all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was
In the days that came after her encounter with Amet, she had kept to the Isle. To the beach that reminded her of dragons, that instilled new feelings in her now that her reborn mind was having difficulty dealing with.
The emotions she was feeling, the release from the darkness... The acceptance she had finally found in herself, the grief and guilt of loss. Of what she had done. Part of her was glad that maybe he was truly hurting, finally feeling a fraction of what he had put her through. Part of her felt vindicated. After what he had done…. The betrayal. Thinking of it now makes her heart spasm with grief, stabbed in the back by him. By her. It slinks around her chest, this feeling of ichor that was similar to the oily slime that had once smeared her power. That had tainted her.
Other emotions rooted deep into her soul with an intensity she had never felt before. The guilt was weighing heavier then her vindication. She knew she would have to fix this, that despite what he had done… She couldn’t forgive him. She couldn’t forget. However, She remembers what it was like to be trapped in the darkness. That purgatory of nothingness. She knows she cannot leave him there. Her anger still remains, of course, but it wasn’t the storm it had once been. Some of that, at least, had been released when she had changed. And how she had changed.
The silver of her eyes still swirled but it was clear, now, the shooting stars that had always been there. Streaking and sparkling in her metallic iris’s with the intensity of the constant emotions she felt. The lives she had lived before. A star made mortal, a star that remembered exactly what and who she was. The many scars that line her body still leak their ethereal white light and she moves with a strange grace that she hadn’t carried before. Even the stars around her flicker with less agitation although they still stayed red, strangely.
Then there is also the other change. The one in her body, the gentle swell of her stomach. The realization at what the gift that had been whispered in a dream actually was. The reality of it was something she was still having a hard time wrapping her head around. More so than what she had done and what she now was. Different emotions swirl in the depths of her starlit gaze when she considers the weight in her belly, what was happening. She was going to be a mother again, a second chance. It excited her, terrified her, made her sad, made her want to sing with joy. She was wary of course, knowing the darkness that had been inside of her. A Dark Star and a Dark God, she worried of course. What might that mean for the child growing inside of her?
Ciri had finally managed to find some light at the end of the tunnel but it seemed she might never escape the full weight of trauma that continued to stalk her path. She wasn’t sure how to clear it entirely, if she even could. With her wings wrapped protectively over the swell in her sides, she gazes calmly out into choppy winter waters.
Of the offensively charming stallion she had met in the Meadow, the one whose words had stuck with her long enough to set her down this new path, she doesn’t think of at all. Not once, like when she had recalled all her memories as a star. Or when she had gone to the Mountain looking for answers. Or even now, waiting for the approaching night when she can release the starlight in her soul.
"What if I need you. I need no-one."
Regret, perhaps that was another emotion that was slowly taking residence. It swirls thoughtfully in a silver sea of stars.
The emotions she was feeling, the release from the darkness... The acceptance she had finally found in herself, the grief and guilt of loss. Of what she had done. Part of her was glad that maybe he was truly hurting, finally feeling a fraction of what he had put her through. Part of her felt vindicated. After what he had done…. The betrayal. Thinking of it now makes her heart spasm with grief, stabbed in the back by him. By her. It slinks around her chest, this feeling of ichor that was similar to the oily slime that had once smeared her power. That had tainted her.
Other emotions rooted deep into her soul with an intensity she had never felt before. The guilt was weighing heavier then her vindication. She knew she would have to fix this, that despite what he had done… She couldn’t forgive him. She couldn’t forget. However, She remembers what it was like to be trapped in the darkness. That purgatory of nothingness. She knows she cannot leave him there. Her anger still remains, of course, but it wasn’t the storm it had once been. Some of that, at least, had been released when she had changed. And how she had changed.
The silver of her eyes still swirled but it was clear, now, the shooting stars that had always been there. Streaking and sparkling in her metallic iris’s with the intensity of the constant emotions she felt. The lives she had lived before. A star made mortal, a star that remembered exactly what and who she was. The many scars that line her body still leak their ethereal white light and she moves with a strange grace that she hadn’t carried before. Even the stars around her flicker with less agitation although they still stayed red, strangely.
Then there is also the other change. The one in her body, the gentle swell of her stomach. The realization at what the gift that had been whispered in a dream actually was. The reality of it was something she was still having a hard time wrapping her head around. More so than what she had done and what she now was. Different emotions swirl in the depths of her starlit gaze when she considers the weight in her belly, what was happening. She was going to be a mother again, a second chance. It excited her, terrified her, made her sad, made her want to sing with joy. She was wary of course, knowing the darkness that had been inside of her. A Dark Star and a Dark God, she worried of course. What might that mean for the child growing inside of her?
Ciri had finally managed to find some light at the end of the tunnel but it seemed she might never escape the full weight of trauma that continued to stalk her path. She wasn’t sure how to clear it entirely, if she even could. With her wings wrapped protectively over the swell in her sides, she gazes calmly out into choppy winter waters.
Of the offensively charming stallion she had met in the Meadow, the one whose words had stuck with her long enough to set her down this new path, she doesn’t think of at all. Not once, like when she had recalled all her memories as a star. Or when she had gone to the Mountain looking for answers. Or even now, waiting for the approaching night when she can release the starlight in her soul.
"What if I need you. I need no-one."
Regret, perhaps that was another emotion that was slowly taking residence. It swirls thoughtfully in a silver sea of stars.
-- Ciri
@Kestrell