[mature] [MATURE]Nuage.

[Nuage]

To Nuage it is a good thing. It is the first time that one of them says those words, finally having found the courage to say what they both feel. They have been together long enough by now. So how could their love be something bad?

The way Nihlus' lips move with his tells him that he is right. Nuage's eyes flutter closed and his lips part ever so slightly, softly moaning into Nih's addictive mouth. Through their kiss he can feel his dom's love for him, and like a good lover ánd sub Nuage tries to convey his own love through the kiss in return. He might have never said it, but he is head over heels in love with Nihlus. Ever since their first meeting – which definitly hadn't been like the book – he had fallen, hard.

And hard he falls too when Nihlus pulls back. The hand on his chest holds him down, and Nuage is unable to sit up and follow his lover. Confusion, together with hurt, swirl in his eyes. He pushes himself up at his elbows, gazing up at Nihlus through his wat lashes. ”W-why?” he stutters, struggling with the lump in his throat. ”D-did I d-do something wr-wrong?”

His eyes widen when Nihlus tumbles to the ground. This has Nuage on his knees on the bed, crawling after his lover, but the hard gaze is enough to keep him frozen in the middle of Nihlus’ large bed. The tears that have appeared in his eyes are now being shed, rolling down his cheeks as the look in his eyes is one of sheer desperation. What the fuck was happening? Why was Nihlus angry with him? Had he been bad? Had he misread his dom? No, that couldn’t be it. Nihlus would punish him then, not shove him away.

It’s not a good thing. Nuage flinches, as if been hit in the face.

It’s terrible. Nuage gasps for air, trying to fight the sobs that threaten to break free.

I’m a fucking monster. Nuage can only stare at Nihlus disbelievingly with teary eyes.

The seconds that pass feel like hours at the very least. Nuage can only stare at his dark haired lover, crying silently to himself. Nihlus had just turned him down, giving him a blow he does not deserve. It hurt. Hurt so fucking much. Nu trusted Nih with his life, and the man he trusted wasn’t a monster. Isn’t a monster.

More shaky and sharp breaths as he tries to fight his sob. ”N-no” he manages to get out, his own gaze now more like glaring as he looks at Nihlus through wet eyelashes. ”You aren’t.” Not to Nuage at least. He had crawled towards the edge of the bed while he had spoken, closing the distance between them.

Boldly he drops to the ground, and from there crawls in between Nihlus parted legs. Bolder than he has ever been he reaches out to touch Nihlus, gently prying the man’s fingers away from his hair to stop the self-torture. His own fingers slide through Nih’s locks, while his left hand comes to lie on his lover’s cheek. ”You love me,” his voice is soft, but as clear as a cloudless day. ”I love you,” he pauses, staring up at Nihlus to make sure the older man heard him loud and well. ”And that is all that fucking matters.”

Nihlus had never done anything that would hurt him, or not in a way that would last. Their games and experiments had been welcomed by Nuage, as each of them led him into subspace. A good kind of pain. And not heart-breaking pain like this. ”So shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

Nuage

I wanted it to be you