"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
03-29-2018, 04:52 PM (This post was last modified: 03-29-2018, 04:55 PM by Kagerus.)
Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.
I'm alive. (You deserve to be fucking dead. Rotting. You are worthless.)
There's an emptiness inside of me that Abysm used to fill; my son... (It's a miracle you're alive and yet you abandoned him. What kind of sick joke is that, Kagerus? Who the fuck do you think you are, bending the rules? It'll kill you one day. Sooner than you think.)
I'm not abandoning him, he's just with Rapt for now - I can't bring them to Hyaline yet, it's too much activity for them. (You're ashamed of his existence. Ashamed that you lived, after proclaiming to the world that you would die. Do everyone a favour and go kill yourself - it'd only make things right.)
The lake looks particularly deep, today. I am standing shoulder deep, nose barely above the crystalline surface, eyes staring into my reflection as this conversation goes on inside of my head. My shallow breathing doesn't even distort the image; I am face to face with the monster I am, have always been, will always be. The smell of afterbirth slowly seeps from my skin as I stand, doused in the water; my face is blank, but my mind races, attacking itself, folding in until nothing remains.
Kagerus...
I start at the whisper, losing my footing and slipping beneath the water with a cry that gets sharply cut off by the all-consuming waters. At first, I struggle to right myself in the shallow water - but then, I am drifting, bubbles seeping from between my parted lips. The serenity of the blue-green haze enraptures me, calms my screaming mind to the point that I want to take the water into my mouth, to taste the freedom it so easily offers me. My eyes drift shut, body losing all muscle tone, my being finally at peace with what is to come --
Something buffets me from beneath and suddenly I am above the water, coughing up a lung of water and completely disoriented. There's the sound of someone talking to me, but I can't make out their words; my coughs echo across the lake, and my figure jolts violently with each expulsion of water. Eventually, however, the crescendo of my suicide attempt dies down, and my brain is forced to take in its surroundings: I am forced to see her.
Solace.
(A night spent in her embrace, with her tears staining my skin; I remember her like the moon remembers the sun, a distance between them so impossible and yet her light reflecting off of me. When the night terrors come and the voice in my head attacks me, I realize now that it's her face I always imagine to ward off these evils: and yet here, in this life, I have just tried to kill myself before her very eyes. I am truly worthless to her, now; no matter how much I beg, no matter how much I keen and cry... She will not have me. I am my own destruction.)
"Please," I sputter, tears rolling down my already wet face. "Please d-don't leave me."
Kagerus
sweet nothing
@[Solace] uhm so this spiralled wildly out of control ENJOY.
How many days started the way this one did - Solace wakes, Solace flys, Solace watches her kingdom from the sky Alone
She had held to her routine with religious zeal as her world was crumbling. More had happened to her this winter than the entire twelve-month before it, and her mind was reeling. Her experience with Castile had shown her the fault lines her world was built on, and she had kept to herself as much as possible over the last few weeks. She was lucky to be alive after the encounter which should have been her first experience with a lover.
Solace shakes her head as if her troubles would be that easy to displace, and tilting her weight forward she begins to descend from the clouds.
It was peaceful above them - a world of her own. But she knew she couldn't hide stay there forever. As the world below becomes clear, he finds herself above the lake. Her pale form where continues to dips in and out of the low-hanging clouds. Another spring shower was on its way.
There is a dark shape near the shore and she watches it, lazily, as she glides. The figure gathers her attention as she realizes who it is, but she continues to circle above the expanse of the lake, content to watch.
She is selfish in her confusion.
But what she sees surprises her, and the other mare's actions cause a cold dread to ripple through her gut. "Kagerus!" She gasps, and instinct drives her into the water from her perch in the sky. Solace maneuvers her body below Kagerus and extends her broad wings. As she feels the weight of the other's body across her shoulders, she uses her wings to move water, propelling them towards the shore to spill their bodies into the shallows.
