Out with the golden we sew // Warrick

[Kagerus]

kagerus

and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times

A voice in my mind, that much I can empathize with. That ever varying but constantly present chant of worthlessness in a place where only you can hear; a degrading slander of your own self concept so potent that not even the touch of a loved one could rouse more than a cough of dust from the pit of your heart. I know the feeling; I know the voice; I know the pain.

I am not his youngest or his eldest, nor even his blood; but he allows me closer than perhaps he ever has the others. With his skin just beneath mine, I can almost imagine the splitting of his seams as the light he once thought himself to be seeped out and is replaced with a dark cavern. The vast and empty darkness can feel like a prison at times, but in truth, he'll simply have to find a balance. That's why I'm here; to help him, to guide him. It's a roundabout sort of exchange when you think about it. After all, Solace had saved me from the suicide that my own inner darkness commanded: circularly, I am now here to help her father as he, too, struggles.

I inhale his scent; the fragments of his being.
So rigid and tense, and yet as steadfast as always. Even as the dark whirlpools of his demons pull him under, he hold those around him afloat; it's why he's king, it's why he's father, it's why he's Warrick. But today... Today, I will make him leave those things behind. For he must learn to swim, else cost not only his own life, but all those he supports so earnestly.

"There is a darkness in all of us," I rasp against his skin, warm compared to the stony coolness of his voice. Without warning, my mouth snakes out and I bite him harshly, drawing blood and stepping back as I'm sure he will too. My eyes are hard; my lips are wet. "Don't you dare succumb to it. Focus on that pain. You are here, you are now, and you will tell me what happened." He may be my father, but I'll be damned if I'm seen and not heard.

"Because I love you - and you know that you can trust me."

A part of me wants to go on, to add my sympathies and to tell my own stories of woe and self hatred and of suicide - but I am here for him. He may ask if he so wishes; but it's not what's going to help.

@[Warrick] Bitchkag says I LOVE YOU.