Tangerine
In the middle of the night, I go walking in my sleep
Tang is so lonely she achs.
She had never been one to seek shelter in solitude; she had filled her nights with friends and would-be-lovers, secrets and kisses. She didn't like to sleep alone.
The other mare's words only widen the chasm, reminding her of how friendship and new acquaintances used to come so cheap.
Reminding her of how she had run from Hyaline and the residents there because she had been rendered inadequate by the dark god. At first, Tang had chosen the river for convenience - it was the furthest she could travel with her newborn and injuries. But she too had memories intertwined with the tributaries and mist, those memories had kept her anchored.
Here, she could be close to Warrick even though she is not ready for him to see her yet.
She misses him more than she has ever missed anyone. She would have followed him to the ends of the earth, but he wanted to stay at home - that was the only place she couldn't be.
Tang had been the sunlight, and Warrick had been the night sky, dark and vast. He had enveloped her and tamed her for a time, they were incapable of coexistence, but in the moments they been intertwined, between dusk and dawn, those moments were filled brilliance.
But now, she could feel herself growing colder.
She doesn't know who to be if she can't be the girl who walked on sunshine anymore.
But Tangerine doesn't have her blue and rust lover to whisper these things to - what she has is Cordis.
It is better that way, Cordis never knew her before Him and therefore she cannot be disappointed by what she has become.
Tang's amber eyes give in to the magnetic pull of the other woman's brand. She had known there were others in His lair with her, but the silver brand she sees is not fresh - that brand was made years ago. Her eyes grow hot and refuse to look away. How many were there? What was she, one in a hundred, a thousand?
"Tang." She horsly manages.
And then Tang sobs because she had never been good at holding back, because she has no pride left to lose. Like tempered glass, she had been crazed, but now she breaks - she is so fragile this simple kindness, which would have been inconsequential a year ago, cracks her open.
Celest frowns.