Perfect Kagerus, who always knew the right thing to say, lies in a motionless heap - intertwined with Solace's own heaving, churning chest and limbs.
But the water leaves Kagerus' lungs, in a violent expulsion and Solace know they are safe. She moves to disentangle herself from the auburn splashed mare, pulling a wing from below her front leg, so that she can bring their faces together. Their cheeks meet and as Kagerus' tears mingle with her own she doesn’t allow any space between them, not after those words leave Kagerus’ lips.
“Don’t say that- you know I won’t.” She commands, with an intensity that could easily be mistaken for anger by one who did not know her well. "You got me, I'm not leaving you." she re-affirms in a softer tone.
The panic she had felt is draining away leaving her cold. Still, the hammering of her heart can be seen, and felt, in the network of veins which form a lacework pattern across her shoulders. Her jugular leaps to this rhythm, though her body has fallen into stillness. A shiver passes over her skin as heavy droplets of rain begin to fall around them.
"Com'on Kag," she pleads gently, as she begins to gather her legs below her. With an effort she pulls herself away to glance around, just now noticing that the shelter of Svedka's willow tree is just up the bank. "This way, right here... it's only a few steps." She attempts to nudge Kagerus to her feet as she finds her own, offering her side for the frail mare to lean on if needed.
She doesn’t ask why, she doesn’t ask how - the pain and surprise are still too raw for her to express herself the way she would like to. Her practical side always took over when her heart was faltering, and for now, she just wants to be alone with Kagerus - in a dry, warm place where the truth of what just happened will not be so terrifying.
Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.
(She was lucky to be alive after the encounter which should have been her first experience with a lover.)
It is the sound of her voice that wills my lungs to breathe again, to sputter and cough. (Funny, that both she and I can say that. Funny that we would take lovers besides one another despite the warmth between us.)
Her cheek on mine reminds me why I ought to live; her wings around me remind me why I want to. (And yet funnier still that here, as water pathetically streams from my nostrils and my voice cracks with self-pity, she holds me. She holds me.)
Her words are harsh and I buckle further beneath them, feeling the weight of her love for me like a thousand mountains, reminding me of how utterly insignificant and undeserving I am of her beautiful presence. My sobs bring my head to tuck between my knees until I'm balled up there on the beach; and yet somehow I am wriggling closer to her too, pressing as much of myself to her as I can, simultaneously drawing into myself as well as into her.
Her voice comes again before I can attempt to compose myself and reply to her initial words - but my fragmented mind leaves no room for reconsideration. Instead, at her bidding and nudging, I make my way to my hooves, stumbling once - but Solace is there, and she catches me without hesitation, proving herself.
Perfect Solace. With a heart of gold. The treasure of my life.
Without realizing it, we've arrived in some sort of shelter, willow fronds all around us. Pretty, comes an intrusive thought, starkly out of place considering the context of why we now stand here, huddled together and shivering, tears still rolling down our cheeks as the hysteria winds down into melancholia. She's there beside me but it's not enough - my mind pulls and begs for more, and I am in no state to deny it.
"I want you to hold me again tonight," comes my choked whisper. "But not here..." The pounding of her pulse reverberates against my cheek as I tuck my head and press it to her throat, moulding myself to her shuddering figure. "Come with me, Solace..." My words bend with sleep, contorting in our ears - hallucinogenic. "Please..."
On the other side, I awaken to the linens of a bed pressed against my ivory skin. It's cold, and my auburn hair (wet still from the lake) clings to my skin. Goosebumps alight across my naked body, though I could easily dream them away - but I don't want to. I want the reality of this night, even if I am dreaming it.
The room itself is mundane, for I did not come to dream of a house - no, I came to dream of her. Desperate, I reach across the bed - for the last time I had attempted to take her here with me (that night under the stars, when I told her of my doomsday) she had stayed awake all night, denying me the comfort of her body pressed to mine.
My heart stops as my hand brushes against hers; the pain of reality escaping as I realize she has followed.
04-10-2018, 10:36 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2018, 11:07 AM by Solace.)
Solace
The crumpled form of the auburn and cream mare heads Solace's words, allowing herself to be guided below the arching willow boughs. The air is dense in their shelter, made even moreso when Kagerus seems to return to life. Their bodies are pressing together again, both tear-stained and disheveled but neith seems to care. Solaces breath is shallow as her pulse rises to match that of her companions as she begins to speak.
With her words, Kagerus takes control in a situation where Solace should be her comforter. The world around them shifts as Solace is taken by sleep. Something which had always been difficult for her coms easily now - too easily. She is dragged under, and she resists, but only for a moment -only until she hears her name softly leaving Kagerus' lips. Then she follows, allowing herself to slip below the wave.
She can trust Kagerus.
Solace wakes, standing in the room Kagerus has created, beside the bed where the girl who is Kagerus lays. Her pale body is rigged in the cold damp, and her golden hair falls in lake-wet tendrils over her shoulders and across her breasts. The scars Castile had given her have followed her to this world, she can feel them without even looking.
She blinks once, but she does not look around, her blue eyes are focused on the strange creature before her - the woman. A quiet confusion can be seen in her features, but that was nothing new to her when she was with Kagerus. Surprisingly at home in her new body, Solace softly pads across the cool wood floor until her thighs are pressed against the linens. A hand is outstretched to her and all at once she finds the soft comfort of the mattress. As she draws her knees in front of her to sit on her heels, she stretches out her own lithe fingers towards her companion. Her heart aches as their hands touch in a way which is impossible in the real world, but Kagerus is here, wherever here is, and this is real enough.
She wants to apologize - for losing her first battle, for not being strong enough, for letting go of her duties so completely in her disappointment and hurt.
That she was so weak as to let her experience with Castile distract her from everything that mattered.
For not asking where Kagerus' child was - because she didn't know what to say when she was told the answer.
But instead, she says "I'm here," as her hips sink to one side, and she draws the hand that rests in her own to her lips. She places a kiss to the palm before tilting her cheek into the hand, feeling the soft touch so unlike Castile's charged and heaving, blood-drawing grasp.
Her hooded eyes lift again, searching the ageless face of her friend with more clairity than she had felt in weeks. "Show me why you brought us here."
caretaker of hyaline
@[Kagerus] sorry for the wait D:
trying to break this funk
Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.
The light sheet seems to levitate over my body as goosebumps rise and stiffen my pale hairs, a kind of bodily magic that I know is inspired by her presence. I've brought others to this place, to where hands can cup and mouths can kiss (Rapt, namely), and it's yet to be for a reason besides one. But I daren't hope for that yet, not as I wait with baited breath for her hand to join mind in the sea of silk; not as my heart pounds louder even than when I'd been below the waves of the lake.
I'm here.
The angelic words are accompanied by the touch of her hand against mine, and an audible breath of air released between slit lips. I'm here. They echo over and over, and for a moment times seem to stand still, the sinews of her finger tips more intricate against my own than anything else has ever been; it's as if I'm touching the moon, softly, with a reverence that such celestial goddesses rightfully deserve.
In the pale light of the moon's beauty, I forget my woes; son and suicide fall to the wayside as her cool lips press to the palm of my left hand. There's nothing else in the world except her; and like a drug, I've already become addicted.
Trembling, I lift my eyes from her porcelain waist, feeling my hand tighten around her face when at last I see it: see her.
Blue eyed as always, with locks of golden hair that lay plastered to her angular collar bones and to the rounded mass that lie just below; Solace is more beautiful now than I've ever remembered her, completely vulnerable as our skin mixes. There's words on her lips but I almost can't hear them, mesmerized by how her cheek curves to meet her cupid lips, and by the slip of her waist from ribs to hip. For a moment, my silence and lingering gaze is her only answer.
Beautiful Solace.
