07-16-2015, 10:31 PM
and i whisper, are you listening? liquid concrete under our feet Hello darkness my old friend. Fog. Smoke and mirrors. It had enveloped her for weeks...months...years. Parts of the past rang solid in her head, others seemed like mere illusions. Wisps of an idea or memory that she couldn't separate between fact and fiction. It had been like this for so long now, she merely accepted it. Besides, she didn't really want to remember. The love she had lost. The power and respect she had inspired from so many. The name of the predator that had made her lose it all when it had seemed she would spin the trauma to her advantage. Instead she just disappeared. Like her mother had. Like her father had when he buckled under the pressure to rule a frozen wasteland. She had failed as well. It didn't sting as much as it might have done to others. The guilt didn't weigh heavy on her shoulders. Disappointment? A bit but then again... The memories couldn't materialize the way she thought they would. She was either a therapists dream or nightmare, having buried so much deep down. Why deal with it when you can simply forget it? So forget it she did and as she forgot about Beqanna, Beqanna forgot about her. So why was she standing here at her birthplace, hanging beneath the burnt foliage of a tree that had been scorched by summers heat? Closing her golden eyes as she breathed in the familiarity of the place... The boy of stone that had roamed this meadow as her only company and broke her heart on top of it. The place where she had returned (always returning here in rebirth) only to forge into the tangled green of the jungle to find her destiny. She had a purpose there once. It had been lost when she had been swallowed by the vines, the shame of what Lion had done eating at her proud heart and even larger ego. For months they would spot jaguar spots and think she had returned only to be disappointed when the actual large cat showed itself. Then they would see spots but turn their back, knowing better. That was her fault and she owned it. Another rose to the occasion and succeeded where she had not and life moved on. She was ok with that. It’s why she had come back. As the soft grasses brushed against her hocks, she breathed deeply and shifted ever so slightly so that her jaguar dappled spots glistened golden in the sun across the rest of her dark body. There were a few more scars that showed where life had led her but other than that, she looked much the same. Ageless in a sense as it seemed life went on pause when she left only to have the clock start ticking the moment her hooves hit the dirt of her homeland. The minutes passed and she simply waited, knowing how this place had served her in the past and trusting it completely with her future. The Jaguar of Fire & Brimstone |