07-03-2018, 10:47 PM
 I V A R promising everything i do not mean |
“Well,” Ivar says, once he has hacked the seawater and bile from where it clung uncomfortably to his chest. “That was fucking terrible.” Below him, the sea shifts from midnight blue to black and back again, always with the clear moon overhead in a thousand shattered reflections. There are far too many emotions swirling in the kelpie for him to say anything more. He was never meant to feel most of them, but he finds the sensation of drowning to be the worst of them all. The sensation of water rushing into his lungs, burning at them in a way that was even worse than the hot sulphur water off Tephra’s shore. It was like the water didn’t belong, like there was something unnatural about being able to survive both in water and air. The feeling of drowning was terrifying. For a moment, there seems to be a possibility of moral clarity for the sea creature, but it passes in the half-second it takes to blink away the salt from his eyes. For all Ivar's past actions, for all the crimes he’s committed beneath the sea: he’s never made any of them fearful. Drowning was never painful, not with the kelpie. Yet Kagerus’ version of it lingers still in the sourness at the back of his tongue and in the scowl that the blue and gold creature wears across his scaled forehead. “I definitely like my dreams better,” he says to his shifting reflection, glancing up to meet the spotted mare’s gaze before he adds: “You probably would too.” While Ivar hadn’t recognized the champagne stallion that blue-haired Solace had melted into, he isn’t really interested in his identity. Someone from her past, he assumes; maybe from her present. He reaches out to press his muzzle briefly against her side, and while Ivar is biologically incapable of true innocence, the touch is short-lived and seemingly without agenda. “Do you want to forget that?” He asks, swallowing around the last bit of rawness in his throat. Ivar isn’t quite sure what he’s referring to - the stallion? the water? the emotions she’d felt? the memory of dreaming with him at all? - but he does’t need that much information. Forgetting is forgetting, after all. He doesn’t find any necessity in differentiating the types. In the same way he’s made Kylin forget her death he might command Kagerus to forget. It wouldn’t work forever (minds are too complex for such a simple fix), but it would for a while. |
I know my lies could not make you believe in my dark times, baby this is all I could be . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |