12-06-2018, 09:39 PM
Mourning. Is this what mourning felt like? She hadn't fully known it yet, as far as she could remember. A lie actually--she hadn't allowed herself to feel it yet. Not fully, not in this lifetime.
Caught in the shadows of all the light around her, trapped in a sadness desperate to know how things could have worked out differently, regretful of choices both made and unmade. This had to be what it felt like to mourn the loss of a life, even it had been doomed to be a life unlived. Not only for her, but for her lover, her children, all of her Nerinian family. Even beyond the borders to their Allies and the nomadic. Lives that could have been threaded so differently had the plague never struck and caused an upheaval of unrest and dismantling of the structure throughout Beqanna.
There was nothing she could change the situation, she knew this, but all the same, it was nice to silently delve into the loss of what could have been, to let the small foundation she held herself up with crumble and recede. It would only be temporary, this falter in her emotion and purposeful vulnerability, it had to be temporary. For her sake and, more importantly, for the others.
Someone had caught her in temporary solitude. Only mildly aware of the blue laced silhouette that drew up beside her, she continued with her distant stare. It wouldn't be until her present company spoke in familiarity that she would turn a warming sideways glance her way
She doesn't question the knowledge in Heartfire's statement, marginally aware of the visionary abilities she possessed, though its magnitude was largely still unknown to her. Very simply, she smiles in acknowledgment. It was true, she had been busy and something she had thought on often. Though doubt and concern always accompanied such wonderings. Was it enough? Would it ever be enough?
"How have you been?"
@[Heartfire]
Caught in the shadows of all the light around her, trapped in a sadness desperate to know how things could have worked out differently, regretful of choices both made and unmade. This had to be what it felt like to mourn the loss of a life, even it had been doomed to be a life unlived. Not only for her, but for her lover, her children, all of her Nerinian family. Even beyond the borders to their Allies and the nomadic. Lives that could have been threaded so differently had the plague never struck and caused an upheaval of unrest and dismantling of the structure throughout Beqanna.
There was nothing she could change the situation, she knew this, but all the same, it was nice to silently delve into the loss of what could have been, to let the small foundation she held herself up with crumble and recede. It would only be temporary, this falter in her emotion and purposeful vulnerability, it had to be temporary. For her sake and, more importantly, for the others.
Someone had caught her in temporary solitude. Only mildly aware of the blue laced silhouette that drew up beside her, she continued with her distant stare. It wouldn't be until her present company spoke in familiarity that she would turn a warming sideways glance her way
She doesn't question the knowledge in Heartfire's statement, marginally aware of the visionary abilities she possessed, though its magnitude was largely still unknown to her. Very simply, she smiles in acknowledgment. It was true, she had been busy and something she had thought on often. Though doubt and concern always accompanied such wonderings. Was it enough? Would it ever be enough?
"How have you been?"
@[Heartfire]