01-30-2018, 10:38 AM
The river is not the sea – but if she closes her eyes, and listen to where the rain has turned slothful, idle waters that move little but for the brush of wind against its surface into a rippling murmur she can almost remember. But the river is not the sea, and there is no sand here, only wet-earth, muddy and brown and owing nothing to the softness of dune at the ocean´s edge. So she turns her head instead to the north; to the distant rise of mountains and the muddled tufts of tree and leaf at their feet. She admires the flowers and the willow and she wonders if it is there that Garbage´s heart lie, deep with the roots of growing things, knowing the eternal solemnity of sap and bark and bough.
”I have a dream that escape me every night; water I try to catch on the sand” she muses in response to him and her words are soft, with the sound of wave-breaking in their tone. ”Maybe sometimes the why´s and what´s are best left forgotten”
Her cheek turns rosy with the dawn of Armageddon at their closeness. Has he sensed how part of her longs for his touch; for his boy´s heart; for the gentleness she brought to the surface like dew?
She wonders if his would be a serpent´s embrace and an Antarctic kiss.
But she is starch white and pristine like a porcelain-doll in this new world - and she should not harbor such thoughts, for if she does – she will slough this skin in favor of something else.
She realizes this and shame softens the lines of her face and returns them to Saedís and away from the ghost of her past, and in regaining herself she is childlike and small once again.
”I suppose anything that makes us happy is a gift to cling to and cultivate”
She smiles, and in the knowing, she finds some sort of strange respite from the heart-knowledge that there is something more, something further and wider and wiser than herself, something deeper than the deepest elm-roots, deeper still than ocean depths.
”I think I could be happy here” she says.
With you. She doesn´t. For to do so would be both lie and insanity.