Anyone, birthing;

[despair]

i could dig myself out of the loneliest of graves for you, could be taken down like a dog that got itself a mouthful of blood and liked the taste, could give myself up belly-up. crane toward you like a heliotrope in the sun.

All at once, his world goes from warm and black to alarmingly cold and blinding. He cries weakly at the abrupt change and blinks his eyes open, squinting up at the face of his mother as she examines him. Despair sneezes and coughs, continues to mewl as she speaks with words he doesn’t yet comprehend. The only thing he’s certain of is that her voice is familiar and she smells like safety, and so the little bud of his heart begins to blossom around her. He smiles up at her dumbly even as she scans their surroundings for any imagined threats. His tiny ears swivel forward when she speaks again. It’s all a foreign language to him still, but he tries to understand her.

His doe eyes observe as she stands and he tries to emulate her movements, though his legs wobble the moment he tries to get up. He wobbles back and forth, sways from side to side as he stumbles closer to her. Her lips are soft and doting when they find his face and he smiles once more, so content to simply be with her right now. ‘You will bring heartache,’ she says and he stares up at her in wonder. Are these words important? Should he memorize them? Despair. He clings to the word and sounds it out with his newborn mouth.

“D-des… Despair,” he repeats, eyes locked on her for approval or rejection, his entire being hinging on her love for him.

His tiny fluff of tail flicks excitedly when she kisses him before he nuzzles against her cheek so sweetly. Her pointed teeth and serpent eyes have already been carved so perfectly into his memory. For him, the cruel shape of her face is the image of love already. Though he doesn’t mean to, his eyes flicker to mimic hers before resuming their equine pupils.

“Protect!” he repeats with a confident nod, and laughs before carefully stepping closer to nurse from her. For now, he is a kind child whose world revolves solely around her and her acceptance of him. He does not know the bitter circumstances of his birth nor of his conception, but in the coming days he will surely begin to realize he has a father out there somewhere. Will he look for him? Better yet, will Vulgaris hunt him? These questions, for him, remain unasked for now.

here is the field in my heart that bears your name. here is the whole country, aching and tender,
i named after you. here is my whole entire heart.

@[Shiya]