11-20-2017, 10:22 PM
Diable Rouge
>I know how it looked when I fell to pieces around you...
Time has a way of changing things.
Years. Years had gone by since he had found the boy on the beach, abandoned by Karaugh, left to rot and die just because he "wasn't good enough." Years had gone by since Tangerine and the twins made their appearances, and Tang offered to help him save the boy. Years had gone by since Kaiode played too naively around the volcano.
Years since he jumped.
Years since Solace tried to save him.
Years since her beam of light.
Years since his death.
The word echos in his mind now. He doesn't remember the last time he saw Tang; he hadn't even gotten a chance to truly talk to her, or to Solace, or even to Svedka for that matter. The small family unit they had made, broken in an instant.
And then he found her. His shining ray of light, his hope for a better future. His AuroraElis, his star. He loved her with his whole heart, his whole soul longed for her embrace every moment of every day. Sometimes he felt as if he was clinging to her for dear life, trying to avoid letting her out of his sight for even a moment. He couldn't lose her. No, not her, not after everything he had been through.
These thoughts follow him to the part of the beach he had seen the flame colored mare (Jah-Lilah) bury his body. He had wanted to be there, to do it himself, but he couldn't bare it. He hadn't visited since that very first day, and he knew today he owed it to Kaiode to give his time.
He is hesitant at first, feet sinking into the earth as he contemplated running away, but then finally he works up the courage. His legs carry him to what once was a body buried underneath a mound of sand, it is now just like the rest of the beach. Dark, desolate. Kaiode had been carried to the sea...hopefully his soul was still there.
"Kaiode..." The words feel strange on his tongue, he hesitates. "I...I miss you." He can no longer hold it in. The tears fall, crashing around him and into the sand that had once held the child's body. To any of those passing, he would just look like another lunatic whispering to the wind. "I'm sorry. I wish...I wish I could do it over, Kaiode. I wish you were still here..." He swallows back the remaining tears, managing to smile at his next thought. "You're going to be a brother, Kaiode. You hear that? A big brother. You were always such a good sibling..." His voice trails as he thinks of Solace and Svedka. He continues. "I want you to know, I've never stopped thinking of you. And...even though you're gone, I still love you. I wish you could meet Aurora, you would adore her, yeah? Just like you loved Tang." Diable Rouge closes his eyes and inhales deeply, holding it for a few moments. "I'm going to make you proud, son. No matter what...I'm...I'm gonna make you proud. Now, don't wait up for this old man, okay? Go...go have fun with the other kids out there okay? I'll see you one day..."
And then he stands there, crying into the nothingness...
I'm learning how to put the pieces back together, turn the aching to composure...
Time has a way of changing things.
Years. Years had gone by since he had found the boy on the beach, abandoned by Karaugh, left to rot and die just because he "wasn't good enough." Years had gone by since Tangerine and the twins made their appearances, and Tang offered to help him save the boy. Years had gone by since Kaiode played too naively around the volcano.
Years since he jumped.
Years since Solace tried to save him.
Years since her beam of light.
Years since his death.
The word echos in his mind now. He doesn't remember the last time he saw Tang; he hadn't even gotten a chance to truly talk to her, or to Solace, or even to Svedka for that matter. The small family unit they had made, broken in an instant.
And then he found her. His shining ray of light, his hope for a better future. His AuroraElis, his star. He loved her with his whole heart, his whole soul longed for her embrace every moment of every day. Sometimes he felt as if he was clinging to her for dear life, trying to avoid letting her out of his sight for even a moment. He couldn't lose her. No, not her, not after everything he had been through.
These thoughts follow him to the part of the beach he had seen the flame colored mare (Jah-Lilah) bury his body. He had wanted to be there, to do it himself, but he couldn't bare it. He hadn't visited since that very first day, and he knew today he owed it to Kaiode to give his time.