"I want to be with you, Solace," comes my hushed response. Slowly but with an unmistakable intention, I move my hand from her soft cheek to slowly trace down her neck, to her clavicle, just brushing her breast until the palm of my hand alights on her hipbone. There's a weightedness to my gaze. A need.
"You've been a friend to me for sometime..."
Without warning I prop myself up on my right elbow, leaning in closer to Solace whilst pulling her hips closer to me, too. "More than a friend, actually..."
The words blow between us like a cool breeze, and I smile at the sight of her skin prickling with shivers, and of her nipples hardening, too. "This is the best way I know how to thank you. To show you that... I care about you."
I blink, and the movement feels slowed, time warping to accompany the sweetness with which I speak, and the tenderness with which my eyes move so daringly from her lips to her pale blue gaze. A reaffirmation comes next: "I care about you, Solace. More than you know."
Her breath is warm on my face, and I realize that I've been progressively narrowing the gap between us, longing desperately to taste her lips between my own to the point of subconscious action. The sound of my heart pounding suddenly stops me from being able to speak any more, and then there's just the stillness: our breath baited in tandem, fingers twitching on skin that begs to be ravished.
She's more than a friend.
She's more than a shoulder to cry on.
She's more than anyone has been to me before.
Solace had little experience with lovers, but Kagerus' wandering gaze makes her intentions clear, even for Solace in this uncharted territory. She remains silent as Kagerus' heated touch is tracing the line and curves of her new body; leaving a trail of goosebumps and blue light and adding weight to each of her words.
Then her palm is pressing into Solace's hip-bone, and her fingertips alighting on the fulness beyond. With a possessive grasp, her hips are being pulled forward and panic flairs, hot and fast in her chest. She closes her eyes as she feels Castile on top of her again, inescapable and expanding.
"Wait," she breathes as she takes a moment to remind herself that she is safe here, with this woman. And right on cue, Kaguers is reassuring her with a voice melodic and addictive in a way Solace had never fully realized before. "This is the best way I know how to thank you. To show you that... I care about you." The unpleasant sensation fades, quickly replaced with a warm glow, an ache in her belly, and she opens her eyes to find Kagerus' burning gaze.
"I care about you, Solace. More than you know." Unintentionally her eyes sink to watch the way Kageru's supple, rose-bud lips form each word- and the heaviness in her tone is Solace's undoing.
Her new body responds to the others touch and Solace struggles to catch her breath as she experiences each new sensation under the exploration of Kagerus' fingertips. She relaxes, allowing her hips to be pulled forward and her knees to splay.Their bellies meet, and Solace lets her gaze sink lower. With a gentle touch, she brushes away the auburn hair which falls over Kagerus shoulder, afterward letting her hand glide down the length of the other's arm to grasp Kagerus' wrist.
"I don't know what I'm doing," she confesses, but her eyes are already closing as she does, and her lips find the welcoming softness of Kagerus' own. Behind her lids, there is a flash of light as she finally tastes her - and between her legs, an unbearable heat is growing. She melts into the kiss and she presses every inch of herself onto Kagerus.
She doesn't care that this woman has been here before, with others - it is too late to care now. Her face burns and her head feels as if it floating, and a need has been awakened. Solace pulls Kagerus' lower lip between her teeth returns one of Kagerus' hands to her collarbone, dragging pressing the other's pale fingers into her skin.
"I want you to leave a mark." She gasps between kisses as the force of her grasp digs Kagerus' nails into her delicate, white skin. "I want you to make me yours."
Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.
Wait.
For a moment, my heart stops. (You've gone too far, slut. Pushed too hard. The only friend you've truly had and you press her for sex. Why did you let her save you, before, if you were only going to rape her now? Disgusting, worthless, whore --)
But she is not denying me. With the softening of her expression comes the restarting of my heart, and my voice picks up its melodic whispering. Gradually, the scathing voice of my subconscious recedes until there is once again only the sound of our syncopated breathing filling the room, an audible reminder of the arousal that builds between our legs.
