[private] Out with the golden we sew // Solace

[Kagerus]

kagerus

and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times

She's there to hold me as the gentle world I'd built for her crumbles down because of my own weaknesses. Though no one has seen this side of me, I know that no other would stand strong in the wake of my violent, self destructive tendencies and thoughts. No one except her, Solace - my refuge, my strength, my love. Her lips against the race of my pulse just at the latch of my pulse regrounds me, returns me to the reality of our situation - even as we stand in a disillusioned dream.

When I have cried my last, her wing is around me, pulling my broken pieces back together - and I can't even find it within myself to care that it had been her who'd broken them. Because, as her beautiful cerulean eyes meet mine with the trustworthy steadfastness, I know that she didn't mean it. She hadn't known the depths of my feelings for her - or, perhaps more truthfully, the depths of her feelings for me.

For a moment, I'm scared that she's angry that I have reached out to her beloved father without asking her permission - but then she is reiterating her confusion with the only words I want to hear, ever: I love you. And it's as if a coolness washes over me from head to hoof, clearing the vapours of my hysteria and allowing my lungs to breathe again. There's a smile on my lips, tremulous, but certain.

Oh, I gasp, as the air is knocked out of my lungs. I guess there are three more words that I'm equally happy to hear - ones that bring tears back to my eyes, though they are clearly happy ones now. "I want you too, Solace," comes my shaky voice, but she beats me to the proclamations of love and promise. Despite our unusual beginning, despite my suicide attempt, despite her pregnancy, despite our unspoken love that has blossomed rather publicly this last year: we are here. And she is professing her love for me - speaking of a family. Of our children.

It's too good to be true - but I refuse to let reality taint the sweetness of this dream, that only minutes ago had been a nightmare.

"Our children," I whisper with upturned brows and a smile that speaks millions of feelings that words will never be able to. I watch as she presses her lips to my son's brow, and suddenly I too am stepping forward. With a shaky inhale, I press my nose to her stomach, closing my eyes and dreaming that I see the child within, the our noses touch, too --

Except I dream of two children, not one.

Startled and giddy, I jolt back from her stomach, lips spread to tell her the good news - but she is musing to herself, with a tone that stops me dead in my tracks. What's going on...?

The Queens of Hyaline.

--

As the dawn breaks across the peak of Hyaline's tallest mountain, the Queens awake in each other's embrace. Shadows of the human-world cling to their sweat-moist skin, and the smell of love is upon them with a ferocity that the gods themselves may envy. There is laughter, and kisses, and wistful hopes spoken aloud about what their plans are for the kingdom. Their kingdom. Though they are fragmented and unorthodox, and yes, bound to suffer more than they shall find peace, in these hours, they are happy enough to make up for a life time of pain.

Oh, and Kagerus tells Solace about the twins - that came as a shock, by god.

I couldn't help giving this a cute wrap up post <3