He is hesitant at first, feet sinking into the earth as he contemplated running away, but then finally he works up the courage. His legs carry him to what once was a body buried underneath a mound of sand, it is now just like the rest of the beach. Dark, desolate. Kaiode had been carried to the sea...hopefully his soul was still there.
"Kaiode..." The words feel strange on his tongue, he hesitates. "I...I miss you." He can no longer hold it in. The tears fall, crashing around him and into the sand that had once held the child's body. To any of those passing, he would just look like another lunatic whispering to the wind. "I'm sorry. I wish...I wish I could do it over, Kaiode. I wish you were still here..." He swallows back the remaining tears, managing to smile at his next thought. "You're going to be a brother, Kaiode. You hear that? A big brother. You were always such a good sibling..." His voice trails as he thinks of Solace and Svedka. He continues. "I want you to know, I've never stopped thinking of you. And...even though you're gone, I still love you. I wish you could meet Aurora, you would adore her, yeah? Just like you loved Tang." Diable Rouge closes his eyes and inhales deeply, holding it for a few moments. "I'm going to make you proud, son. No matter what...I'm...I'm gonna make you proud. Now, don't wait up for this old man, okay? Go...go have fun with the other kids out there okay? I'll see you one day..."
And then he stands there, crying into the nothingness...
I'm learning how to put the pieces back together, turn the aching to composure...
in the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.
Just a little Rou post, feel free to reply
Just a little Rou post, feel free to reply
11-21-2017, 10:43 AM
like the sun swallowed up by the earth
He had not known Diable Rouge, not like Tangerine had. He had not even known Kaiode well enough either, not in the way he should have. The untimely death of the colt left him ridden with guilt, for not being a bigger supporter for the child’s adoptive mother (his sweet, gentle Tangerine) and feeling like he perhaps lacked a way to make the situation better, and perhaps even worsened it with his inability to understand what his children and their mother were going through.So when the winged stallion sees Diable Rouge, his heart drops and aches immediately, cerulean eyes widening with sorrow.
The wind is strong near the beach, flipping Warrick’s blue mane and forelock from his face and unfurling the feathers that had been groomed flat against his sides. The navy pointed stallion could not hear Diable Rouge at all, but from the way the other stallion held his head, Warrick could guess that his heart is with Kaiode at this moment.
The peacekeeper suddenly misses Tangerine immensely, and when he sees the shuddering shoulders of the red mottled stallion, he begins to move towards him.
He brings himself up beside Diable Rouge, silent and unwavering. He remembers his own sister and mother, dead to the world but alive in the stars, and he wishes there is something that he can say to comfort the other stallion. He remembers telling Tang that perhaps Kaiode has found his mother Orani in the stars, and that she finally has a son again. But it felt too personal to share with Diable Rouge, so instead he remains silent. He allows him this grief, this mourning - even though it had been years. Warrick has found himself still staring at the stars with tear-filled eyes, wishing and wanting his family to be with him.
He understands.
The cry of gulls overhead as they float on the tradewinds fill the beach, as well as the rolling waves that crash on the shore beside them.
“The sting never seems to fade, does it?” He murmurs quietly, when he thinks he has heard Diable Rouge’s cries soften and dwindle.
Warrick
@[Diable Rouge]
11-22-2017, 08:19 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-22-2017, 08:19 PM by Diable Rouge.)
Diable Rouge
>The sound of footsteps approaching causes one satellite to flicker back. The newcomer's hooves sink in the sand with every step, until he is at Diable Rouge's side. The rusty stallion doesn't bother containing the tears that continue to fall from his now swollen orbs, but he does allow himself to catch a glimpse of the looming shadow by his side.
Warrick. An acquaintance, Tang's lover and the twin's father. One whom he didn't know personally, but that was an amazing parent to his children. The sting of guilt comes back, and his heart fills with an overwhelming sense of dread. Regret for not comforting Solace and Svedka like he should've, regret for running away instead of facing the problem.
What a cruel bitch, regret was.
