09-17-2019, 04:48 AM
Ilma
One night I will be the moon
hanging over you
One night I will be a star
follow where you are
hanging over you
One night I will be a star
follow where you are
We will always be on opposite sides, he said. That was his excuse not to warn her, to keep going even though he knew he’d destroy her in the process. So set in the thought that she was against him, he hadn’t even bothered to ask.
She’d denied it at the time, claimed there were no two sides, for she would have stayed in her grey area perfectly had he not pulled the world from under her feet. But he kept telling her that if she had tried to change anything at all in the path he’d chosen, she would have been against him.
Truth is, he underestimated her. Still did after they talked.
What if she really was against him?
During that same conversation, she found that whatever she had thought he could offer her - a different voice that reasonably explained to her why this or that violent action was a necessary evil - he could not. Because he refused to be reasonable with her, in a way. He refused to explain anything at all because in his mind, bending just a tiny bit was giving in, showing the world his weak side.
Wrong.
We’re both ambitious. They’d talked about Litotes back then, but she had known that between the lines he meant her, as well.
Wrong, so wrong.
The only ambition she had was to collaborate and he’d refused. But she knew more leaders than just him. The meadow was the peaceful home she wanted and needed, this was true. But that could not keep her from learning facts, from making decisions, from helping others find their way.
He’d mentioned it so casually. Wolfbane has taken Taiga for Loess.
That was something she already knew, but she also already knew it wasn’t really Wolfbane, nor was it probably (she could not entirely exclude the possibility) Castile’s idea to begin with. What they’d done, the three of them - peacefully or forcefully didn’t matter - was an invasion. Ilma had explained to Lepis long ago that even if an act didn’t involve violence, it was still an act of war. Back then it had only been a steal - a diplomat’s warfare. This was no different. This was Lepis’ act of war.
She could not entirely blame Castile for wanting to retaliate when Leliana in her magical-power-surge had attacked first. She could not blame him for banishing Sinner and Mary either. But invading, and conquering, of a land that had been neutral towards the invaders so far: that’s where Ilma personally drew a line. The fact that he didn’t, perhaps indeed placed them on opposite sides.
In the end, she comes because she knows that she will. At some point, she will have convinced herself that she wants to interfere in some way - even if she has been stripped of her home and her title. At some point, she finds out that the collaboration she always sought cannot be found in the friend who dropped her like a baby giraffe because it didn’t suit him at the time that she might have a voice. At some point, she will realize that her would-be friend betrayed her, and can no longer be trusted. Certainly not with ruling half the world or conquering all of it.
And so she comes to aid the kingdom where her daughter grew up, in what little way she can. Perhaps she can only confirm what is already known, however, she refuses to sit still when the world threatens to burn in its entirety.
She comes by air, over the seas, far away from sight from the Taigan shore, and lands in the north-east - Ilma notes the stark contrast that her white body and sunlight wings make against the dark grey rocks and sands, and knows she will be found easily.
She calls softly. After all, a loud voice is not needed, when one knows beforehand where the Nerinian queen will be at a certain point in time.
She’d denied it at the time, claimed there were no two sides, for she would have stayed in her grey area perfectly had he not pulled the world from under her feet. But he kept telling her that if she had tried to change anything at all in the path he’d chosen, she would have been against him.
Truth is, he underestimated her. Still did after they talked.
What if she really was against him?
During that same conversation, she found that whatever she had thought he could offer her - a different voice that reasonably explained to her why this or that violent action was a necessary evil - he could not. Because he refused to be reasonable with her, in a way. He refused to explain anything at all because in his mind, bending just a tiny bit was giving in, showing the world his weak side.
Wrong.
We’re both ambitious. They’d talked about Litotes back then, but she had known that between the lines he meant her, as well.
Wrong, so wrong.
The only ambition she had was to collaborate and he’d refused. But she knew more leaders than just him. The meadow was the peaceful home she wanted and needed, this was true. But that could not keep her from learning facts, from making decisions, from helping others find their way.
He’d mentioned it so casually. Wolfbane has taken Taiga for Loess.
That was something she already knew, but she also already knew it wasn’t really Wolfbane, nor was it probably (she could not entirely exclude the possibility) Castile’s idea to begin with. What they’d done, the three of them - peacefully or forcefully didn’t matter - was an invasion. Ilma had explained to Lepis long ago that even if an act didn’t involve violence, it was still an act of war. Back then it had only been a steal - a diplomat’s warfare. This was no different. This was Lepis’ act of war.
She could not entirely blame Castile for wanting to retaliate when Leliana in her magical-power-surge had attacked first. She could not blame him for banishing Sinner and Mary either. But invading, and conquering, of a land that had been neutral towards the invaders so far: that’s where Ilma personally drew a line. The fact that he didn’t, perhaps indeed placed them on opposite sides.
In the end, she comes because she knows that she will. At some point, she will have convinced herself that she wants to interfere in some way - even if she has been stripped of her home and her title. At some point, she finds out that the collaboration she always sought cannot be found in the friend who dropped her like a baby giraffe because it didn’t suit him at the time that she might have a voice. At some point, she will realize that her would-be friend betrayed her, and can no longer be trusted. Certainly not with ruling half the world or conquering all of it.
And so she comes to aid the kingdom where her daughter grew up, in what little way she can. Perhaps she can only confirm what is already known, however, she refuses to sit still when the world threatens to burn in its entirety.
She comes by air, over the seas, far away from sight from the Taigan shore, and lands in the north-east - Ilma notes the stark contrast that her white body and sunlight wings make against the dark grey rocks and sands, and knows she will be found easily.
She calls softly. After all, a loud voice is not needed, when one knows beforehand where the Nerinian queen will be at a certain point in time.
Hurry, the sun is waking
Darling, don't leave me waiting
Darling, don't leave me waiting
@[Heartfire]
Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time