My fingers curl possessively as she props her hips closer to mine, and my own knees open to intertwine with her own. She's warm between her legs, and with her belly pressed to mine like this, it's impossible for me to not slide my leg all the way up between hers... Or rather, as her hand slides to my wrist (causing my eyes to flutter closed and for my teeth to bite my lower lip in anticipation), there is no part of me that wants to deny her the pleasure of some pressure between her legs.
I don't know what I'm doing, comes Solace's silky voice, but before I have time to reassure her that all she needs to know here is me, she's already contradicting herself. The gentle press of her silky lips to my own sends a snap of electricity through me, aroused by the unexpected forwardness of my beautiful queen. As my paramour melts into me, I succumb to the energy coursing through me and pull her closer. The hand that had been on her hip slides to her lower back, forcing any space between us to disappear; and the other hand goes to the back of her head, fingers tightening in the thick strands of her pale blonde hair; I'm lost to her touch, a victim of her love, not having bargained for the goddess I would be bedding tonight.
Her hand is on mine, pulling it to her heart, pressing it there firmly; I want you to leave a mark. I pull away from her, brow furrowing in concern, my nutmeg eyes trying to catch her blue ones to see if this request is genuine. How unexpected that my sweet, sweet Solace would long for such rough play; and yet my hearts pounds with a need to please my queen, with a need to see her writhe and squirm beneath my touch.
I want you to make me yours.
With this sinful reaffirmation, my concern evaporates, and I'm pressing her on to her back, flat against the cool bed sheets. My gaze remains firmly on hers, a smoky smile curling the fringes of my lips as her breath billows out of her from the force of my hands manipulating her body. God.
"My beautiful Solace..." I murmur, finally giving her what she'd asked for, curling my fingers and dragging my hand, leaving rake marks in the wake of my fingernails (sharpened just to the point of pleasure). "You've always been mine." My hand gradually comes to rest on her left breast, and I feel its rounded firmness with a tight squeeze of my hand. The ravenous expression on my face softens as I continue to readjust my grasp on the flesh above her heart; I care for her so, so deeply.
But the warmth between her legs demands to be sated, and the tender moment passes.
"My baby girl..." The words are cut off as I firmly move her face to the side with my nose and find my mark on the curve of her slender neck. My tongue meets her flesh first, followed quickly by my mouth, sucking her in and feeling her mold to the pressure of my teeth. Here, too, I leave a mark; more than one; love bites trailing down her neck like falling rose petals.
The hand that'd been on her breast now rests again on her hipbone; but with a far more devious intention.
Just as my roving lips come to the crest of her breasts, I pause, looking up at her with a devotion unique to my kind of servitude; my cheeks are flushed bright red, but so are hers; a smile alights on my lips as I once again take in her undeniable loveliness.
"My Queen..." Without breaking eye contact, I press a kiss to her hardened nipple; then again, with a sucking and swirling action as my hips dig needily into hers. "I am yours to command."
Kagerus
sweet nothing
@[Solace]
Uhm. Lesbian smut may be the most fun yet. SCREECH.
On the back of her head, between the golden strands of her hair, on her back, on her heart - Kagerus' hands are there, everywhere, guiding her. She is overcome, and the heat between them is almost unbearable. Her cheeks burn, her eyes burn, everything burns in the most delicious way as the lake water from that other, insignificant world is steaming off her skin.
Then she is pressed down into the bed, blissfully helpless under the fury of Kagerus' lips and skilled fingers. Her eyes closed as her unexplored body shudders under the conflicting sensations. There is pressure below her collarbone as nails begin to drag across her skin, causing flushed streak to bloom on the field of alabaster skin. She sucks the air between her teeth and her chest expands as she receives what she had asked for, and the hand settles. Her blue eyes open, eagerly seeking out the golden hues of Kagerus' heavy gaze, expectant and curious. Solace lays below her ambassador with her hair spread in a halo around her, her face glowing.