"The sting never seems to fade, does it?" Warrick murmurs, as if knowing what Rou was feeling. Both are looking up to the stars now, their hearts with the souls of the dead. Diable Rouge cannot bring himself to look the bay in the face, and he wonders if he feels the same.
"No, it's always there," The chaser speaks, nearly a whisper. "And it always seems to linger...the pain." He feels the tears burning on the brim of his eyelid, but he sniffles instead. "Some things you just never get over."
And it was true. One can get over heartbreak, over depression, but the death of someone they love? Well, that never seemed to go away, and Diable Rouge had accepted this inevitability, no matter how bad it hurt.
Warrick. An acquaintance, Tang's lover and the twin's father. One whom he didn't know personally, but that was an amazing parent to his children. The sting of guilt comes back, and his heart fills with an overwhelming sense of dread. Regret for not comforting Solace and Svedka like he should've, regret for running away instead of facing the problem.
What a cruel bitch, regret was.
"The sting never seems to fade, does it?" Warrick murmurs, as if knowing what Rou was feeling. Both are looking up to the stars now, their hearts with the souls of the dead. Diable Rouge cannot bring himself to look the bay in the face, and he wonders if he feels the same.
"No, it's always there," The chaser speaks, nearly a whisper. "And it always seems to linger...the pain." He feels the tears burning on the brim of his eyelid, but he sniffles instead. "Some things you just never get over."
And it was true. One can get over heartbreak, over depression, but the death of someone they love? Well, that never seemed to go away, and Diable Rouge had accepted this inevitability, no matter how bad it hurt.
in the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.
@[Warrick]
@[Warrick]
11-24-2017, 01:42 PM
like the sun swallowed up by the earth
He hides beneath his silence, the sadness just beneath the delicate skin that moves over the muscles of his clenching jaw line. The hard angles of his face rest expressionlessly as he stares into the distant horizon where the volcano looms, gentle starlight falling against their muscled shoulders as the two stand side by side. Diable Rouge’s vulnerability shatters his very core, leaving the bay feeling open and raw as his own wounds begin to fester at his remembrance of them, the comforting silence between the stallions growing with the stirring of their thoughts and their losses. Warrick’s heart wrenches, tight and quickly beating in his chest; suddenly, he misses Tangerine more than he has perhaps ever had. The familiar spiraling feeling causes him to hold his breath as it catches in his throat, feeling cold despite the warmth of the Tephran landscape.Warrick’s chilling blue stare refuses to meet the gaze of Diable Rouge (hesitancy permeates the fabric of his being, shown outwardly by the slight shift in feathered wings), but he can feel the stallion’s eyes on him for a lingering moment. Warrick blinks slowly as he stares up at the dazzling display of stars that twinkle gently in the bold, black sky, inhaling deeply. He may not ever understand the absolute emptiness that comes with the loss of a child, but only the mere thought of losing Svedka or Solace is enough for him to remain beside the roan stallion, an unwavering presence in the midst of an unshakeable storm.
“I think,” he says after a long while, his robust voice breaking the silence between them, “that I would rather spend everyday remembering them, however painful, than to forget they ever existed.” Finally, for the first time since drawing up beside Diable Rouge, the winged peacekeeper turns his gaze towards him. “We must not allow ourselves to forget them,” Warrick concludes with finality, a certain seriousness in his eyes that cannot be shaken.
A few moments pass and the sound of the sea breeze increasing its gust drawing the stallion’s crystal blue gaze out towards the ocean, watching as the waves begin to froth white from the night’s strong wind. With a slight curve of his neck, he says: “I have only recently returned from traveling to Tangerine’s homeland,” he pauses, flicking his tail against his hocks, (the mention of Tangerine - their common ground - might break the sadness that is brewing between the two, at least for a moment) “how has Tephra been in my absence? Have you seen Solace lately?”
