"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
08-01-2016, 11:02 AM (This post was last modified: 08-01-2016, 01:17 PM by Daeryssa.)
I never knew this side of me, I never felt this way before.
This time was much less private. Which, can I just say? Awkward as hell. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so loved. By every single person who lives here. That’s wonderful. But holy shit, there are things a girl doesn’t need an audience for. And I love my Halo girl, but she was a little bit too interested and excited and all up in my business. Thank god Drow and Zurry stepped in and redirected her energetic enthusiasm and ushered their pack of girls to a more comfortable distance. The sympathetic, apologetic smile on Drow’s face was enough to coax my lips into a little echoing smile, which was quickly erased by a grimace as another contraction hit.
I still felt too naked, too exposed. Until Tycho reached out and touched his nose to my shoulder, drawing my attention, and then nodded toward a nearby willow tree. The draping branches with their new leaves offered a screen of privacy, a quiet little sheltered area where the four of us could retreat to and I could feel...more secure. My clever, clever boy.
I gave birth to my second child beneath the shade of that willow tree, a perfect little girl with my blue coat and Pazuzu’s gorgeous black hair, and her grandma’s golden eyes. It was easier this time, faster and less absolutely terrifying. And I wasn’t alone. Not that I really had been last time, but I’d thought I was. And touch made so much difference. I felt anchored in their love, in the gentle touch of my lover’s lips to my skin and his steady assurance that he was there and everything was going to be alright, the warm glow of my mother’s healing energy washing over me, the quiet presence of my son standing beside me and letting me lean just a little on him now and then.
I was so nervous the last few weeks, knowing this day was coming. But now? Now she’s here, she’s really here. Sweaty and exhausted, I haul myself to my feet to go clean her off and just...just look at her. I could look at her forever. Tycho is already sniffing her and nuzzling her face by the time I get to her, and it melts my already pretty damn gooey heart. But he backs away to give me space to tend to his little sister and breathe in the new baby scent of her. “Hello, my little love.”
I look over at Pazuzu with the softest smile on my face and beckon him over. I feel like I should be glowing somehow, so full of love and happiness it should be radiating out of me for the whole world to see. “Come meet our daughter, love. Would...would you like to name her?”
You make my heart go bang, and I know that we've only begun.
I know today will be the day. Ryss with her barrel swollen and tiny hooves occasionally pushing outwards as the little girl in there stretches. I smile as quiet words tell me about how cramped and small it is in there now. I soothe her, telling her it will be soon. And not long after that Ryss was leaning against me with the contractions that rippled along her barrel. I smile to myself, touching my lips to her cheek and try to shoo Halo along...but who tells that girl anything? I cannot help but smile at her enthusiasm though, even if it makes Ryss uncomfortable.
Not for long because our boy has her back and we enter beneath the willow tree. I touch my mate, my beautiful, brave mate and whisper encouragement to her. I add my own healing touch to Quark's but I know Ryss needs my words, my touches more than she needs my healing. Her mom has that angle covered.
And then, our beautiful blue daughter is on the ground. Tycho is there, giving her his own love. Her mother cleans her off and I cannot help the smile on my face. This....this was my family. My heart felt full and I sigh softly, touching my lips to Ryss's face, to her neck. "Good job beautiful." I murmur to her softly, sliding up to her side even as my lips move from her to huff against the black baby fuzz. "Roma." I say with a smile, touching my lips to her forehead even as I turn an eye back up to Ryss. "She said her name was Roma."
**Disclaimer, posting to Pazuzu can result in maiming, torturing, and all kinds of nasty things possibly happening to your pony. If you do not agree, do not post to him or if you do not want your pony horribly maimed, please say so. Most of the time he will just leave some nice new scars, either mental or physical.
FINALLY. For fucks sakes it took forever to get out of mom's uterus. These last few weeks have been THE ABSOLUTE WORST. There wasn't enough room for me to stretch and man did I really need a stretch. My legs were too long and I couldn't move my head like I wanted too....I was so done.
At least dad had kept me mildly entertained with stories about Tycho and about Mom. And Grandma Quark. His voice in my head had been the greatest thing and he promised me we would go on all kinds of adventures if I could just stopmovingsomuch for mom. I tried. I did. But it gets really boring and Dad can't always be in my head.
