And just like that, everything was different.
Different had been following me, curling against my heels like a persistent tide and promising me soon, soon. But I hadn't expected it, not like this. Not thrown into my face when I'd only been seeking distraction. I'd left her standing there, walking away as fast as I could without losing what remained of my dignity. The pretty lights bled together through the tears that had begun to gather in my eyes the moment I turned away.
I was alone again.
Stumbling through the crowd, breaking against it with too-quick breaths, hearing whispers of the recent news. By the time I'd stumbled into a less crowded zone, the words sank in. He was here. Of course he was. And he was... a success. The success I'd always known he'd held inside himself, even when I got too angry to say it.
Away from it all, I had to get away. Wings clutched to my sides in a desperate embrace, I moved without seeing. Crashed into a solid wall. Screamed in surprise, bit it back quickly. "Forgive me, I wasn't looking... where I was... going." Fuck.
Panting lightly, I blinked hard, trying to pretend that tears didn't track down my face. That my voice hadn't dwindled to a thread when I recognized the patterned skin I'd run full-tilt into, or the scent (brimstone and blood laced with her), or the shape of him. My eyes fell shut for a moment, a hundred excuses flickering through my mind only to be discarded. A thought from before reiterated itself; this was a mistake.
Teeth gritting against each other, I willed a mask of silk and steel across my features, head lifted higher but still not quite making eye contact. "Castile. I didn't know you'd be here." My voice came out, steadier than I'd thought it would be, holding his name on my tongue like something forbidden. Pulling my wings closer about myself, I gestured back the way I'd come from.
"There's a mare looking for you. Suki or Sochi, or some such." I paused, nearly choking on the name. Still, there was no accusation in my tone. Just level diplomacy interrupted by the occasional traitorous hiccup. "She seems..." I reached desperately for some moderately pleasant descriptor but came up empty, leaving the half-made sense hanging on uneven breath.
Biting my lip, I cast my gaze back in his direction, looking past his shoulder into the empty darkness. The abruptness of our last meeting weighed on me, driving guilt through my belly with hungry claws. Healed past what should have been natural, the jagged bite mark on my crest was now nothing more than a silvery scar, only a little raised from the surrounding flesh. Still, it tingled with acute awareness now, a token of my lack of wisdom.
Shrugging lightly, my vision spun upward, looking everywhere, anywhere, but at him. The stars began to blur again, the cowards. "I was hoping I'd get the chance. To say how sorry I was, for pushing you. I wasn't being fair. You deserved- deserve, better. And it looks like... I'm happy you've found it." I willed the lie from my tongue, forcing it past my lips on stubbornness alone. I wanted to mean it. I really did.
@[Castile] my hand slipped
Different had been following me, curling against my heels like a persistent tide and promising me soon, soon. But I hadn't expected it, not like this. Not thrown into my face when I'd only been seeking distraction. I'd left her standing there, walking away as fast as I could without losing what remained of my dignity. The pretty lights bled together through the tears that had begun to gather in my eyes the moment I turned away.
I was alone again.
Stumbling through the crowd, breaking against it with too-quick breaths, hearing whispers of the recent news. By the time I'd stumbled into a less crowded zone, the words sank in. He was here. Of course he was. And he was... a success. The success I'd always known he'd held inside himself, even when I got too angry to say it.
Away from it all, I had to get away. Wings clutched to my sides in a desperate embrace, I moved without seeing. Crashed into a solid wall. Screamed in surprise, bit it back quickly. "Forgive me, I wasn't looking... where I was... going." Fuck.
Panting lightly, I blinked hard, trying to pretend that tears didn't track down my face. That my voice hadn't dwindled to a thread when I recognized the patterned skin I'd run full-tilt into, or the scent (brimstone and blood laced with her), or the shape of him. My eyes fell shut for a moment, a hundred excuses flickering through my mind only to be discarded. A thought from before reiterated itself; this was a mistake.
Teeth gritting against each other, I willed a mask of silk and steel across my features, head lifted higher but still not quite making eye contact. "Castile. I didn't know you'd be here." My voice came out, steadier than I'd thought it would be, holding his name on my tongue like something forbidden. Pulling my wings closer about myself, I gestured back the way I'd come from.
"There's a mare looking for you. Suki or Sochi, or some such." I paused, nearly choking on the name. Still, there was no accusation in my tone. Just level diplomacy interrupted by the occasional traitorous hiccup. "She seems..." I reached desperately for some moderately pleasant descriptor but came up empty, leaving the half-made sense hanging on uneven breath.
Biting my lip, I cast my gaze back in his direction, looking past his shoulder into the empty darkness. The abruptness of our last meeting weighed on me, driving guilt through my belly with hungry claws. Healed past what should have been natural, the jagged bite mark on my crest was now nothing more than a silvery scar, only a little raised from the surrounding flesh. Still, it tingled with acute awareness now, a token of my lack of wisdom.
Shrugging lightly, my vision spun upward, looking everywhere, anywhere, but at him. The stars began to blur again, the cowards. "I was hoping I'd get the chance. To say how sorry I was, for pushing you. I wasn't being fair. You deserved- deserve, better. And it looks like... I'm happy you've found it." I willed the lie from my tongue, forcing it past my lips on stubbornness alone. I wanted to mean it. I really did.
@[Castile] my hand slipped