12-21-2017, 06:06 PM
Old. We have both become old. It is the first thing that comes to my mind as I stare at her, and I am overwhelmed with this new revelation. It should not come as a surprise, the years have been snatched away from under my nose by the cunning thief that is time. I have spent a near lifetime wandering -and I am both restless and weary, between two homes, and living in a third, melancholy and seemingly powerless. I shift, dodging the feeble rays of light, that the setting sun casts, to keep a hold on the world - in vain. I try to keep my breath rhythmic, I will my wildly beating heart into calmness and I would nip the hairs of my shoulder if I could - if only to reassure myself that the apparition that is Americus is in fact real and not a trick of a broken, tired mind. But my name on her lips hold the sweet tang of familiarity. Home, home, home
My memories press close, and my regrets - closer. My heart beats erratically and I shake my blunt head to rid myself of reminiscing. I grow impatient with my regrets. I grow impatient with my past. The foggy unknown of my future. The present is where I belong, with this rare, precious gift fate has bestowed upon me. Here, at the end of my journey. A fairer fate I would not dream of. My mud-brown muzzle is pressed gently against her shoulder, reveling in the scent of her. The scent of familiarity and security and laughter in rain. In quiet nights spent only in the wake of stars. Hers is the scent of summer. Of wildflowers and nettles and burrs and a thousand other mundane things that I once held so precious.
Is this what time has saved for me? A short respite from loneliness and harsh travels - to spend my last days in the company of my oldest friend. There are so many things I would like to tell her, so many questions to ask - but I don´t. Content for now to just linger by her side, we still have time, age may have caught up with us. But I am not about to throw it in just yet.
"You are still here" I mumble into the sleek fur of that shoulder.
What I want to say is I won´t leave you ever again.