When the bright sun of the world meets my eyes I can't help but squint. We were shaded but it was still about the brightest thing I have ever seen in my life. Ha. Ha. As short as it has been so far. I look up at my parents, knowing dad by the proud glint in his eyes and mom by that loving look she has. I find Tycho because he's just a little off to the side. "Tycho!" I say, excitement getting me to my feet and wobbling. Whoa. This was a little trickier than it seemed like it would be.
I vaguely hear my dad telling mom my name before I am stumble-stepping and staggering the short distance to my brother. I curl into his side, thankfully not having fallen, and lip at his long mane. "Mine." I say, nipping him lightly but not drawing blood. That seemed to be their thing Tycho's and Mom's and Dad's. But...I wasn't too sure about the coppery taste of it. Dad had gave me so many sensations before I had even exited the womb that I was probably months ahead of most kids my age.
It didn't matter and then with a tilt of my head and a brush of my nose against his I stagger a little more steadily back to Mom and touch my lips to hers. I curl into her chest and Dad's since they are there together, side by side. "Mine." I say softly before a rather loud rumble in my stomach makes me start a little. I turn to peer at my side, sniffing it before...Hey! We match! I turn to look at Tycho.... and am only slightly mollified that his hair matches my body before I turn back to Mom. "We match mom." I grin at this, that rumbling in my stomach making me nose along her side until I find what I was looking for.
Once my belly is full, I lean my body against mom's forelegs and yawn. But I am damned if I am going to go to sleep now. I have cousins and a grandma to officially meet. Oh yes and some uncles.
Roma. I have a baby sister, and she matches my hair. Same blue, something that is hers and mine. She looks...like family. Smells like family. Something...new is happening. There is a strange...fullness in my chest, and I need to be close to her. My skin wants to be touching the soft blue of her baby coat. My lungs want to be drowning in her scent. Sister. Mine.
My name is the first she speaks, and it steals away my breath. Her staggering steps almost draw me forward, almost coax me to meet her halfway, but I already know her somehow. She will make it to my side on her own. I will not deprive her of that accomplishment. When she does, she curls up against me, and I hold her close. She nips my shoulder and the word Mine is truth falling from her lips as she takes the heart from my chest. Yours.
I nip her back, gently, so gently, just lips without teeth for fear of hurting her. “Mine,” I agree. There will be blood later. A scrape, a cut, some small wound born of her excitement and enthusiasm and learning the shape of herself and the world around her. Not at my hand, though. Never at my hand. I would die before causing her any harm. But I will be there to ease the pain, and this bond needs no sealing in blood, not today.
She staggers back to our mother, and I follow, helpless to do anything but be close to her, to all of them. Mine. When Roma has fed, I press against Mother’s side, touching the soft of my nose to her shoulder before reaching out to nuzzle my sister’s tiny ribs. Was I ever that small? That delicate? So fragile, so breakable, and yet I cannot imagine--well. Yes. Yes I can imagine. All too vividly. So I look to Father, my eyes solemn and dark. We will keep her safe. And we will destroy anything that threatens that safety. Ours.
Screaming like a siren, alive and burning brighter.
Once the hard part was done, I faded into the background, giving my daughter and her family time to bond. Those first moments with a new babe are one of the most precious experiences in life, and my heart is light as I watch them, leaning up against the trunk of the willow tree and smiling as little Roma takes her first steps, speaks her first word--and knocks her brother to his knees.
I remember that feeling, and my heart aches for my little brother, so long lost to this world. Mine, from the moment he was born. So much more than he was ever our mother’s. She left us not long after, and I was his world that first year. Then he was more independent, and I was already half in love with my best friend and all wrapped up in her. Tycho will do a better job of holding on tight.
He’ll take better care of his sister than I did of my brother.
Don’t be stupid. You did great. And I don’t regret fighting for you for a second. Besides, if I’d lived, who’d shadow your strange little angel and keep her from getting into just a little too much trouble? I can feel him next to me, borrowing the strength and solidity of the willow tree to offer love and support, and I lean into him and smile.
Her brother, perhaps?
Not always. Strange needs herself a team of guardians, don’t you know that? Before I can thank him, he is gone, a brush of ghostly silver lips against my cheek before he vanishes. Still, it was enough. I breathe out a long, slow breath and then open my eyes to see the four of them cuddled up together looking so damn perfect.
Halo is already wriggling with impatience, so I push off the trunk and make my way over to brush my lips against my new granddaughter’s forehead and play with her little black baby mane. Black and blue, just like I used to wear all the time. Well, like the much softer, lighter shade of it Ryss inherited anyhow. Blue from her mother, black from her father, and my Nocturnal’s golden eyes.
