"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
02-11-2017, 09:38 PM (This post was last modified: 02-11-2017, 09:38 PM by Arrya.)
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
God, they grow up so fast. Feels like five minutes ago Rora was this tiny little fluffball, all content to be tucked up between me and her daddy, her big blue eyes fighting to stay awake as I made the light dance for her to coax her to sleep. Now? She’s getting all...independent. Why just now she looked right at me and said, “I love you, Momma, but I gotsta talk to Daddy, ‘kay? It’s daddy daughter stuffs, so please go away for a little. You can come back when my belly’s rumbly, ‘kay?” Okay fine so it was kind of adorable. And it made Rhory go all squishy happy, with this sappy grin on his face and awe in his eyes like he still can’t quite believe she’s talking about him when she says stuff like that.
So I put on a show and huffed and sassed and stomped away, all indignant and whatnot, but I grinned at Rhory when our little twinkle star wasn’t looking, and threw him a little wink to let him know I was just playing. And then I went to go find Kade. Let’s be real, who else was I gonna go hang out with? Besides Rhory, he was my best friend. And really the only person who put up with me, even seemed to like me, the crazy bastard. I grinned and headed out to his favorite spot, unsurprised to find him hanging out beneath the bright blue sky.
“Hiya, princess.” Naturally, the first thing I do is wander over to bump my shoulder against his. “It’s been all of a day. Miss me yet?”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
He smirked as soon as he heard her voice. Princess. She had always called him that, from the very first time they'd met. He couldn't remember now exactly what had brought it to brand itself to him, but he thought it may have had something to do with the fluid movement of a warrior's grace. A dance of death, he'd once been, a guardian to his brother-prince whom should have lived long enough to be king.
He masked the remnants of painful memories behind a blank face as she neared and bumped his shoulder. With a low chuckle and a careful grin, he replied something she probably expected to hear by now for how often it played back to her in answer. No. Ask me again tomorrow.
She and little Rora were the only ones that were ever allowed near enough to touch him. It had been a thing far more intimate for him in his culture, and sometimes he still had to force himself to hold still and allow it. But never with Arrya. Her close friendship was the exception, and perhaps her teeny girl as well. It made him strange in this world, and it wasn't like that for everyone back home, but it had been for him due to his station.
She is growing quickly.. He paused, turning his face away to study the flickering sunlight glowing in the gently waving grasses. Josie came to mind then, and the child she'd taken with her wherever she'd gone. His only child. His son. Maybe in some way, little Rora was a balm to that ache. Do you think you will be having another some day? An idle curiosity. Because he didn't think he would.
You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?
Ask me again tomorrow.
It’s kind of adorable how predictable we are. Our sarcastic little routine that barely masks a hell of a lot of affection. He’s a good man, Kade, and it’s nice to have someone to sass again. To have a friend to talk to about shit when...when it starts to get hard or complicated or confusing. Like it’s been getting lately.
“I’ll make sure to do that.” And I will, too. I’ve seen him what feels like just about every day since Rora was born, sassing and smart-mouthing and enjoying his company, letting Rora get to know her Uncle Kade. It means so damn much to me that she has that, an adult she trusts who isn’t her mom or her dad. Hell, I’ve made sure she has more than I did when I was her age, and the fact that I haven’t fucked that up is a damn relief.
She is growing quickly.
I snort and nod. “They do that, yeah. Feels like she was just that wobbly-legged little thing still trying to figure out how to use her feet, you know? Already a good year and a half old somehow, and it feels like I just blinked.” It feels like time has been passing so goddamn fast lately, like the whole world is on fast forward and I’m standing still. Suspended in time, spiraling out into infinity while my family is taking a far more direct path.
I swallow hard, trying not to think about what that means.
Do you think you will be having another someday?
My lower lip trembles and I draw in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. “No, I...I don’t think so. It’s easy to get carried away that time of year, so it’s possible, but...I’m happy the way things are.” Except, of course, for the growing sense of inevitability, the crushing weight of goodbye looming in what I hope to fuck is the distance. How many more chances will we have to get carried away? God, and when the time comes, how badly will I regret that I didn’t take every opportunity available to keep another piece of my Rhory in the world? “I think Rora’s it for me.”
And then, because it hurts so much I can’t breathe holding it in, I whisper, “Rhory’s getting older, and...god, he’s so great with Rora, and she’s so damn lucky to get to grow up with a dad like him, you know? I fought having kids for the longest time, and when I finally did...I wanted them to have...just so much more than I grew up with. Parents that would do anything for them, family whose love they’d never doubt for an instant, who they knew would always accept them for who they are. I never knew my birth parents, and my adoptive mom dumped me when she found out about how I could play with the light. Left me with the scar on my forehead, the one that almost matches Rora’s marking. I was on my own after that, just me and my twins’ dad and my Rhory Lionheart. My boys.”
I trail off, looking out into the forest, remembering a simpler time before wayward hearts trampled all over one another and left each other broken. “Anyhow. No, I think it’ll be just Rora.” And if that hurts my heart in ways I didn’t see coming, well, I can be okay with that. At least until fall, when heartache and heat have a chance to change my mind. “What about you?”
You've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away.