Warrick
@[Diable Rouge]
11-26-2017, 08:10 PM
Diable Rouge
>He lets Warrick's reply linger in the air for a moment. From the corner of his eye, he can see the winged man stare at him, but Diable Rouge cannot bring himself to look back. His emotions are too raw right now; they are ever-changing like the tide before them, and silently he wonders if the pain will ever subside. Maybe his heart was made to be broken.
No, He tells himself. That can't be...I wouldn't have found Aurora otherwise. He looks up to the sky, letting a puff of air exhale from his lungs. In the stars, he hopes Kaiode is running free with his own mother. He hopes they are happy, he hopes he's making them proud.
"I could never forget him," He speaks finally, two-toned hues reluctantly peeling away from the black night and towards the sea. "I think of him every day, Warrick. I just wish it wasn't as painful as it was the moment it happened." The burning, aching feeling in his chest never seemed to retreat, no matter what he did to comfort himself. His heart continued to lay shattered in his chest, and he wondered if it would ever dim, even just the slightest bit.
"...have you seen Solace lately?" The question pulls him out of his trance, and again that feeling of regret creeps up his spine. He closes his eyes now - why hadn't he done more? Why hadn't he said something to her?
"Despite the occasional Sylvan trespasser, Tephra has been well. I guard it with my life," His reply is quick, professional. It's almost as if has completely diverged from the heart-felt response he had given a moment earlier. "As for Solace..." His voice trails mid-sentence, a lump forming in his throat. "I...I haven't seen her." He finally meets his companion's gaze. "I'm sorry, Warrick."
in the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.
@[Warrick]
@[Warrick]
11-27-2017, 09:10 PM
like the sun swallowed up by the earth
The pain is seared into his very being; bridled tightly into the sharp angles of Diable Rouge’s mottled auburn face, clinging to him in the tightness of his voice and the distraught (the sheer hopelessness) that shadows his gaze in the darkness of eternal mourning. Warrick considers this, glancing at the other stallion through the navy forelock that thinly veils his kind eyes, his indigo lips pressing together in thought and empathy. The red roan still has not met his quiet gaze, though Warrick does not expect him to do so and he neither expects him to be able to - the blue-winged stallion does not see it as rude or impolite; he would never be the one to judge another’s way of grieving. Instead he frowns, wishing that somehow his words had quelled the roaring beast that tears through him, but realizing it has not. The silence envelops the stallions once more, the wind gently brushing against the darkness of their tangled manes, stirring the soft cobalt of Warrick’s feathers that stretch loosely at his sides. Warrick turns from him to stare out across the horizon, following Diable Rouge’s painful stare into nothingness, as if he perhaps could see what he was imagining. Had he known that the other was envisioning Kaiode galloping throughout the stars, Warrick would have smiled. Instead, his chest rises and falls steadily with a certain tightness that is familiar; grief welcomes him like an old friend.
“I could never forget him.”
A single navy-tipped ear flicks towards the other stallion.
“I think of him everyday, Warrick. I just wish it wasn’t as painful as it was the moment it happened.”
Warrick’s ears flip lazily at the side of his head, as if in defeat. A sigh rattles in his chest - deep and long and weary - though not of exasperation, but as if in agreement. They were left behind; it was and will always continue to be their burden to bear for their entire lifetime.
He does not try to console him further. No advice, no gentle words to try and soothe the aching soul that was before him (band aids don’t fix bullet holes, yes?). The two were strangers, but Warrick needs him to know that he is not unlike him and, if anything, are more alike than they would like to be.
“No one ever told me that grief feels so much like fear,” he admits to Diable Rouge, his robust voice near a whisper as he shares something so personal and delicate with the stallion beside him.
Diable Rouge responds to his shift in conversation quickly, easily answering and updating him. He snorts softly at the admittance of not seeing his buckskin daughter. He realizes now that his companion has turned to look at him, and Warrick meets the gaze with a gentle eye and a quiet smile. “Do not apologize, my friend. She’s nearly grown, I shouldn’t be so worried,” he says to him, but Warrick cannot help the tension that rises into the way he stands, or the way his wings fidget at his sides anxiously.
