Darkness is needed for light to shine - any

[Nuage]

so come on, let it go. just let it be.
why don't you be you and i'll be me?

If tears hadn’t wet his eyes before, they surely do now. Not only did Leilan make pretty clear that he should not expect Nihlus to return, he also mentions that Nihlus’ parents were wanders just like him. It tells him two things; one) Leilan did truly know Nihlus, and two) his words were most likely to be true because of it.

”No,” he manages to get out curtly, shaking his head as he tries to deny the thoughts in his head. It cannot be true. Nuage refuses. And yet, Leilan has planted the seed in his mind. ”He.. he promised..” Or had he made that promise up in his head, when he had dreamed of their night together. His lower lip is between his teeth, of which he is oblivious, as Nu tries to fight the chaos in his head and the tears wetting his eyes.

He is so lost and busy with his inner tumult, that he does not notice Leilan crossing the distance between them. The gentle touch upon his shoulder is met with a gasp and a violent jerk of his body as lifts his head to look through his eyelashes. Then he shudders, and Nuage glances away, unable to hold Leilan’s gaze.

Leilan’s words contradict the offered comfort. How can he not worry? And shit, it stings even more to learn he wasn’t the only one? Did Leilan know? Did the silver bay male know how many there had been before him? Had he been there to offer support – or humor them – all once it was clear Nihlus wouldn’t come back? A shake breath escapes past his pale blue lips, and his eyes squeeze shut as he tries to fight the tears that now threaten to fall.

”T-there were o..others?” Unconsciously he finds himself leaning into the touch, searching for the comfort that he so desperately needs. Comfort, support and care he had needed, needed from the moment Nihlus had been gone. Before he had been okay on his own, yes a dreamer and high headed, but he had managed. Had been happy too. But Nihlus had turned Nuage’s word upside down, sparked something within him, and opened a whole new world. Then left him.

When Leilan pulls away, Nuage loses his footing. Stumbling after the touch, needing more of it, though it is not Leilan he longs for. Shit, hold yourself together Nu. He was really fucked up. Weak, pathetic, and so, so miserable. This wasn’t him. But fuck, he is a mess.

Slowly he bends his neck, glancing up at Leilan through his lashes. His eyes are still wet, but thankfully he had been able to prevent the tears from falling. How pathetic would that have been? In front of a stranger. A stranger that fucking knew the stallion that had caused his state. And he probably knew damn well what had happened between the two of them. And shit, that was not okay. Was it?

”And you?” his voice is hoarser than he likes it to be, and it cracks to even though he only manages to get two words out. Would Leilan keep wandering and leave too?

nuage

Sorry for the plosion :|