opals and onions; insignificance

[americus]

Americus is closer to the river now; close enough to see the sheer blue of it spread between the riverbanks like an open vein. It beckons, but not for long drinks to slake one’s thirst or for lazy swims to cool the skin. It beckons in blue flashes of brilliance that hurt her eyes so that she has to shut them against the river and the sunlight that bounces off of it. She’d rather close her eyes than risk staring at it and going blind. Not that it mattered much to her either way, she’d seen enough of the world to have tired of it long before she ended up back here in the familiar and the now. That’s all she feels of late - tired. Exhaustion so deep in her bones that it has replaced the marrow within. Somehow she is still capable of movement and thought but she thinks she ought not to be. Not now, not like this with the scent of someone familiar on the air to tease her old mind back to a life it hadn’t ever really known. But she could not lie to herself - there had been a zest in her bones then, enough of it anyway, in the brown mare’s company. The scent teases her, tries to muster more from her - enough to open her eyes to that dazzle of sunlight blue before her that sparkles. Sparkles were never hers. Not bits of whimsy and imagination. Not even in the innocence of childhood that her mother tried to provide her as best as that wayward mare could have. Somehow, she had stepped wrong and become this creature haggard of heart and bone-weary except for that singular bright spot in her life when she’d met Insignificance. The bond of blandness perhaps had been the thing that made them look upon one another in instant recognition and Americus can summon that moment with a rare fondness that fills her heart until the surge of the blue river in her ears drowns out the thump of that meaty muscle. Time, she thinks, is not kind enough to restore that to me. To give her back to me;  but that smell! It lingers. Seems to fester in her nostrils until it overpowers the smell of silt and river and at last, Americus turns her head and lo! She is there! Tall and lean, the same as ever and disbelief if the first emotion to find the mare’s face. She cannot believe her ears either! Betrayers that take in the sound of her name borne on a breath and later, a laugh that sounds broken and part-sob of what might have been relief. Time is not this kind to them. It cannot be! But her nose acts separate from rational thought - some other signal relayed through synapse and nerve that makes her nose move independent of Americus. Out it reaches, for a sniff that proves it to be thus - this is her, returned and thus, resplendent! Her mouth nudges open just a bit to allow one croak of a word to escape it, “Insignificance.” and there is so much more to it than being just a name. It is a hallowed affirmation of affirmation of a friendship that has stood the test of time. Belief and relief mingle on her face, smooth over some of the sharper edges found there. Smooth it just enough for a smile to rise to the surface and the sparkles on the top of the river seem to enter her eyes. “Insignificance.” she murmurs again, just to say it - just to confirm it.