New life stumbles and catches before her very eyes: the knobby knees as they shake, the bony skull as it bumps to thick flesh, the tiny mouth as it learns of its need to be alive. Once autonomous, Jude realizes that the catch in her throat is the little piece of herself that she refuses to release: her sovereignty. If she truly cares for, protects, and raises this child, she is responsible for one other than herself.
(Deep down she knows of the darkest truth: this, she cannot control - what will she be if she fails?)
Eyes closed, riding the sweet and tired hum of a new mother, she wishes she could enjoy the moment in all of its sincerity. She is sitting in her wistfulness when she hears Magnus’ approach (knowing it is him by the smell - and the faint inkling that he would never allow such an important event go unprotected). As her eyes flutter open, Magnus draws close. Her name falls on deaf ears as she leans her weight into his welcoming side. The kisses to her jaw are welcome, and for a moment, she allows herself vulnerability. Magnus speaks as she lays her head to his neck, allowing what just happened to completely resonate before responding.
“She’s perfect. I only wish I knew what I was I doing,” the mildest of irritation laces presumptuously into her words. It is true: she has no idea how to be a mother; she’s still uncertain if she even wants this child, and now she has not one, but two. At her core, she does not want to lash out at Magnus - perhaps he’ll understand her youth.
Just edging on the age of four, she is dipping a toe into wisdom, but still has so much growth to do.
A draping Myrkari interrupts Jude’s passing thoughts: her pale eyes curious and her voice high as she reaches to touch Magnus’ flat cheek with a single talon. The avian babe’s interruption brings Cosmos from Jude’s teat, legs spindly and fragile as they stumble toward a spot below the other child. Instead of stopping her children, she watches with amusement the chaos that is sure to ensue.
Cosmos chirps back the last word of Myrkari’s ramblings: “Big! Big big! Big!” The white and pink babe lurches up and falls head first into Magnus’ front legs. Once the newborn settles down, Jude peers back at her little bird, affection expanding in her chest at the peculiar sight.
“Magnus, this is Myrkari. I found her . . .” at this, the pegasus trails off, realizing she had left Tephra while pregnant without telling another soul. “Uh, yeah, I found her wandering covered blood so - I took her in.”
@[magnus] @[Myrkari] sorry if this is riddled with typos, i was sleepy while writing