[mature] the everlasting ghost of what once was - kagerus - private

[Kagerus]

Kagerus

{ and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times }

She says to forget, but the pain that radiates across the flat of my face says otherwise; even more profoundly than that, the deep sense of peace and security I feel at knowing she will be with me forever makes sure that I don't forget. I will never forget the way her voice lilts when she says she loves me, and I will never forget the way her lips and tongue make my fingers curl into our bedsheets; I'll never forget getting to be by her side while she brought our children into this world, and I'll never forget sleepy mornings in our grotto, full of family and love and contentedness.

I will never forget, because now, I don't have to fear that I ever will.

When I pull away, a coolness comes between us, followed by her bitterly spat words; but they quickly fall by the wayside, replaced by the exhausted peacefulness that I know she also feels in her breast. My mouth opens and reaches for her to come back to me, wordless and needy; but her dark humor makes my own lips curl up, momentarily forgetting their sultry intentions as a pained laugh reverberates through me.

"I hope that's not the only thing you intend on fucking."

The humor gradually fades from our girlish laughter, and I find myself pressed face to face with my lover, breathless and wondersome and hoping that maybe, just maybe, this will be the last time we find a happy ending to a bad story. We deserve contendedness. We deserve forever.

As our breathing slows and our hearts find a harmonious rhythm to beat to, my mind briefly goes over the events of the past week: Vulgaris and Magnus and the Mountain. My stomach nearly turns itself inside out at these memories, but a mindless kiss from Solace sends any bad feelings I had quickly away. I question for a moment where Panthera might be, but then forget I'd ever worried; in the embrace of my lover, all those questions and worries fall to the wayside.

There is only here.
And now.
And forever.

When next I speak, it is a haze of half-sleep, ardor and wonder and love heavy on my tongue.

"I hope I get to be your girl forever, Solace. You're the light of my life. I will never love anyone as much as I love you.

And I want you to know that there's nothing you could do that could make me love you less." I pull away, consider her immense beauty, lose myself in her cerulean eyes. "Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing."

@[Solace] hi sorry for this weird awful mess of horniness and gushy love bullshit