03-18-2017, 09:46 PM
Drowning, drowning, drowning. I can’t breathe for the sorrow washing over me, crashing down in endless waves, pulling me under--and then he is there, brushing the tears from my cheeks, an island in this vast ocean, a solid place to stand if only for a little while. “Daddy,” I whisper, raising red-rimmed blue eyes to meet his, silently beseeching...but what can he do, what can anyone do to fix what I’ve done?
It’s no good.
I look away, closing my eyes and lowering my face to tuck it up against my chest. There’s no fixing this, no saving the shining white girl who looked like the embodiment of Mom’s light, no bringing back the moment and making a different choice. “I think I made a really big mistake, Daddy,” I say quietly. My tears have stopped, at least, though whether because of his presence or because I’ve just run out, I couldn’t say. “And I can’t take it back. And it hurts, Daddy, sometimes it hurts so bad I can hardly breathe, but I can’t make it right. It’s too late.”
I sigh, shoulders slumping, head drooping, so heavy it’s hard to hold up.
“I don’t know what to do.”
It’s no good.
I look away, closing my eyes and lowering my face to tuck it up against my chest. There’s no fixing this, no saving the shining white girl who looked like the embodiment of Mom’s light, no bringing back the moment and making a different choice. “I think I made a really big mistake, Daddy,” I say quietly. My tears have stopped, at least, though whether because of his presence or because I’ve just run out, I couldn’t say. “And I can’t take it back. And it hurts, Daddy, sometimes it hurts so bad I can hardly breathe, but I can’t make it right. It’s too late.”
I sigh, shoulders slumping, head drooping, so heavy it’s hard to hold up.
“I don’t know what to do.”
pic by Qinni