Bound for trouble from the start
I've been walking through this old world in the dark
The ocean is tumultuous and expansive, a never ending sea of regret and disappointment. It constantly threatens to pull him down, fill his lungs. He chokes on his anguish and wonders how he has been spared this long, when will it finally swallow him once and for all. He is always barely treading water, just barely hanging on. The self caused neglect will eventually wear him down, he will be lucky to survive another season. He will be lucky to survive another week and if he doesn’t, his life will fade. A waste. A disgrace.
Her pleas are half hearted, not trusting her own words. She sees his truth as he does. He is drowning in his own hate and heartache. The softness of her muzzle against his ragged scars elicits another involuntary sigh and he can not help but succumb to her touch. The buoy he needs so desperately to cling on, the lighthouse that gives him a way out of his invincible dark sea.
It matters not that this was a mare that his father had made love to and created life with. The thought is so far from his mind, a story he has never seen. To him she is not Magnus’s ex lover. She is a mare that has been hurt by the same hands as he, a woman who has seen him at his rawest form and hadn’t turned away. They barely know each other and yet she probably knows him better than anyone else.
Her breath is sweet and warm against his cheek and his eyelid closes as he leans into her touch. ”It never passes.” He disagrees quietly, the pounding of his heart increasing at her caress. He can’t help himself, his muzzle finding the crook of her neck. It trails lightly down towards her chest until his head is hidden in the damp tresses of her mane. Never has he felt so safe, it’s unnerving. The beast within him stirs with want and desire but he does nothing more. Merely inhaling her scent, greedily stealing every second of contact that he can.
”This is what I am.” He mumbles into her skin, hesitating if he should break away. ”It will never change.” His words are laced with defeated acceptance. It would always be this way. Regretfully, he begins to pull away. It was foolish to think he could seek such comfort here with her.
Ledger