"you've always been mine."
She is surprised to see her lover's features soften, as the lustful energy changes. There is a tenderness there that she had not expected but to see - but it causes her heart to beat a little faster as a trusting smile puls at the corner of her flushed lips. She is at a loss for words and she reaches her face to place a gentle kiss on the lips she can't stop staring at.
And then again, she is at Kagerus mercy. The delicate, pale flesh of her throat is easily bruised by each greedy kiss to her neck and the heat between her legs builds, sore and raw. "Oh," she moans, "Oh Kagurus I want you." As her lover's slick tongue finds its way lower, to the hardened peak of her breast, the pain is unbearable and her breathing is labored.
"My Queen..." Her lover pauses in her explorations and their eyes meet.
"You work magic," she breathes as she realizes her own hands had been pulling the other closer, probably leaving marks of their own on Kagerus back. Solace's grip softens and her hands gently they fall to rest in the comfortable dip of Kagerus' waist. Her eyes float across the beautiful swells and plains of her lover's body for a moment before Kagerus hips drive into her own. Her eyes close as her back arches, in yearning acceptance of whatever was to come, her hands grasping strong, tanned thighs. Even in her heaviest, guilt-riddled dreams she had never thought of the things Kagerus was doing to her, and the anticipation of that which she has never experienced leaves her fever-warm and supple. But Kageru's pauses again - awaiting direction from the Queen below her - Solace brings her lips to Kagerus ear, sucking gently on the velvety lobe before she exhales in a husky whisper."I don't have to tell you how to fuck me, do I?"
caretaker of hyaline
@[Kagerus] sjfkja i love them.
But maybe we can wrap this up and start something current for them?
Out with the golden we sew, and the lower past that crawls.
Now, to the doorway you run, to the girl that's not lost.
She's moaning for me, writhing beneath me and burning up with a passion that, though I've known before, I've never so fiercely reciprocated. I did love Rapt, he did hold me - but he didn't hold me while I cried. And he didn't love me of himself. He was one to be commanded - but Solace... She is her own entity, and into that entity doth she now invite my trembling fingers and wavering breath. She is everything to me, and I am lost to the ecstasy of her, though we have yet to even begin our true encounter here, in this dream-world.
You work magic.
The words, breathless and hot, leave goosebumps rising along the every plane of my body. Her nails leave red rivers in their wake, and I crave the pain of it, delirious to be so completely at the will of my queen. My queen. Her hands are on my thighs, needy, and it is as if I were designed by the gods to fulfill that very same need.
I don't have to tell you how to fuck me, do I?
The warmth of her words spilling across the sensitive membrane of my ear leaves me shuddering, biting harder, looking into her eyes so I can watch with sex-blank eyes and a possessive snarl as she cries my name in pleasure. We are a tangle of mouths and warm clefts and fingers, a storm of virulent femininity that leaves us both crying out and sweaty, glimmering like flowers in the morning dew, freshly born from a passion so powerful that even the sun couldn't outshine us today.
She is the warmth that I've been craving; the comfort I've been needing; the love I've been missing.
She is... My solace.
My Solace.
And as the morning sun rises and begs of us to return to our equine forms, we lay in a heap of wrists and breasts and sleepily lowered eyelids, our hearts beating the same tune. My hand runs through her golden hair, and my body presses to her as our breathing slows. My grasp on this world gently falls from my hand as things often do when sleep takes us; but just as the dream is fading, my cupid lips press to the high plane of her cheek bone to murmur a last goodbye.
"I love you, Solace. I love you."
We awake, in the shelter of a willow tree; pressed together; hearts beating the same tune.
Kagerus
sweet nothing
@[Solace] I spewed out random poetic garbage thanks bye
![[Image: kag]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2e8039018ce4dff6112c167ec23e886a/tumblr_p72zjit7wC1s5a0qvo1_100.png)
