Oh, God. He'd messed up bad this time. Real bad.
He'd pulled back and her eyes were an entire canvas of just how badly he'd screwed up. Shaky confusion and then a slow swirl into something glassy and fragile. She soldiered up a bit and told him good, she couldn't be anything more to him because she had her man. All things he knew and yet each word she added to it only cut him deeper. He wished he could make her stop talking, he didn't need to hear it. He already knew how foolish he'd been. How out of line.
It wouldn't happen again.
His blood was running cold and he itched to get the hell out of here. Just leave. He couldn't even look at her anymore when she asked if she did anything to cause it. Like it was her fault he was just an idiot. And that deep searching in her eyes turned his gaze away instantly, anywhere but at her. Such a fool. Why the hell did he have to mess up everything he touched?
And then she wanted him to tell her why. So she could stop doing whatever it was. His head bowed in a semblance of defeat. Seriously, she was blaming herself? He was the screw-up, not her. Besides, she couldn't just stop being who she was. And hell, maybe he didn't even really feel anything. Maybe it was just one of those stupid moments where something insane just felt right. God, he hoped it was that.
He stiffened when she said it would suck to lose him as a friend, -a friend? did he have any of those?-, and he pinned her with a hard stare. She thought he'd just leave and stop talking to her? Stop seeing her? Avoid her because it may hurt? Did it?
As though he were some coward.
I run from nothing, he ground out darkly, gritting his teeth. Nearly nose to nose with her, he locked her in a pointed stare. He would never allow her to think him so weak. He'd never allow her to think he'd leave her side if she ever wanted him there. Not for anything. He was no coward. He would not run.
The glowing embers remained in his eyes though his face softened. His eyes slid down her face again, admiring everything she was. Who she was. All her nonsensical ramblings, her nearly self-destructive emotions. God, and that sweet scent of her that made his mouth water. Gently, he tipped her chin up to look into her eyes again. Damn him if he didn't see a hint of fear in there, that she might lose him. Don't let me hallucinate this.
That, right there, he said softly, thinking on all her smart ass jibes, her deep emotions she shared so openly with him. That's why. You are why. And I never want you to change it. Her blunt honesty. Her drive to understand things and solve them if she could. Those raw emotions.
He sighed quietly and straightened, shoulders just a little slumped and eyes on the ground. When she should shun him, demand he never talk to her again, she stood there afraid he'd run off and avoid her. Afraid he'd try to escape his feelings. He was the Guardian, the warrior, the bodyguard. Emotions were felt, accepted, and buried deep. Death was the only thing he escaped, and that only a temporary dance.
It won't happen again Arrya.
He'd pulled back and her eyes were an entire canvas of just how badly he'd screwed up. Shaky confusion and then a slow swirl into something glassy and fragile. She soldiered up a bit and told him good, she couldn't be anything more to him because she had her man. All things he knew and yet each word she added to it only cut him deeper. He wished he could make her stop talking, he didn't need to hear it. He already knew how foolish he'd been. How out of line.
It wouldn't happen again.
His blood was running cold and he itched to get the hell out of here. Just leave. He couldn't even look at her anymore when she asked if she did anything to cause it. Like it was her fault he was just an idiot. And that deep searching in her eyes turned his gaze away instantly, anywhere but at her. Such a fool. Why the hell did he have to mess up everything he touched?
And then she wanted him to tell her why. So she could stop doing whatever it was. His head bowed in a semblance of defeat. Seriously, she was blaming herself? He was the screw-up, not her. Besides, she couldn't just stop being who she was. And hell, maybe he didn't even really feel anything. Maybe it was just one of those stupid moments where something insane just felt right. God, he hoped it was that.
He stiffened when she said it would suck to lose him as a friend, -a friend? did he have any of those?-, and he pinned her with a hard stare. She thought he'd just leave and stop talking to her? Stop seeing her? Avoid her because it may hurt? Did it?
As though he were some coward.
I run from nothing, he ground out darkly, gritting his teeth. Nearly nose to nose with her, he locked her in a pointed stare. He would never allow her to think him so weak. He'd never allow her to think he'd leave her side if she ever wanted him there. Not for anything. He was no coward. He would not run.
The glowing embers remained in his eyes though his face softened. His eyes slid down her face again, admiring everything she was. Who she was. All her nonsensical ramblings, her nearly self-destructive emotions. God, and that sweet scent of her that made his mouth water. Gently, he tipped her chin up to look into her eyes again. Damn him if he didn't see a hint of fear in there, that she might lose him. Don't let me hallucinate this.
That, right there, he said softly, thinking on all her smart ass jibes, her deep emotions she shared so openly with him. That's why. You are why. And I never want you to change it. Her blunt honesty. Her drive to understand things and solve them if she could. Those raw emotions.
He sighed quietly and straightened, shoulders just a little slumped and eyes on the ground. When she should shun him, demand he never talk to her again, she stood there afraid he'd run off and avoid her. Afraid he'd try to escape his feelings. He was the Guardian, the warrior, the bodyguard. Emotions were felt, accepted, and buried deep. Death was the only thing he escaped, and that only a temporary dance.
It won't happen again Arrya.