I had been feeling the surge all morning. My feathered limbs would not settle and I continued to walk, trying to walking off the burdensome feeling. For hours I was unsettled, walking, stopping, trying to graze at the spring shoots underfoot. Nothing, nothing made this any easier. I was far too large to find a suitable place in the shadowy trees. And part of me, slithers of fear knitted inside of me, didn’t want me to hide in the darkness. I wanted this to be safe, to be as secure as it could possible be. But oh, this was so new to me, the feelings rumbling inside of my stomach, the tenderness of my loins.
My strawberry form waded through the spring grasses, they bent and bowed beneath my heavy feet as I powered onward, finding a spot by the falls. A little rocky area where the grasses melted against stone. I collapsed there, my head resting against the harsh, cool stone. My body did not feel the quiver of the icy winds. It was slick with patchy sweat. My flanks heaved, trails of perspiration slipping down my barrel, to the hinds of my legs. I shifted, uncomfortably so, kicking out a back leg at an unseen surge of pain. It felt like something was to explode from me, and that thought made my ears pin tightly against my skull, my nostrils flare and eyes widen white.
Please, please don’t explode into the world like a tornado. I was not sure how much of that I could take. Even carrying this weight around was far more troublesome than I had thought. And I already had issues with lumbering myself to and fro. My thoughts carried me back to watching my mother, my older sister. they had given birth roughly the same time. It had been an early morning affair, the sun just peeking out over the horizon. It had been beautiful, a quaint moment that was worth more than a million words. You could never describe the feeling of watching a newborn struggle to find it’s little legs, or open it’s new eyes tot he colourful world outside.
But I would soon, again. This time it would not be a brother, a nephew, it was my own flesh and blood. A creation of both Texas and myself. I knew he would be busy, advisors, they normally were. But part of me wanted him him. Some witty remark he would give to ease the tension that wrought my frame. that tightened every muscle, right to my cheekbones. I clenched my jaw, not wanting to disturb, but the surge of pain that torrented through me had willed it. I called for him, a sharp cry, and even then I let a low whicker, apologising for such a ruckus.
Something shifted, moving through me towards the exit. I forced my feathered hooves into the soft dirt, churning up the clumps of new grass, striking at the grey rock. I willed it to stop, but the passenger wanted out and in moments, the pain was over and I lay spent, quivering with exhaustion and heaving breaths that felt like a hundred knives had penetrated my lungs. I turned an eye, but dare to move my head for now. I must have done something wrong, I always did. I was too frightened to look at the bundle of dark navy that had slipped free and was strewn across the ground. Was it alright? was it even alive? I squinted my eyes closed, not wanting to see if it had been a problem, if it’s little heart was beating or not.
When I heard a little bleat, hear the sound of tiny hooves scraping and slipping against the stone, I turned my head and watched as the colt fell back to his knees and pressed himself close to me. The feeling of warmth, as though the sun had shone right out from inside of me, it washed over my body, my heart, my soul. I extended my nose, tired eyes finding the child. ’Hello there, little one.’
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- i'm a wishful thinker with the best intentions -
acolyte of the falls |
