[private] ruan, soldat

[Ruan]

ruan

Let us go for a run when they're asleep, Ruan.

He stared back at her, assuming the boy likely thought something of him and now he was caught. He wasn't meant to watch them alone right now anyway. It was hard to control and he was doing the best he could. Even if he knew that it wasn't enough. He could've hurt them, and still might unintentionally. So he nodded once and let his eyes return to his daughter.

She was real now, stirring beside him without his thought. A soft smile briefly ghosted his mouth, grateful that Bright had pulled her in here as well where he could continue holding her until the boy slept.

The moment Ruan spoke again, asking when she would be returning, she wiped the words from existence. He frowned but fell silent. Soon, though, she hoped. He hoped too.

It wasn't long under the spell of her singing that little Rian finally drifted to sleep in his mother's arms. Polaris was already asleep, still sleeping as in the waking world, and he shifted carefully to his feet. With a few last soft touches, he tucked her in beside Rian, letting them share each other's warmth, then turned to lead them away from the children.

I don't feel like running tonight, he told her, his voice hollow. His magic was wild and raging in him, but he was tired. Tired of so many things. He didn't want anything right now but peace, which was a foolish fantasy. There would never be peace for him again.

I can't do this alone as I normally do. I am failing them. Being a single parent was nothing new to him, but he'd been far more stable. He was still managing, barely, and he would continue to try, as always. It just wouldn't be enough, was all.