She can't get the thought out of her head, much as she'd like to. It's so easy to flow back into his embrace, to return to his side as though no time had passed at all. Was this not what she had been imagining all this time? Small conversations just like this, discussing their boys with pride and worry. The burden of life lightened and shared between them. Shoulder to shoulder, could she forget his absence and pretend that time had not flown by?
She inhaled, filled her lungs with the bitter, masculine scent that clung to his skin. His husky voice explained and cautioned, described some of his experience with the beast within. And then the topic turned to the other, less concerning twin. He was yet one more example of how life rejected fairness. "Ah yes, Raul. He's sweet, and older than he should be. And completely traitless, as far as I can tell. He's shown no extraordinary talents, unless you count keeping his brother in line." She wasn't fully certain that that ability wasn't supernatural, to be perfectly frank.
He should know this.
He should. This was absolute and utter basic knowledge about their foals. This was information she had known since they'd been born, and now he was finding it out nearly two years later. Ice dripped down her spine, and simultaneously she felt suddenly too warm. Hot, and not in the way she was used to with him. I would love to meet them His words wash over her bringing with them realization. Perhaps her forgiveness would not be as immediate as she had thought. She was not a perfect mother. She had missed a lot. But she knew her son's faces, their quirks and their tempers. She knew that even now they slept nose to tail, tight as they had lain within her. He didn't.
Mercurially, her happiness bled away like rainfall in the desert. She had to stop away, put from the shelter of his wing. Her flank felt cold where he had been. She longed to press back against him immediately, but knew she couldn't. Not yet. "I want you to meet them. It's long over due. Cas, I love you. But I can't... I have to be better than this, for them. Come with me, and meet them. I'll allow them to make up their own minds. But you need to know this. I've gotten quite good at being on my own." Her gaze was crystalline as she stood close to the willow grove, searching his face for some mysterious answer. Abandonment was nothing new to her. While she usually brought it on herself, it wasn't a new sensation. But her boys, their boys, hadn't deserved it. They had her, and their pseudo uncle, a host of cousins and playmates. They were not lacking in family, and she was made proud daily by them. Still. A father was not something easily replaced.
SABRA
I'm Hell on Heels, Say What You Will
@[Castile] She loves him. She just needs to be mad for a bit...