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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [mature]  Stained White - any
    #1
    She does’t remember how long she stood there leaning against a rock that had been stained by scrapes of her blood. She doesn’t remember how long it took her to cry it out; how long after her leaning stance she had laid down on the grass that smelled of sex and blood and musky sweat - a sweet scent that sickens her now and will for a long time.

    She does remember standing up and shakily waggling away; slowly her dull and trembling gait was quickened into a walk, so that from above, if Solace had been flying over and hadn’t looked out for Ilma too well, it may have been a leisurely walk that she undertook to the lake.
    Because apparently her queen hadn’t been flying over during the conversation, the rape or Ilma’s soft cries either. Occupied by the political matters of Hyaline’s latest refugees no doubt.

    She doesn’t want to think what Solace or Kagerus might say. She doesn’t want to think about Svedka either - his words earlier that summer now have a bite to it. I was meant to show you that everyone in Hyaline is welcome and cared for. I’m only sorry it wasn’t me. How sorry he would be now when word came to him, she doesn’t know.

    But ultimately there is one thing she does know.

    She can’t see her daughter in this state.

    And so her pace quickens once more. Bound for the lake in a straight line - perhaps it’s not too late to wash off the filth, she rocky pieces and crumbling dust that has settled into her coat and sting into her scraped wounds. They will heal; perhaps she will tell her ebony girl that she has fallen. Perhaps she will tell everyone that that is what happened. For the sake of believing that Hyaline is still the safest place to be. Yes. Word cannot get out.
    Somewhere deep down she feels she has a part in this, too. After all, if she’d picked up the signals sooner, she might have gotten away in time. She will never be this naive around any man again. Ever. This, she promises herself.

    Unlike normally, she doesn’t hesitate to go into the icy cold water of the lake. In fact she just keeps walking and doesn’t stop until she is fully under. There, she blinks a few times to wash away the tears. And she wonders if she can find the strength to turn around for a moment.

    She takes long - a little too long for anyone watching - but then she does surface. Clean; if the same could be said for the bloodstained water, she could just be taking a summer swim to cool down.

    -mature for the subject of the thread
    Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
    Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time
    #2


    kagerus
    and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
    Come on Ilma, don't do this, c'mon c'mon c'mon --

    The words are muttered beneath my breath as I careen down the mountain adjacent to the once she's descended from, wishing for all I'm worth that I'd have dreamt of wings this morning. I slip more than once but catch myself every time, except once when a rock trips me in my haste. I don't notice the blood that drips down my right shoulder from the impact with the scraggly mountainside, too sickly mesmerized by the spot in the lake where I'd last scene Ilma softly drift beneath.

    (Two suicide attempts in less than a year, both by two of Hyaline's most known representatives. Both of us returning from a trauma that could almost not be spoken; returning to the cool embrace of the lake that tenderly promised a euphoric death and then the black silence of the afterlife. I remember the sensation well, the loose drifting and relaxing of muscles as the air bubbled from my nose; I remember thinking how lovely it would be to reverse the process, to suck in a chestful of water and to cough and choke and die. I remember trying. But what I remember most is Solace - coming up beneath me and forcing me to live. And now, she is what I choose to remember whenever the darkness comes.)

    But I won't make it down this mountain in time to be Ilma's Solace. Just as I'm giving up hope, barely able to breathe as I finally hit flat earth and gallop towards the lake, she resurfaces. Surrounded by gore, she rises from the crystalline depths as if she is a pure white angel - but a moment later, the blood has returned, coursing down her body with the help of the water droplets left behind from her swim. I want to cry at the sight of her, to collapse beside her and give up too - but that's the last thing she needs.

    With a heaving chest, I splash into the shallows, coming up around to the mare's side and coaxing her back to the shoreline. I don't say anything yet, only pressing the dark tip of my nose to her over and over again, silently reminding her that I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, thanking the gods as I we slowly make our way that she'd been stronger than I. She pulled herself out, where I needed another to do so; she wants to live, where I wanted to die.

    "Lay down, Ilma," I murmur when we come to the first of the trees, knowing that when I'd come out of the waters, the reassurance of having commands to follow re-centered my free-floating mind. It's a shaded spot we've come to, but the true darkness lies in the depths of Ilma's mind; I struggle with deciding whether to ask what happened or to respect her, but in the end I settle with a statement that represented neither option.

    "I'll kill the bastard who did this to you. Your pain will be a grain of sand in the desert of his suffering."


    Someone plz come be better at comforting ppl than Kag
    [Image: kag]
    dreamweaver
    #3
    Just after turning, she notices a presecnse. A mare, her dark colouring and spots of white reveal her as Kagerus. Ilma doesn’t think much further than that - she feels safe, she knows the mare who guides her, she’s one of the few that she knows she can trust.

    Her empty thoughts are filled with a command, lay down. And Ilma obeys simply without thought. For a while they are silent; the cold white mare with the few streaks of pink water pozing from shallow wounds and perhaps one or two cuts.

    The Kagerus speaks and vows to make him suffer who did it, but Ilma shakes her head. ”Gone now.” She hadn’t seen him and did not think would be found so easily.

    She suddenly looks up with her empty golden eyes. ”Is Tähti away?” she asks bewilderdly. She cannot be here right now. Please keep her busy, someone, please. She cannot explain this to her baby girl.
    Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this: men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.
    Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time
    #4


    kagerus
    and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
    The radiant woman - swath in blood, host to the parasite of rape - complies with the mindlessness that many victims take on post-trauma. My heart hammers in my chest, both with fury and heartbreak. I brought Ilma here, to Hyaline. In a way, that makes this my fault - but I do not dwell on that, knowing that the thought is selfish. Instead, I lower my body next to hers, careful not to touch her more than she allows, but attempting to hold her as much as I can.

    Gone now. I want to scream, but instead I only whisper: "His name, Ilma. Tell me his name." It's a soothing tone I use now, as I attempt to calm the mare into slumber; but inside, a plan is already brewing.

    When her next question comes, it shocks me out of my angry revere; Tahti? Does Ilma not remember? I frown in concern, but reach down and press the mare's head back to the earth, adding the weight of mine to her neck. "She is safe in Nerine, dear Ilma. I promise you that." Inhaling, I call my powers to mind, and already the heaviness of sleep presses into our skin. "For now, sleep."

    And in our dreams, her wounds are healed - and they shall be upon reawakening. I allow her to guide the dream as she wishes, but I carefully censor her subconscious, stopping any memories of the trauma to leak into the soft, sweetly-scented scene. Tahti is there, and the lighting is soft. I smile to see her feeling better - but I know that it will end when I can no longer keep us asleep.

    The least I can do is heal her wounds and give her a final night's good rest, before I am no longer mentally able to guide her sleep so strictly. The least I can do is be her friend, when the worst has become her.


    @[Ilma] let me know if I need to change anything Smile Also, let me know in the cbox if you're going to reply; if you're not (which is totally fine!) I'm going to assume that Ilma told Kag his name Smile
    [Image: kag]
    dreamweaver




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