filter and searching for the truth. “But I know that you, your soul, is loved by mine.” Even though he can’t see it, she smiles a little hearing the words out loud – the confession she hasn’t known she had been aching until the truth fell from her lips.
But her contentment is fleeting. She would feel dishonest if she stopped there. She pauses, and her ribs seem to be growing tighter and smaller like a cage around her heat. She doesn’t want to say it but she must, he doesn’t deserve half-truths. The tension is crackling electricity in her throat. “I cannot promise you anything.” She whispers because she hates the sound of those words. She hates the way they seem to devalue what she had said before. But she wants no mysteries left hanging in the air, and she needs to be truthful. “I will understand, if you need someone… Who will be yours, and only yours.” She forces the words out into the fog and squeezes her eyes shut.
I will understand if you go.
“But, you will always be mine, even if you went to the stars tonight, you would always be with me.”
In that moment, her heat is fully his. But she can not promise beyond that moment, so she does not tell him. When they look back on this meeting, two hearts glowing in the gloom, she will not accuse herself of manipulating him.
She was unusually self-aware for someone her age- It was something her mother had fostered in her. Be true to yourself. We’re not words simply spoken, they were modeled daily. Continuity between her life and her heart were paramount. And no matter how much it would shatter her to lose Warrick, she would not sacrifice a part of herself to be with anyone.
Her own emotions are tearing her apart. She waits for tempest or tender touch, knowing her happiness will be decided with his next move.
“Let’s always tell each other the truth.”
Don't go.
All the feels @[Warrick]