It is irrational, the parts of her that hunger for a friendship with Heartfire. It is irrational to want for such things when so much goes between them unspoken—so many half-truths and misunderstandings. But there are still pieces of her that desire such things. Desire her approval like the young girl she had been the first time that they had met. Desire her friendship and her wisdom. Things she will likely never have.
These things never reach her tongue though and instead she watches quietly.
Both of them, observing the other with varying degrees of cautiousness.
“My position?” she echoes with some surprise, a queer sense of being judged creeping underneath her skin. Perhaps she is simply sensitive to Heartfire’s observations and she does her best to quell it quickly, to rein her emotions in so that she can remain impassive and calm as they navigate these waters.
“After the attack on Tephra, I went to Castile to try and negotiate a truce—to claim responsibility for my part in the war. To find a way forward.” She no longer tries to hide her cards from Heartfire, knowing that it was a futile thing to attempt in the long run. “He had no desire for such a thing. I will not be attempting any offensive attack, Heartfire, but should war come to my shores again, I will not stand by.”
Her hazel eyes begin to glow as she speaks, even though her voice is measured. The pale green and gold of them bleeding away to reveal the molten magma of her magic—the power of it swelling in her breast at the thought of protecting her home, at the threat that she had previously been forced to face.
But she closes them, taking a deep breath, and when they open again, they are their normal hazel.
“I appreciate that you have not abandoned us,” the word feels slippery on her tongue and she finds that she dislikes the placement of it—dislikes feeling as though an alliance was Heartfire and Heartfire’s alone to abandon—but she dismisses such feelings. Reminds herself of the need for politics and alliance
“One of my kingdom, Jakub, let me know that Taiga is now with Wolfbane and Lepis.” She doesn’t try to obfuscate her concern here and she meets the mare’s blue eyes. “I had needed to come see you anyway, but you can understand why I felt the need to come sooner—the concern such a thing would cause.”
it's only you and me there until the darkness calls
let's face the dawn together; we'll brave whatever comes
@[Heartfire]