I hope that you catch me, cause I’m already falling
Ilma
She doesn't really think she deserves all his devotion and attention, only half understanding what exactly it is that is growing between them. Their friendship has evolved, definitely, but his willingness to share the load of her horrors with her, means that she sometimes feels like a heavy burden. But today, right there and then, when she'd honestly tried to keep silent for as long as she could, she can only be thankful that there's someone here, unlike last time - well, okay, last time Solace had kept an eye on her, from a distance. But this time... she needs more support than that.
It's with heavy eyes that she looks up to him - so brilliant in his white and gold, while she herself feels like an old and used piece of - rock, maybe; just something heavy and not really worth to look at longer than a single glance. Life's not fair, she knows. She's been stupid enough to believe that Arithmetic might feel the same way; friendly at least, caring, but all that was a ruse resulting in -
contraction
Her thoughts get interrupted and she doesn't think she can get them back on track. Wordlessly at first, she nods at Svedka - really all she sees is him, her vision impaired by the pain she endures in waves, combined with the fact that she does not ever expect to see the biological father of this child again. In a moment of clarity, she can get more words out though. "Wish it were different." she manages.
She knew that, as soon as she discovered she was pregnant, this would be a difficult time. A sad time for her, in which for the good of the baby she might have to uphold a certain womanly strength, because despite all, she suspects that she can love the child. But it goes with ups and downs. She's not sure what she will do after he's born - leave him for the wolves to find? Or with the fairies? Kick his head in? The thoughts have crossed her mind more than once - but she's not capable of violence like that, although leaving him at the adoption den to take another foal home with her sounded like a reasona -
pain
It's visible on her now, not just because of the small sweaty droplets on her head, but because of the wave of muscle contracting on her sides. "I have to..." she looks around frantically, she's in an open spot, she doesn't want to be in the open. Bushes. Brambles are best but any kind of undergrowth would do at this point, and she presses her nose into Svedka's in a hastily greeting, to quickly shuffle forward to such a darker spot. For a moment, she thinks she catches the scent of another and freezes in place - that's the whole trouble with her, she freezes when she's scared - but she shakes her head, no, that's silly, just her mind playing tricks on her because of the memory. And she finds herself a spot to lie down, nostrils flaring, but sort of relieved that she won't have to carry the weight so literally again soon,
contraction
And she cradles, instinct taking over.
pain
Coming in waves now, shorter time lapse in between.
Now it has truly begun, and she thinks no more but gives in, to push with the contractions, this baby needs to get out!
I hope that you see right through my walls...
...put your arms around me, and I’m home
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