cold in the violence after the war
hope is a fire to keep us warm
She laughs at Lilli’s teasing rejoinder, a vibrant sound filled with genuine mirth. Wrinkling her nose, she playfully nips at the chestnut mare again. “Just imagine if I wasn’t!”
It’s easy to see the love and happiness that shines from her friend’s expressive features. It’s a heartwarming sight, but also wrenching in so many ways. It inspires memories of her own youth. Of the love and warmth of her own family. Of the inevitable ache of their absence. For all that she bore pain so stoically, that is something much worse than the physical hurt that ails her. The not knowing what had happened or where they are. Understanding how completely alone she had become in this world.
And perhaps that’s why she clings so tightly to those she has left. One small way she can battle the guilt that plagues her. It’s foolish to feel guilty over something she could not have forseen or controlled. But then, emotions are so very rarely logical.
She buries it deep though, a hidden ache she would never share with anyone. Not even Lilli. It is not her burden to bear. And certainly not her responsibility to fix.
All of this is abruptly chased from her thoughts by Lilli’s teasing words. Words that sound awfully threatening. Recoiling, she stares at her in growing horror. “Why would you curse me with that?” she breathes in alarm, voice faintly squeaky. “That sounds terrible.”
Despite her abject dismay, she can’t help the faintly desperate humor that comes bubbling up at the thought, escaping as a somewhat disbelieving laugh. Slowly shaking herself free, she flips a gently admonishing glance at Lilli. A look completely belied by the grin tugging at her lips.
Again though, Lilli manages to surprise her. This time, in a completely different way. With a look that says Duh! she replies easily, “Always!”
Brazen