Let me apologize to begin with...
She’s way too good me, and I know I don’t deserve her. I don’t know why she still wants me to be family after everything, but I do know I want it so badly too. We even could’ve been a family once, if the stars had never returned. But how could I expect her to take on that burden too? How could I expect her to keep me around, when I’m such a liability to everything and everyone she might love?
Someday maybe she would understand. Someday maybe she would ask me to leave. It would break every piece of me, but I could never blame her if she did.
“Of course I don’t want to spend my life out here alone,” I whisper, pressing my face into her shoulder. “I never did it for me.” That last is barely audible, my mouth pressed against her skin as I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t really expect her understand that part though. Her life and safety had always been so much more important.
But I’m weak. So goddamned weak. What she offers sounds so incredible, and my stupid lonely heart wants it so bad. To hell with the consequences. I shouldn’t. I’d been strong once. But time and loneliness had eaten away at that strength, and I knew I could never say no. I breath out a shuddering sigh. Breath in, inhaling her scent, her familiarity. “I want that so much.”
It’s an incredible fantasy, one I want to live with every fiber of my being. But my fear still makes me add, “But what if I hurt you? What if I hurt someone else?”
Moment
accident-prone son of Offspring and Lirren