“Hello, love. You happy to finally be out and about, then?”
Just like fire burning out the way, if I can light the world up for just one day...
My turn, my turn, my tuuurn! Everybody gets to cuddle the baby before me, dammit. Auntie Ryss, who I guess that’s fair ‘cuz she’s the baby’s mom or whatever. And Tycho, who fine okay is her brother. And Uncle, and I would never begrudge Uncle his turn because hello. He’s my best uncle and most favorite person. And then Grandma too, though? Okay, so fine, she helped, whatever, I guess. I tried to help. And got nudged and herded away and made to wait outside the dumb tree branches like a pariah.
Long enough.
When Grams is on her way over to sniff at the baby and kiss her cheek or whatever I finally duck through my daddies’ guard and dash over and bounce bounce pounce! no wait baby, no pouncing. Okay, bounce bounce screeeech to a halt and snuggle, basically squishing her against her parents. “Roma! You’re finally here! I’ve been waiting forEVER. Ohhh you’re pretty! Uncle, she’s pretty! Good job! Though I’d still like you if you were gross and like, misshapen and squashy and weird but you’re not, you’re pretty!”
“Love.” Aw hell.
“Yes, Daddy?” I peer over my shoulder and blink innocently at him, and he griiins right back at me.
“You’re squishing your cousin.”
“Um, but she likes being squished maybe, huh? For cuddles? The best cuddles are the squishy kind. No? Aww.” I back away just a teensy bit, in case I was toooo squishing her, but not so far that I’m not still cuddling her, okay? Because that’s my Roma.
Except then Loony nudges me out of the way to say hello too, dammit. Fine. Ugh. “You and me later, girl. We are going to have some fun, ‘kay?” I blow her a kiss and scamper off to let the rest of the family say hello.
Patience is not a talent of Halo’s. She is all about the immediate moment, has been from the time we came to be. Sometimes it serves her rather well, that impulsive streak running through her like wildfire in her veins. Like now, when she rushes over to smother our new cousin in love. Other times...well. Dad calling her off when she gets a little too cuddly is perhaps a good example of the down side.
And what the hell, right? I nudge my way in next, grinning at our new cousin even as Halo sneaks around behind me to give our uncle a kiss on the cheek. “I love her, Uncle!” she chirps, cuddling up next to him as I brush my lips against Roma’s forehead.
“Welcome to the family, Roma. It’s a delight to finally meet you. That one was Halo, and I’m Luna, and the pretty yellow and white one’s Grandma Quark. There are a lot of us, so if you forget, don’t worry. We’ll remind you. I know everybody’s really excited to meet you, so I’m just going to give you a quick cuddle and let the rest of them come say hello, okay?”
I snuggle little Roma, much more gently than Halo did. A quick little hug, a brush of my lips against her withers, and I’m off too, heading over to curl up against Grams and wait for the rest of our large and enthusiastic family to greet our newest member. I brush a kiss to the feather-shaped spot on her shoulder before resting my head there.
the moonlight glow on sallow flesh, there's beauty in our dance of death
I’m not going to lie, I have absolutely no need to witness someone giving birth. Well, not when she’s got a healer and a magician to make sure she’s okay and support her and help her through it and all. No need for me to be there. So when my Halo-girl gets a little too excited, as is her way, I have no problem with herding my lot off and hanging out with my love and our little horde of daughters and keeping the girls occupied while we wait for their new baby cousin to arrive.
And when she does, Zur and I even manage to buy the four of them a few minutes alone together before Halo dives in, all adorable rambunctious delight. And Luna, more circumspect as usual. While Dara steps forward to meet pretty little Roma and cuddle her and say hello, I make for her proud parents, grinning and nudging my Halo back a bit so I can touch my shoulder to Pazuzu’s and reach over him to brush my lips against the deep blue violet of Ryss’s mane.
No words. Just support and congratulations and love conveyed with a few touches.
Ryss leans into the touch and into Pazuzu, smiling over at me and lifting her head from nuzzling her new little one so I can kiss her cheek. “She’s perfect. Looks healthy and strong, not that there was ever any doubt.” Not with Pazuzu and Mom taking such good care of Ryss and Roma--oh that’s cute, Ryss and Roma--during the pregnancy.
Halo stomps impatiently and nudges me with her nose, staring at me and clearly williing me to get out of her damn way so she can cuddle her uncle already, so I stick my tongue out at her and press my cheek against Zu’s neck, hugging him briefly. “Congratulations.”
