[mature] I sold my soul for this ~Kagerus~

[Hestia]

"I am the least of the gods. Why would you trust me with this?"
"You're the last and most important of them all" I replied.

When Ilma came and expressed her… insults, Hestia had been inflamed with rage. How much had Kag told, how idiotic had the child been in her loose lipped vomit of what had taken place? The queen knows she is just as much to blame for this as Kag, she should have expressly demanded that the girl keep things to herself. Should have threatened her instead of bribing. But this is life, and nothing can be done to change the past. Mistakes are made, and lessons are learned. Still this issue needs to be addressed, before Kagerus can turn Hestia’s own people against her.

She does not stop at the border this time; the kingdoms are no longer strangers and they’ve agreed to welcoming one another into each other’s lands. She continues to the heart of Hyaline. Finding a pool covered in ice, her breath can be seen in small puffs of moisture, she hits it until the dull crunch of cold under her hoof changes to a sharp splash. The million shards floating in the small hole of blackness move apart giving her space to fill her mouth with some much-needed water. It’s almost painful in how cold it is. In the summer this would be refreshing, but in the winter, it burns in her belly. Her belly that expands with yet another child this year. This time much slower and much more welcome than the previous time.

The black queen almost turned back to her own borders on several occasions. Severely humiliated by her experience, and lack of strength in facing those moments. She prided herself on keeping her cool in all things. But that day… It still sends chills up her spine. Someone else knew all her pain, someone else experienced all her own experiences, someone witnessed her shame as another spilled their essence into her body. Then was able to turn a cold shoulder, going so far as to tell others the tale. At one time, Hestia had found the girl cute and willful. Now she wonders if the dreamer even has a soul. Maybe more demonic than the demon who travels at her side.

It hasn’t made a sound since she last spoke with Scorch. At least it hasn’t to Hestia. In fact, for one of the meetings it even took off to wander the beaches leaving her in peace. That day, she can still remember it, like the skies had parted and sucked away everything that soiled the air. The world so new, so fresh, so clean; she’d started laughing. Just standing there laughing in the drunkenness of the moment. All fears washed away, the world so clear and sharp in her focus. She began remembering herself. Even remembered Murc. Resulting in the condition she is in now. Swollen, and shaggy her wings the only warmth provided her in these cold months. Other than the scaly skin of the creature next to her.

HESTIA

@[Kagerus]

[Kagerus]

kagerus

and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times

Though I'm adjusting well to the weight of the crown, it is still an adjustment. It's not like I have any more duties than before; I was giving my utmost for Hyaline then, and I will continue to now. But with it's placement upon my skull comes this kind of weight of being watched and judged for my every action - and yet, few people know of my crowning yet. None, in fact. Solace is planning on calling a kingdom meeting very soon - this week I hope - and then Hyaline shall know. But the rest of the world...

Well, it seems that those people would be coming to me today.

(She wonders if I have a soul, and I wonder the same of her: how could she fault me for warning the mother of the child who was to be sent to the other kingdom without supervision that there was a demon about?)

"You're trespassing, Hestia," I call as I descend upon onyx wings to land next to the pregnant monarch. The wings are an addition today, but they are keeping me warm against the harsh chill of winter more than they are helping me fly - but upon spotting the black hag smashing Hyaline's ice for a drink of her icy waters, they'd come in handy for more than just a blanket. Settling them comfortably against my sides, I close the distance between us, expecting the worst. The hardness of my nutmeg eyes speaks that much, at least.

Pulling up in front of her, I wait. It is not my place to begin this conversation, besides to tell her that she walks where she has not been invited to. As a Queen of this land, it is not my place to grovel for forgiveness when in truth there should be an agreement reached between us both. But she has forsaken our scentlines, and so I deign not to begin to process - instead pinning the mare down with a piercing stare, waiting as the warm air billows around my nose for her to explain herself.

I had been a broken wreck of a not-mother when last she'd been on these grounds. Today, I am so much more - and hopefully, she will see that, and not be angry - but willing to come to peace about the event that occurred between us last fall.

[Hestia]

"I am the least of the gods. Why would you trust me with this?"
"You're the last and most important of them all" I replied.

Kagerus comes, her presence easy to detect with the heavy beating of wings, and long shadow that hovers over the black hag, a blanket from the sun. Snow crunches as hooves softly pad to a landing. Her ears flatten to her skull at the hard words that fill the space between the two mares. She finishes her drink before raising her head. The mare already within the queen’s space. Hestia’s eyes narrow as she turns to look at the mare that a year ago had brought the demon into this world. Are you saying I’m not welcome in a kingdom that agreed to such terms?

It isn’t a snarl, but flat in its cadence it couldn’t be taken for anything less. For the situation itself she knows that she is not in the wrong, the issue of the demon is solely on Kagerus; but for Kagerus opening her mouth… that part is truly Hestia’s mistake. As angry as she might be over the other’s… insensitivity. She looks at the hard eyed female before her with a distain that she herself does not recognize. Out of all that could have known her, out of all that she kept at arm’s length, it just had to be this creature that would know every dark and painful bit of her soul. The flames wrap her body in a cocoon of warmth as she patiently waits for a response.

She can’t help but wonder what the girl’s explanation will be for the actions she’d taken after Hestia left with the demon spawn. Her biggest argument? If Kagerus was truly that afraid of it, then why did she allow it to leave with Hestia to begin with. Would it not have been better for it to have remained at Kagerus’s side if she could not fully trust Hestia with it’s care? Even so how could Kagerus truly be angry with Hestia herself? She’d been there, seen it all, watched as the queen was raped and taken from the known worlds they’d traversed through her dream. She had to know that an incident so personal was not something to share with the public. For a time, they had been one, they could feel all the other felt, and as grating as that had been it was not the part that she was fearful of.

If others knew that she was raped, that she had allowed the rapist to remain at her side… what would it do? Not only to her reputation, but to the trust of her kingdom? The believed in her, her strength set her apart from them. For her to have this shame, for them to know why it had happened… It could crush Nerine. She would look weak, emotional, damaged. The people in her kingdom would frown on her inability to let go of her children, they would snub their noses that she’d been unable to fight off a dream. That a dream had consumed her whole and spit her out a skeleton of who’d she’d been before. Other kingdoms would come, and destroy all that she’d worked to build.

Kagerus had to know, and for her to ignore what she knew, it was pure insensitivity. She feels tired, so tired. So easy it would be to burn herself to ashes, yet that would solve nothing, she would just come back stronger, and besides there is the possibility of it destroying the life that currently grows in her womb. The only light in her life in these times of darkness. A truly wonderful thing for her, she deserves a break, deserves to know joy once more.

HESTIA

@[Kagerus]