Warrick
@[Diable Rouge]
11-30-2017, 07:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2017, 03:12 PM by Diable Rouge.)
Diable Rouge
>The devil in Diable Rouge's blood stream pulls at the strings of his heart as their conversation shifts. The chaser, at one point in his life, never cried, never showed emotion. He was completely numb, because sometimes being numb was easier than feeling pain.
But as he stands, listening to Warrick dismiss his apology, he allows his guilt, his hurt, all his deep-set and well-hidden emotions to soak into each bone in his body. It slides down his spine and into the bones caging his heart. It seeps into each pore and crevasse along the outline of his defined face, it runs through his muscles and into the vary marrow of his soul.
He can no longer contain it. Tears flow silently from his two colored hues, and he shakes his head.
"She'll still be your baby, even if she's a hundred years old," He mutters at first, sighing. "No, Warrick. I should apologize. I ran away from her...I made her feel like I was angry at her. I did nothing to comfort her, or let her know it wasn't her fault. I just..." His gaze shifts downward, as he stares at the sand through his good eye. "I just wish I would've been there, instead of being obsessed with my own grief and guilt. I should've been stronger, for all of them." Those words sends his eyes back to the sky at which they had begun, and he lifts his shoulders as he inhales deeply. He knew that he needed closure, but most importantly, Solace needed it.
But as he stands, listening to Warrick dismiss his apology, he allows his guilt, his hurt, all his deep-set and well-hidden emotions to soak into each bone in his body. It slides down his spine and into the bones caging his heart. It seeps into each pore and crevasse along the outline of his defined face, it runs through his muscles and into the vary marrow of his soul.
He can no longer contain it. Tears flow silently from his two colored hues, and he shakes his head.
"She'll still be your baby, even if she's a hundred years old," He mutters at first, sighing. "No, Warrick. I should apologize. I ran away from her...I made her feel like I was angry at her. I did nothing to comfort her, or let her know it wasn't her fault. I just..." His gaze shifts downward, as he stares at the sand through his good eye. "I just wish I would've been there, instead of being obsessed with my own grief and guilt. I should've been stronger, for all of them." Those words sends his eyes back to the sky at which they had begun, and he lifts his shoulders as he inhales deeply. He knew that he needed closure, but most importantly, Solace needed it.
in the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.
@[Warrick]
@[Warrick]
12-02-2017, 10:41 AM
like the sun swallowed up by the earth
It seems that the darkness of grief and sadness has enveloped them like a cloak, refusing to alleviate and disperse with the sun’s rising - a subtle change in the dark sky, warmth and brightness just on the horizon - but not for them, and not for Diable Rouge. The tears flow freely, staining the sharpness of his cheeks a rust-colored brown, darkening beneath his eyes and glistening in the first morning’s light as the Tephran sun begins to rise above the nearby ocean’s waters. Warrick’s ears flick backwards slightly in sadness, his heart breaking for the fellow man next to him, and cannot help the way his muzzle finds the roan’s shoulder, pressing a gesture of encouragement and hopefully understanding into the other stallion’s flesh.The blue-winged stallion allows him his confession, listening patiently as all of the emotions and guilt falls from his lips - Warrick can tell that Diable Rouge has been holding onto these thoughts for a long while (far too long) and despite the harshness he plagues onto himself, Warrick cannot help but wonder if now a weight has been lifted by his confession, or if somehow the darkness did not seem as unclear as it did before. Patiently he listens, though the blue of his eyes darken with the bitterness of Diable Rouge’s “should-have” statements. Warrick pulls his chin to himself, finding his gaze wandering through the sunrise soaked ocean - a bleary grey and pink sky stands before them, smoke from the volcano causing a hazy fog to hang low on the horizon.
“We all grieve differently.”
Warrick states this solidly, his voice unwavering.
