In silence she always lapsed in to the white and almost imperceptible drone of the earth, imagined solar radiation. She could close her eyes and forget anything else in the metronomic melody of expansion, stars devouring their cores in the centuries-long race to eventuality. Here she often imagined things beyond comprehension, a mind that curled in and out on itself a thousand times over when she was alone, thoughts connected with the turning ease of the removed. When she left the silence she was surrounded by billions and yet alone in a way that had no resolution, sitting cross-legged on the other side of a gulf created not by her isolation or deformity, but by a fundamental differing of biology and time.
There was a time this brought her misery, her parent's choice of name a cruel mockery of her sentence. But she had let it go. She should never have lived as long as she had with her condition, and she'd chosen to accept it as proof she was meant for something greater - even if that greater was quiet and out of the sun.
Anhe noticed the half step backwards but wasn't offended - they are prey animals after all, following ancient instinct to stay out of harm's way. "Am I-- oh, yes!" she answers, realizing what the younger mare means. "It's not bad today at all, I almost forgot actually." She finishes with a laugh, which probably seemed strange considering her predicament. But Anhedonia had been living with her skin for so long that a sore on her face and chest felt like relief: high enough to avoid the slip of grass against open wounds, and felt only if she moved faster than the gentle walk she'd used to approach the golden girl. A good day indeed. "I was born this way, my skin doesn't work properly and I get wounds easily. I'm not contagious though," she said in reassurance, addressing what worried most who ended up near her. "I'm Anhedonia."
She listened to the description of Lilli and frowned. Much had changed since Anhedonia had been born - the world had been filled with magic, with horses sporting incredible coat colors and animals as friends. But a chestnut with blue eyes... "I'm sorry, I saw several chestnuts today and none looking at flowers that I remember. There's a patch of cyclamen that's been growing despite the cold on the east side of the meadow - we could check there?"
The girl could easily refuse the monstrous stranger, Anehdonia knew that. Her willingness to help search for someone completely unknown to her was probably troubling, but all Anhe wanted was to help. To do something good. And she couldn't abide the worried look on the golden girl's face.
Anhedonia
through all the shallow rifts i had to wade,
this could have become my darkest hour.
enough of days living in the shade.
@[Elaina]