I don’t linger very long, because there are a lot of people who want to drown them in love and affection. And I can see Tycho’s already getting a little tense from all the bodies around him, even if the only ones he’s touching are his mom and his sister. So when Dara and Fury have both gotten their cuddles and hellos and introductions in, I come around to do the same.
I lower my head to peer at her, meeting the familiar golden color of her eyes with my mismatched gold and silver. I’m pretty sure my head is bigger than her entire torso, and my face is less scarred than it once was, but she’s tiny as hell and I’m not exactly the coziest-looking of the lot of us. So I smile and blow a puff of air to ruffle her mane. Eh, she’s got the sass and the backbone to not be scared of me. Look at her parents. And if she’s a little nervous, well, she’ll learn soon enough that I’m a giant goddamn teddy bear.
“Hello, little darling. I’m your uncle Drow. You ever need anything, I’m here, you got that? Welcome to the world, Roma.” A quick, gentle nuzzle to her side, and I’m stepping back, letting Zur get a turn in. And as I step back, I meet Tycho’s eyes, see the determination in their dark depths, and I nod. I know that look. He would do anything for his new baby sister. Risk anything to protect her, to defend her, and if ever need be, to avenge her. Me too, kid. She’s family, after all.
I stay back with Dad and Papa when they decide we can go back over to meet our cousin. I stay back even longer and let Halo go first, not that she gives us much of a chance to reply as she bounds forwards and gets her cuddles in. Roma loves it. I watch the grin spread on her face as she practically squishes her cousin as much as she can in return. Her wolf eyes are practically glowing.
Luna and Dara, then Daddy and finally Papa nudges me forwards until I touch my lips to her mane and her forehead. She curls into me like a cat, like she had to the rest of the touches and love. She is so sweet, so precious, but I can see the same sass in her eyes that I see occassionally in Auntie Ryss's and Uncle Zu's. Or that glint of mischief that Halo gets so often. I can only smile. Whoa buddy, they were going to have their work cut out for them.
"I'm Fury." I say simply and she nods slightly. "I'm glad you're out now. We will have fun." And she grins before I step away with another light fluff of air to her mane. I step out of the way to let Papa go.
I curl into Grandma's side as I watch Papa greet the little floof. He's just as gentle as Daddy had been. Greeting her in his baritone and giving her as much as love as the rest of us. He even goes to cuddle Uncle Zu and Auntie Ryss. Whoops! Looks like I forgot to do that, too worried about not being in the way. I hurry my way back over, touching my lips to their necks and smiling and pulling them into a hug, nudging the rest of my family out of my way so I could do so. "Good job!" I say, lipping Auntie Ryss's mane. And then I touch Tycho just briefly, conveying my love and congrats before I settle back into Grandma's side and wait.
My eyes are getting awfully heavy, but grandma is making her yellow and white way over here to me. And I smile, a giant full grin that almost makes me wiggle in excitement. "Grandma!" I practically purr as I curl into her chest too, scratching my blunt baby teeth against her shoulder in an affectionate greeting. "Oh yes!" I say on a long sigh. "It was getting small in there." I say with another giant grin. And I'm so involved in our Grandma that I miss the look my already protective brother glances at our dad.
I had curled back into Mom and Dad when a very explosive force snuggles against me and I laugh, snuggling back against her with as much force as I can muster. "Kitten!" That's what dad always called her. I nuzzle my face against her neck and nibble on her lightly.
Luna is next and I don't even need their introductions. Dad had mad sure I had names and faces and stories months ago. I could call them all by name and walk right up to them to introduce myself. But I let them, because they feel like they need to. And whatever, it's tiring being born and my legs might be a little bit unsteady as I cuddle up to Luna. I nod at her words, smiling at her too.
Uncle Drow's big ole face fills up my vision next and I cuddle into his chest...well, I laugh in delight as I slide under his belly and peek my head out between his two front legs. "Uncle Drow! You're a lot bigger than what daddy said you were."
Fury girl and Uncle Zur are next and I curl into them both. "Daddy already told me all your names you know." I say with a giant yawn as I curl up in front of Mom's legs. "He told me lots of stories about you and how much fun I was going to have." My eyes are closing. "And the trouble we are going to get into." A smile curls my lips at this as my head rests itself on my legs. "I'm sleep now though, so I'll have to get into trouble after a nap." And then my world goes black.