“Solace understands this.” An ear flicks to Diable Rouge, his peripheral gaze shifting towards him. “Though she may wish to understand more, just as I now understand.” A suggestion, not a command, to reconcile with the buckskin and white mare, to ease the strife and guilt that shadows his darkened mind. “Your apology does not belong to me, Diable Rouge. I harbor no ill-will towards you or what happened that day.” The stallion tosses his head, a sharp snort leaving his nostrils as sunlight begins to stretch across the shoreline, illuminating in golden rays along the sandy beach.
Diable Rouge inhales deeply, and Warrick finds himself drawing in a long breath as well, exhaling slowly. “You can spend your life trying to sift through what you could have done better, but what good do ‘should-haves’ do? You are stronger now; it doesn’t matter what you were before, not anymore.”
He pauses, the sunlight reflecting in the blue irises of his eyes as it sparkles on the rolling waves, a new day beginning. “If you find her, Diable, will you tell her that not a second has gone by without me thinking of her?” He turns to look at the stallion that he feels he can truly call friend, with the deep and heavy conversation that had lasted them most of the night, his kind eyes pleading. “And that I will see her soon.”
Warrick
@[Diable Rouge]
I saw that Diable is in Hyaline now (yay!). Warrick still has yet to find out that she's gone there and is now ruling, so maybe we can do another thread soon where Diable lets him know where she is, so that he can go visit? <3
12-03-2017, 03:32 PM
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Diable Rouge
>But what do 'should-haves' do? You're stronger NOW; It doesn't matter what you were before, not anymore...
Those words cause Diable Rouge's heart to stop. He had lived an entire existence wondering what he could have done better, what he should have done. When his mother was murdered, he felt guilty because he could've been stronger for her. He could've fought harder for her. When Kaiode jumped to his untimely death, he wished he had watched him closer. After he left Tephra, he regretted not talking to Solace about what had happened that day.
The truth of the matter was, was that what happened in the past was just that: the past. Living a life of regret wasn't going to change what had happened to the ones he loved, and it wasn't going to change how his life was now. The only thing he could fix in his life was himself and his future. If he was ever going to live a life he was proud of, he would have to do something he had avoided for way too long now.
He had to find Solace.
As the morning sun's rays crest over the horizon, he looks to his companion. Warrick, someone he hardly knew, giving him such an enlightening revelation. Someone who had become a friend. He nods to him.
"When I find her, Warrick, I will let her know how you've missed her. I'll be back," He walks closer to the waters edge, and turns to look back at his winged friend. "Thank you, Warrick...for everything." And with that, he wades chest-deep into the water, away from Tephra, to find his long-lost light.
Those words cause Diable Rouge's heart to stop. He had lived an entire existence wondering what he could have done better, what he should have done. When his mother was murdered, he felt guilty because he could've been stronger for her. He could've fought harder for her. When Kaiode jumped to his untimely death, he wished he had watched him closer. After he left Tephra, he regretted not talking to Solace about what had happened that day.
The truth of the matter was, was that what happened in the past was just that: the past. Living a life of regret wasn't going to change what had happened to the ones he loved, and it wasn't going to change how his life was now. The only thing he could fix in his life was himself and his future. If he was ever going to live a life he was proud of, he would have to do something he had avoided for way too long now.
He had to find Solace.
As the morning sun's rays crest over the horizon, he looks to his companion. Warrick, someone he hardly knew, giving him such an enlightening revelation. Someone who had become a friend. He nods to him.
"When I find her, Warrick, I will let her know how you've missed her. I'll be back," He walks closer to the waters edge, and turns to look back at his winged friend. "Thank you, Warrick...for everything." And with that, he wades chest-deep into the water, away from Tephra, to find his long-lost light.
in the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.
@[Warrick] Yes! When he comes back I'll make a post for him and Warrick
@[Warrick] Yes! When he comes back I'll make a post for him and Warrick