She welcomed it. Of course she did, she always would. But he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. He could lose Dad if he found out. Dad would be so pissed. Maybe he’d even be mad at Kylin, too. Kharon definitely didn’t want that. And yet he kissed her. And she kissed back. And in her mind, she begged for more, made him hum with anticipation. Even still, he murmured that he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this. He really shouldn't. And she was breaking away with a gasp for air, and that hazy look of satisfaction in her eyes.
Gone so quickly with his words though. So, so swiftly replaced with hurt and hopelessness. Afraid he meant it, that they wouldn’t do this anymore. He did mean it, though, didn’t he? Dad would be so pissed. What if he separated them? Or even kicked him out? She shook her head in denial, determined to keep this, and pressed her lips to his again. His eyes closed instantly and he kissed her back. It was just so natural to do it. But then he was the one to break away this time, picking up her thoughts as he did.
You can. We can. We belong together, I want us to be together.
He groaned, shaking his head with tears starting in his eyes. I can’t, Kylin. I can’t You don’t understand. His head turned away, but he remained pressed to her side, needing at least that much while his heart broke. I don’t want to be like grandfather. He was a terrible person. He’s the one that took our home from us. He spared her a pained glance, his hurt slipping wetly down his cheeks. I’m NOT like him. I won’t be anything like him, I won’t! I can’t, he added in a whisper.
He tried to reach for her, tried to stroke his lips along her neck, his favorite thing to do. Hesitant. Afraid she would be the one to turn from him this time.. I don't know a way to make this okay. I've tried, I've spent so long trying to think of ways. And I can't. His mouth fell away from her skin, his eyes falling too. Hurting, wishing things were different. Wishing he knew a way to make this work and still be.. not him.