09-28-2016, 10:48 AM
Akkadian
"Awk-ay-dee-Uhn"
He saw her disappointment at his retreat, and he nearly stepped in to fix it. But he could not. Ever. And she didn't know it, couldn't understand the reasons behind it. In her eyes, her brother would not comfort her. But it was so much more than that. He dared not desecrate her purity with his filthy touch.
Before, he would have easily swooped in to cradle her close. He understood her confusion of that loss, of the one who would always make things right for her when they were younger, never hesitating to step in on her behalf. But he could no longer fool himself. As the prince he was raised to be, he could hold his princess sister at any time. But he knew the truth now, he was not a prince. Only a bastard child found at the river. He could not touch a princess; indeed, he should be bowing before her.
He cleared the emotion from his throat and looked away as she addressed him. She did not hide the hurt in her voice, perhaps also the disappointing realization that he was not good enough. That was more true than she even realized; by blooded proof, he could never be good enough. She advised that he apologize, and he made note to do so, then went on to admonish him for forcing distance between them when she needed him most. The truth stung him, but what was he to do? He could no longer be the brother she needed.
When she said he'd hurt her deeply, addressing him by name in that soft voice, he made a decision. She saw a brother on equal standing. Prince or not, it was still his duty to be there for her and protect her. So he'd pretend then. He would do as a loyal subject should and give her what she wanted, when she wanted it. She told him his behavior had stabbed her when she was down, and asked how family could do that to one another.
Family wouldn't. But they were not family.
He could never tell her.
I am sorry, my akhut he said quietly, sad eyes staring at his feet in shame. Even now he lied to her. She was not his akhut, not his sister.
My behavior has been appalling, he admitted carefully, understanding that she expected a brother when he felt forced to act as a stranger. Perhaps an overly protective one. Maybe a little controlling too. It was hard to come to terms that their way of life and interacting with each other was no more, was outlandish. And made harder still by the fact he could not fully explain his actions without revealing his deception.
Please forgive me... I can't bear to be at odds with you.
Akkadian stepped hesitantly forward, his gaze locked on her. With a single touch, and without her permission, he would ruin her. She wasn't aware of what she asked when she wanted her brother back. His mix-blooded filth would soil her royal coat. And with those thoughts tightening his movements, he pressed his nose gently into her neck. Her sweet scent was almost too much for him, but he pinched his eyes shut and placed himself lovingly and firmly against her sides. Gentle, protective. And so deeply wrong.
And so very right.
Before, he would have easily swooped in to cradle her close. He understood her confusion of that loss, of the one who would always make things right for her when they were younger, never hesitating to step in on her behalf. But he could no longer fool himself. As the prince he was raised to be, he could hold his princess sister at any time. But he knew the truth now, he was not a prince. Only a bastard child found at the river. He could not touch a princess; indeed, he should be bowing before her.
He cleared the emotion from his throat and looked away as she addressed him. She did not hide the hurt in her voice, perhaps also the disappointing realization that he was not good enough. That was more true than she even realized; by blooded proof, he could never be good enough. She advised that he apologize, and he made note to do so, then went on to admonish him for forcing distance between them when she needed him most. The truth stung him, but what was he to do? He could no longer be the brother she needed.
When she said he'd hurt her deeply, addressing him by name in that soft voice, he made a decision. She saw a brother on equal standing. Prince or not, it was still his duty to be there for her and protect her. So he'd pretend then. He would do as a loyal subject should and give her what she wanted, when she wanted it. She told him his behavior had stabbed her when she was down, and asked how family could do that to one another.
Family wouldn't. But they were not family.
He could never tell her.
I am sorry, my akhut he said quietly, sad eyes staring at his feet in shame. Even now he lied to her. She was not his akhut, not his sister.
My behavior has been appalling, he admitted carefully, understanding that she expected a brother when he felt forced to act as a stranger. Perhaps an overly protective one. Maybe a little controlling too. It was hard to come to terms that their way of life and interacting with each other was no more, was outlandish. And made harder still by the fact he could not fully explain his actions without revealing his deception.
Please forgive me... I can't bear to be at odds with you.
Akkadian stepped hesitantly forward, his gaze locked on her. With a single touch, and without her permission, he would ruin her. She wasn't aware of what she asked when she wanted her brother back. His mix-blooded filth would soil her royal coat. And with those thoughts tightening his movements, he pressed his nose gently into her neck. Her sweet scent was almost too much for him, but he pinched his eyes shut and placed himself lovingly and firmly against her sides. Gentle, protective. And so deeply wrong.
And so very right.