11-11-2018, 02:33 PM
Ugh, her little man was the cutest damn thing, wasn’t he? Dizzy fussed over him and lipped at him and snuggled the hell out of him, so fuckin’ proud of her sassy little imp. And it melted her heart how damn cute him and his daddy were together.
Ugh, fuck, this was what it should’ve been like last time. She should’ve melted all over her little girls, fussed and doted and loved on them and gotten so caught up in their little sassy little grins, their twinkly eyes, their mischief and their cozy baby snuggles. She should’ve breathed in the scent of baby on their skin and fallen head over heels in love with them.
They deserved so much better than the broken girl she’d been. Maybe it wasn’t too late to fix it.
Dov looked at her with those tired eyes, black rimmed in weary red, and she reached out and brushed her lips against his cheek. “Soon, love,” she said softly, lingering against his skin and nuzzling him. “We’ll find a safe place soon. I have to find the girls.” She blushed, pulled back and ducked her head.
“I...oh. Should tell you. The--the baby. Was two. Girls. One’s…” She bit her lip and glanced up at him, not quite sure how to tell him. But he loved Defy so damn much, maybe he’d want to know. Hadn’t seemed like it when they talked last, but… “yours,” she finished softly, eyes locked on his face to catch every fleeting expression.
“I...she doesn’t know yet. I was gonna introduce you when...well, when you came back to...see me,” and those last two words were whispered as her face fell a little. She bit the corner of her lip, her gaze dropping to the ground. He’d promised to come back for her, to come home to her, and...and the days had stretched into months, had stretched into a year. “I...didn’t handle things well. Think…”
She wrapped Defy up in a little hug, draping her neck over him and tucking her chin against his side. “I had a really hard time with being a mom. Fucked a lot of things up. Broke Zor’s heart, ‘cause I haven’t been...we’re not...together. I know you said to go fix thing with him, but...I don’t want him like that. Told you I’m all yours and I meant it, apparently. Unless you don't--”
Unless you don’t want me. Fuck, and why would he after everything? After how badly she’d failed his daughter, after that fucking monster--nope. Breathe. Deep slow breaths don’t put that on him. She closed her eyes and pushed it all down, pushed it all away and just breathed and held her baby boy and tried not to remember all the reasons Dov might not wanna touch her anymore.
Shit. So much for being less broken. “Anyhow,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes. “I have to find the girls first.” And Zor too, she supposed, though hopefully they were together. “Then we can make our way to one of the safe places.”
Ugh, fuck, this was what it should’ve been like last time. She should’ve melted all over her little girls, fussed and doted and loved on them and gotten so caught up in their little sassy little grins, their twinkly eyes, their mischief and their cozy baby snuggles. She should’ve breathed in the scent of baby on their skin and fallen head over heels in love with them.
They deserved so much better than the broken girl she’d been. Maybe it wasn’t too late to fix it.
Dov looked at her with those tired eyes, black rimmed in weary red, and she reached out and brushed her lips against his cheek. “Soon, love,” she said softly, lingering against his skin and nuzzling him. “We’ll find a safe place soon. I have to find the girls.” She blushed, pulled back and ducked her head.
“I...oh. Should tell you. The--the baby. Was two. Girls. One’s…” She bit her lip and glanced up at him, not quite sure how to tell him. But he loved Defy so damn much, maybe he’d want to know. Hadn’t seemed like it when they talked last, but… “yours,” she finished softly, eyes locked on his face to catch every fleeting expression.
“I...she doesn’t know yet. I was gonna introduce you when...well, when you came back to...see me,” and those last two words were whispered as her face fell a little. She bit the corner of her lip, her gaze dropping to the ground. He’d promised to come back for her, to come home to her, and...and the days had stretched into months, had stretched into a year. “I...didn’t handle things well. Think…”
She wrapped Defy up in a little hug, draping her neck over him and tucking her chin against his side. “I had a really hard time with being a mom. Fucked a lot of things up. Broke Zor’s heart, ‘cause I haven’t been...we’re not...together. I know you said to go fix thing with him, but...I don’t want him like that. Told you I’m all yours and I meant it, apparently. Unless you don't--”
Unless you don’t want me. Fuck, and why would he after everything? After how badly she’d failed his daughter, after that fucking monster--nope. Breathe. Deep slow breaths don’t put that on him. She closed her eyes and pushed it all down, pushed it all away and just breathed and held her baby boy and tried not to remember all the reasons Dov might not wanna touch her anymore.
Shit. So much for being less broken. “Anyhow,” she whispered, not meeting his eyes. “I have to find the girls first.” And Zor too, she supposed, though hopefully they were together. “Then we can make our way to one of the safe places.”